


Chaos

by StarGoddess



Series: Shadow 'Verse [1]
Category: Stargate Atlantis, Stargate SG-1
Genre: Accidental Drug Use, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence (Post Series), BAMF Women, Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, Human Experimentation, Kidnapping, Major Character Injury, Major Original Character(s), Mild Language, Minor Violence, Sentient Atlantis, Slow Build, Spies & Secret Agents, Unethical Experimentation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-06
Updated: 2014-01-06
Packaged: 2017-12-21 05:01:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 45,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/896090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarGoddess/pseuds/StarGoddess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A woman with a mysterious past comes to Atlantis and catches the eye of John Sheppard.  Is she what she seems to be, or something entirely different...and dangerous?<br/>Version 2.0 Update finished!  </p><p>“Try not to break any more of my men, Dr. Baran,” Sheppard said sternly.<br/>“I didn’t actually break the first one, Colonel,” EJ raised an eyebrow as she spoke in a matter-of-fact tone, “I merely caused some minor damage.”<br/>Sheppard felt the smile twitching onto his face again, “Try not to damage anyone else then.”<br/>“I will make an effort,” EJ gave Sheppard an assessing glance, “But no promises.”<br/>She stepped into a nearby transporter and disappeared.<br/>Sheppard fell into step with his second, “So…Evan, huh? I see you two are getting close.”<br/>“Not like you think, sir.”<br/>“How do you know how I think, Lorne?”<br/>“She reminds me of my youngest sister quite a bit.  Funny, in an odd, sarcastic sort of way.  EJ is actually really nice once you get to know her.”<br/>“Unless you grab her, what was it, backside?” Sheppard asked dryly.<br/>“Unless you grab her backside, sir,” Lorne smiled widely, “Other than that, she’s nice.”<br/>“I’m sure,” Sheppard drawled.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue - 2:23 AM

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own any of the Stargate characters or terms. This is just for fun.  
> This story is set about a year after the Stargate: Atlantis series ended and ignores Stargate: Universe series completely (because I didn't like that one hardly at all).  
> I know there are some factual mistakes, but I had to fudge some facts to make the story do what I wanted. I used Google Translate, so my apologies to anyone who actually speaks the languages.  
> FYI - I ninja-edit whenever I get bored, even after the story is already done...I'm a little neurotic. 
> 
> Enjoy!

“I know you’re awake, General O’Neill.” 

Jack opened his eyes, blinking rapidly to adjust to the light.  He briefly considered going for the gun he still kept in the drawer of his bedside table.  He focused on the young woman sitting across from his bed and taking in her injuries, decided against the gun, for now. 

“You better not be dripping blood on my carpet.  It takes forever to get the stains out,” he grumbled, leaning up on his elbows. 

“I’m not. But I owe you a clean towel.” 

Jack swung his feet over the side of the bed, sitting up completely.  

“I thought people were done breaking into my house.  Security system, my Aunt Fanny,” he mumbled almost to himself, "I'm getting a damn dog. A really big one."

“Now," he continued at a normal volume, "would you like to tell me what a nice young woman, such as yourself, is doing sitting in my bedroom in the middle of the night, with a spectacular looking bruise on her face and bloody gash in her arm, bleeding all over my nice, clean towel? Also, why shouldn’t I _shoot_ you and call the police?” 

“Because…” the woman uttered slowly, “…I need help.” 

That simple statement combined with the broken look on the young woman’s face made Jack relax marginally. 

“What do you need my help for? I’m just an old general counting the days until retirement and fishing.” 

“General O’Neill, while that may be true, you are also in the unique position of being one of the very few people who can help me.  I need you to listen to my story, without interruption.  After that, if you agree to help me, all I need is a signature and an introduction. If you don’t agree, I’ll leave and you will never hear from me again, sir.” 

“I believe women who break into my bedroom at…” he glanced at the clock by his bed, “Oh, _for crying out loud_ , at 2:23 am, can call me Jack.” 

The woman smiled very briefly at his exclamation, “You can call me EJ.” 

“Well, EJ, tell me a bedtime story.  And it better be a good one.  I’m missing out on some very valuable sleep for this,” he settled back against the headboard, crossing one ankle over the other. 

The young woman used her uninjured arm to pull a slim, black tablet from the space between her and the side of the chair.  She tapped a code onto the screen and tossed it onto the bed.  Jack reached over and picked it up. 

“It began 23 years ago, with a geneticist named Dr. David James and a project codenamed ‘Shadow’…” 

 

_*ChaosChaosChaosChaosChaosChaosChaos*_

 

“…which brings us here.  Me, breaking into your house with a cracked jaw, a slice in my arm, using what appears to be one of your last clean towels. I'm still hoping that you won’t decide to shoot me.  I’d rather not lose any more blood tonight.” 

Jack flipped through the final screens on the tablet and set it down beside him.

“Why me?” he asked seriously, crossing his arms across his chest. 

“Because I’ve read your file, the real, unedited version.  I know your history, all of it, the good, the bad, and every gray area in between.  I figured if anyone would help me, it would be you.”  

The young woman shifted in the chair, sitting up a little straighter, schooling her features into a practiced mask of calm, “I am out of options.  I’m no longer safe anywhere on Earth.  I am placing my trust in you.  Help me…please.” 

Jack swiped a tired hand down his face. 

“I should have stayed retired the first time,” he sighed, “The IOA isn’t going to like this.  And Woolsey is going to send me several days’ worth of memos about it.  It’d be easier all around just to shoot you.” 

“I can take care of the IOA matter with a quick phone call.  And we both know you don’t actually read those memos, sir.” 

Jack snorted, “I have _no doubt_ you can take care of the IOA, EJ.” 

“So…does this mean you’re going to help me?” EJ inquired hopefully. 

“Yes, it does.  I must be out of my damn mind.” 

EJ breathed a heavy sigh of relief and slumped back into the chair.   

“They leave in two days,” Jack said thoughtfully, “I can take you there later today, at a more _reasonable_ hour to give you that introduction.  I’ll have to allow Woolsey at least partial access to your file. And that doctor woman, Keller?  She’ll need to have your medical file on record.  She’ll want to do a complete physical before they leave.  It’s SOP and there is no way to get around it.” 

“Hmmm…” EJ tilted her head to one side and deliberated, “Woolsey can have partial access, but nothing to do with Project Shadow and the subsequent actions.  As far as he knows, I am a linguist who occasionally works for the government.  I’ll have to brief Keller personally about the medical file, with a few obvious omissions.  There are certain procedures that I cannot allow for security reasons.  But no one other than those two can know unless I _choose_ to tell them or it becomes absolutely necessary.” 

“And you _will_ behave yourself while you’re there,” Jack shook his finger at the young woman, “Keep a low profile.  The first time I hear about you stepping out of line or causing problems, I will tell Colonel Sheppard to have his marines shoot you.  Multiple times.  In the legs.  Both of them.” 

EJ tried to keep the smirk off her face, “I will try my utmost to be on my best behavior.” 

“Yeah, well, we’ll see about that,” Jack huffed.  He picked up the tablet beside him and leaned forward to hand it back to EJ.  She held up her hand to stop him. 

“Keep it,” she said, “That is one of only two existing copies of my unrestricted, un-redacted file.  Everything about Project Shadow, everything about my life.  I am trusting you with it.  Keep it safe; destroy it; use it for blackmail, whatever.  It’s yours.” 

“Gee thanks, just what I’ve always wanted.  Something else that could get me killed,” Jack said, rolling his eyes.  He cocked his head to the side, taking in the young woman’s drooping eyelids and pale skin, “You have a place to sleep?  Or, you know, get that arm taken care of?  Perhaps instead of using my towels as bandages…I might be able to help you patch it up, if you need.” 

“I…ummm…” she hesitated, “Well, actually, everything I need to take with me is in your living room at the moment.  I was _really_ counting on you not shooting me,” she glanced at the watch on her wrist, “My arm can wait until we get to the City later today.  It’s mostly done bleeding at this point, and I haven’t lost enough blood for it to be detrimental.  I can have the doctor there stitch it up while I fill her in on my medical file.  Two birds with one stone, as they say.  If you don’t mind terribly, can I borrow your shower and your couch until it’s time to leave?” 

Jack smiled for the first time since he discovered the broken, bleeding woman sitting in his room, “I get a choice in the matter?  Just clean up after yourself and don’t drink all the coffee in the morning.  I’m going back to sleep.”

EJ smiled and stood, “Of course, Jack.  I can’t make any promises about the coffee though.  Get your beauty rest, old man.  Busy day of paperwork and bureaucracy tomorrow.”   

“Keep it up, smartass,” he grumbled as he flicked off the bedside lamp, “I can still change my mind.” 

She closed the door behind her quietly as he settled comfortably into the bed. 


	2. Chapter One - Shinier

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a link to the eye color I had in mind for the OFC - http://fc08.deviantart.net/fs36/f/2008/248/e/a/What_Purple_Eyes_You_Have_by_Octosaur.jpg  
> And the hair - http://www.prettydesigns.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/Natural-Long-Hairstyle.jpg

Richard Woolsey checked his watch and straightened his gray uniform jacket in an unconscious gesture of annoyance.  He had received a transmission from the _Daedalus_ early in the morning containing new orders signed by General O’Neill.  There was also an attached message telling Woolsey to expect the General to beam down with a last minute addition at 1000 local time.  It was unusual for the General to come to Atlantis and even more irregular for him to _personally_ escort a ‘civilian contractor’ to the City.  But General O’Neill had specifically requested Woolsey himself meet the new arrival, so here he was, standing in the middle of the gate room, waiting impatiently. 

As if on cue, his radio crackled to life, _“Mr. Woolsey, this is the Daedalus, do you copy?”_

He tapped the earpiece with one finger, “This is Woolsey, go ahead.” 

_“We are ready to beam down General O’Neill, his guest, and her gear now.”_

“Thank you, _Daedalus_.  The gate room is clear.  Proceed.” 

A large beam of light flared in the gate room then two figures, a large metal footlocker and several small boxes were standing in the center of the room.  Woolsey took a moment to observe the two people.  The general looked much the same as the last time Woolsey had seen him, dressed neatly in his sharp black BDUs, this time with the correct number of stars on the collar.  His hair seemed more salt than pepper now, but his brown eyes were sharp as ever.  The young woman stood out in contrast next to him.  She was a slight-medium build, no more than 5’6” in the small heel of the standard issue black combat boots.  She had [long, pale blonde hair](http://www.prettydesigns.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/Natural-Long-Hairstyle.jpg) pulled back into a [loose, lopsided french braid](http://media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/28/dd/70/28dd70ea96f64baa98a2cf1e636c2668.jpg).  Several strands had escaped to frame her slim, lightly tan face.  She was also dressed in the standard black BDUs, usually reserved for military and off-world missions, the Atlantis and American flag patches in place, but her shirt was rumpled and one of the long sleeves was rolled up past the elbow.   

She turned her back to Woolsey to look at the Stargate, and let out a soft “Huh.” 

She turned to face the general and said in low, melodic, unaccented voice, “I thought it would be…well… _different_ , I guess. Shinier, maybe?” 

General O’Neill snorted at her, “Shinier, EJ?  _Really_?  You speak how many different languages and the best word you can come up with is ‘shinier’?” 

The woman shrugged one shoulder at him.  Woolsey cleared his throat and stepped forward, offering his hand.  

“General O’Neill, nice to see you again.” 

Jack shook his hand briefly, “Likewise, Richard.  This is Dr. EJ Baran,” he gestured to the woman standing next to him, “EJ, this is Richard Woolsey, head of the Atlantis expedition.” 

The young woman finally turned to face him fully and offered her hand, “Nice to meet you, Mr. Woolsey.” 

Woolsey narrowed his eyes fractionally as they shook hands.  She had a large, haphazard bandage sticking out from under the rolled-up sleeve above her elbow, blood seeping through in a couple spots from the movement of shaking Woolsey’s hand.  There was a large blue-purple bruise along her jaw on the left side of her face.  It distracted from her delicate, feminine features and her calm, wide eyes, [the irises a striking shade of violet](http://fc08.deviantart.net/fs36/f/2008/248/e/a/What_Purple_Eyes_You_Have_by_Octosaur.jpg).    

“The three of us should talk in your office, Richard,” Jack said as EJ released Woolsey’s hand and took a deliberate step back. 

“Of course.  Let me have someone move Dr. Baran’s things and we’ll head up there,” Woolsey motioned to uniformed men standing off to the side of the room and they stepped forward, “Thank you, gentlemen.” 

EJ grabbed a small, black backpack off the top of the boxes before the men picked the few items up and headed down a corridor.  O’Neill and Woolsey headed up the steps and through the control room to Woolsey’s office.  EJ followed close behind, pretending not to notice the odd glances she received from the staff on duty. 

Woolsey stepped around his desk and motioned to the chairs across from him before sitting down. 

“Dr. Keller should be here as well, Jack.  I’d rather not go through this more than once,” EJ said, letting the glass door close behind her and sitting down in the chair closest to it.  She set the backpack down gently beside her, out of the way, but still within reach. 

“Good point, I guess.  Makes things easier on me,” Jack replied as he sat down in the second chair, “Richard, could you call her in here please?” 

Woolsey mentally noted the familiar address of the general by the young woman as he tapped his earpiece once again, “Dr. Keller? Could you come to my office immediately please?” 

He slid his eyes over the woman again, assessing, “No emergency, but it does require your personal attention.  Thank you, Doctor.”  

He tapped his earpiece off again, looking between O'Neill and the young woman. 

“Dr. Keller will be here shortly.  Now, would either one of you like to tell me why Dr. Baran has been added to the Atlantis staff, without my approval, two days before we return to the Pegasus galaxy, with no prior record of her working with the SGC in any capacity?  What _exactly_ is she meant to be doing here?”    

O’Neill leaned back in the chair, crossing one leg over the other and put on an expression of mock outrage, “What’s this, Richard, no small talk? No ‘ _Hi, how are ya_? _How’ve you been_?’  Just straight on to business, I see.” 

EJ rolled her eyes and groaned, “Jack, must you antagonize everyone you meet?” 

Jack turned his head toward her, “I do not antagonize _everyone_ I meet.” 

One corner of her mouth lifted in a half smile, “What was that you said about Freyr’s mother?” 

“That was _completely_ justified.  He was being mean.” 

“Uh-huh.  And the thing with Anubis?” 

“He was a drama queen.  Also justified.” 

“And Ba’al?” 

“Those were mostly clones.  Clones don’t count.” 

“And the nice young airman who was responsible for beaming us down here?” 

“Oh, _puh-lease_.  He looked like he was 14.  I just wanted to make sure all my parts were going to rematerialize where they were supposed to.” 

“You thought asking if the equipment was older than him was the best way to ensure that?” 

“Like you weren’t thinking the same thing.” 

“The difference being, I wouldn’t say it out loud and especially not in his hearing range.” 

Woolsey cleared his throat, knowing if he didn’t interrupt the conversation, it could go on for quite a while and he would not get any explanation. He did notice the curious amount of information the young woman seemed to have about the General's career with the SGC, but decided against mentioning it for fear it would set the two of them off on another tangent.

O’Neill glanced at Woolsey and looked not-quite apologetic before settling back in the chair, “Right, straight on to business it is.” 

Jennifer Keller walked into Woolsey’s office then and looked over the two people sitting in the chairs.  She straightened unconsciously when she saw General O’Neill.  She surveyed the injuries on the young blonde and took a step towards her as she asked, “Are you alright?  That looks like a nasty bruise.” 

“I’m fine at the moment,” EJ said, body tensing as the doctor took another step closer. 

“Please shut the door and have a seat, Dr. Keller,” O’Neill directed, motioning towards the small couch on the other side of the room.   

Keller hesitated for a moment before she waved her hand over the control panel and sat down on the short sofa at the opposite side of the room.  Woolsey observed the visible tension that had risen in the young blonde when the unknown doctor had stepped closer.  He also noticed way that O'Neill had protected the woman with a simple order for Keller to sit.   

“General O’Neill, both Dr. Keller and myself are here.  If you would be so kind as to answer my questions now,” Woolsey said, folding his hands together over the top of his desk. 

“Please turn off the surveillance in this room, Mr. Woolsey,” EJ said calmly, visible tension dissipating from her body, “Then you may have your answers.” 

Woolsey sent a cautious glance towards the General.  O’Neill nodded his head.  Woolsey paused only a moment longer before tapping a couple keys on his desk. 

“Thank you, Mr. Woolsey.” 

EJ pulled two slim tablets out of the backpack next to her, handing one each to Woolsey and Keller before returning to her seat. 

“Dr. Baran will be working here in the newly formed linguistics department.  She will mainly be concentrating on translating the Ancient database, but you may utilize her skills in other places as you deem necessary.  She has a doctorate in linguistics from Harvard and a doctorate in advanced cryptography from MIT.  There is a list in her file of the languages and codes she is fluent in,” O’Neill explained. 

“This doesn’t explain the unique circumstances surrounding her arrival or why Dr. Keller had to be present for this meeting,” Woolsey said expectantly. 

“Dr. Baran’s situation is…” Jack searched for the word he wanted for a moment before finally settling on, “complicated.” 

“The passwords on each of those tablets are your personal SGC IDs,” EJ said easily, “The files each contains are my medical and personnel files.” 

Both Woolsey and Keller typed in their passwords and began to skim through the file. 

“This file is incomplete,” Woolsey stated. 

“That’s correct,” EJ replied. 

O’Neill held up a finger to stop the protest he could see forming in Woolsey’s mouth. 

Jack continued in his best ‘I am the General, so you do as I say’ voice, “For her safety, it will remain that way.  Those tablets will be the only copies; the file is not to be downloaded on to any server, transferred in any way, or discussed with anyone outside of this room.  You will have a chance to read it thoroughly later but the highlight of the story is; she is in danger on Earth.  Because of her qualifications and previous security clearance, I created a post for her here.  She reports directly to me as the head of Homeworld Command, not the IOA or SGC, but while on Atlantis, she will answer to you, Mr. Woolsey.  Dr. Keller, your file has her medical information and certain procedures that must be adhered to with regard to Dr. Baran’s medical care.  Mr. Woolsey, yours is slightly more comprehensive.  It includes some pertinent information as to Dr. Baran’s previous employment and her qualifications.  Neither of you will share the information you have been given with anyone else, for any reason.  The consequences of doing so will be severe, not just for yourselves, but for Dr. Baran as well.” 

Dr. Keller, who had been flipping through screens on the pad, looked up at EJ and asked, “It says here that you have been shot over half a dozen times, stabbed at least a dozen more, and broken so many bones I stopped counting.  How does a linguist get injured that many times?” 

EJ shrugged her un-injured arm, “Some people don’t like what I translate, I suppose.” 

Dr. Keller tilted her head in an ‘I’m not really _that_ stupid’ way and replied wryly, “I see,” before turning her attention back to the tablet. 

Woolsey looked up from his perusal of the tablet in front of him, “General, while I see that Dr. Baran is _imminently_ qualified to be here, I must say that I am uncomfortable with this situation, especially keeping Dr. Baran’s background secret from the majority of my senior staff.  What sort of danger warrants the creation of a new position and a separate department within the most secret organization on the planet?” 

“The sort that ends with death, or worse,” O’Neill replied tersely. 

Woolsey raised an eyebrow at the unusual tone and phrasing of O’Neill’s reply. 

“Mr. Woolsey,” EJ stated calmly, drawing the room’s attention to her once again, “I understand your concerns.  If I was handed only a partial file and told to keep even that much from the people I trusted, I would be uncomfortable as well.  It may not mean much to you now, but I give you my word that I am not here to cause any harm to Atlantis or any of its inhabitants.  Jack has given me the opportunity to come here, and I intend to make as much of it as I can.  I’d like the chance to prove that I can be useful here.” 

Woolsey tapped the fingers of one hand on his desk as he contemplated the young woman in front of him. 

“I will agree to three months, Dr. Baran,” he decided finally, “After that we will re-evaluate.” 

EJ breathed a quiet sigh of relief, “Thank you, Mr. Woolsey.  And please, call me EJ.” 

O’Neill clapped his hands together once and stood up, “Great, that’s settled.  Now, I have to get back to my office where my _minions_ are no doubt wandering around aimlessly, waving memos requiring my ‘immediate attention’.” 

Woolsey tapped the keys to turn the security in the room back on, then touched a finger to his earpiece, “ _Daedalus,_ General O’Neill is ready to be beamed back.” 

“ _Understood.”_

O’Neill sent one final fond look at EJ, “You behave now, kid.” 

EJ smiled softly as O’Neill vanished in a beam of light. 

Woolsey stood up from his chair and Dr. Keller followed suit. 

“Dr. Baran, if you would, please follow Dr. Keller to the infirmary so she can look over your injuries and give you the standard physical before we leave.  I will assign you living quarters and see if I can locate a lab for you to work out of while you are here.  I’ll have some men move your things to your quarters.  Someone will stop by the infirmary after your physical to give you a brief tour of the City and show you the quarters you have been assigned.  There is a staff meeting in the main briefing room tomorrow at 1400 local time.  Since we didn’t have a formal linguistics department before now, I ask that you be there so I can introduce you to the senior staff and give them a suitable explanation for you being here.  Do not make me regret this, Dr. Baran.” 

“Thank you, Mr. Woolsey,” EJ picked up her bag and stood.  Woolsey waved a hand in dismissal at the two women and sat back down to read the file he had been given more thoroughly. 

“This way, Dr. Baran,” Keller said, holding the tablet in one hand as she swiped over the crystals by the door with the other, “You better let me take a look at that arm.” 

“Please, call me EJ.” 


	3. Chapter Two - Introductions

The next day at 1400 exactly, EJ walked into the briefing room and the doors pivoted shut behind her.  She was again wearing a set of black BDUs, but these seemed to be in much better shape.  The shirt had short sleeves and a large section of carefully taped gauze was visible above her right elbow.  Her long hair was pulled into a simple, high ponytail that left the bruise on her jaw very noticeable.  The people seated around the table looked at her with varying degrees of curiosity and concern as she took the last seat at the table. 

Dr. Keller looked up from the tablet she was reading and frowned, “You should be wearing the sling I gave you, EJ.”  

EJ only grinned at her, slowly moving her arm up to set both elbows on the polished table. 

Keller brandished her stylus at the other woman, “If you pull any of my stitches out of that arm, I will be very unhappy with you.” 

EJ refrained from rolling her eyes as she responded, “I will be ever so careful, Jennifer.  I’d never ruin any of your hard work.” 

Keller “Hmmm’d” in quiet disbelief before turning her gaze back to her tablet. 

Woolsey cleared his throat, directing their attention to him, “Everyone, I would like to introduce you to Dr. EJ Baran.  She was a late addition to our staff yesterday by Homeworld Command,” Woolsey said, skating close to the truth, “Dr. Baran has PhDs in both linguistics and advanced cryptography.  She has been previously employed with various organizations within the American government as a translator.  She reports directly to me and will act as the head of the linguistics department from now on.  Dr. Baran has been tasked with translating the Ancient database.  In addition, I was informed by Dr. Keller this morning that she has tested positive for the ATA gene-” 

“Yes, her compatibility is the highest we’ve seen so far, even higher than Colonel Sheppard’s,” Keller interrupted. 

“-which means she will make herself available to the engineers working on Ancient technology  as needed, provided it doesn’t interfere with her other duties," Woolsey finished.   

“Awww, Richard.  Light switch duty?” EJ pouted, “Is that really necessary?” 

The man with dark, wild hair to Woolsey’s left said barely audible, “Better you than me…” 

Woolsey stared at her with a disapproving look for a moment before she sighed softly and nodded her agreement. 

“Dr. Baran, this is Lt. Colonel John Sheppard, the military commander of Atlantis and leader of AR-1.  Major Evan Lorne, Colonel Sheppard’s second in command and leader of AR-2.  Dr. Rodney McKay, our Chief Science Officer and member of AR-1.  Dr. Radek Zelenka, Chief Engineer and Dr. McKay’s second in command.  Dr. Keller, our Chief Medical Officer, you have already met,” he gestured to each of them as he introduced them, “Next to Colonel Sheppard is Ronon Dex and next to you is Teyla Emmagen.  They are both members of AR-1 and our guides in the Pegasus galaxy.  If you have any questions about Atlantis while you are getting settled, please ask any of them.” 

“Excuse me,” said the man clutching his cup of coffee tightly, “Why wasn’t I… _weren’t we_ informed of the changes?  And why doesn’t she report to me?  I am the head of the science department. All the scientists report to me.  Even the _useless_ ones.  We don’t need an entire department just for some translator.  What makes her different from the hundred other scientists and civilians stationed in Atlantis?  Why do we need a separate person _just_ to translate the Ancient database?  We’ve been doing that just fine up until now.” 

The shorter man with small round glasses glanced at him sideways.

“Rodney,” he sighed, annoyance clear in his tone. 

EJ noted the Czech flag on the arm of the shorter man’s jacket.  She tilted her head slightly to one side and said in perfectly accented Czech, “ _Má vždycky takhle pokračovat?_ ”  [Czech: Does he always go on like that?] 

The shorter man, Zelenka, she noted, blinked at her twice before breaking into a small grin and responding in kind, “ _No, někdy to bude mnohem horší. Bojím se, že jednoho dne bude mít infarkt ve středu nadávat zaměstnance_.”  [Czech: No, sometimes it gets much worse.  I worry that one day he will have a heart attack in the middle of berating the staff.]

 _“_ _Budu si to pamatovat,_ ” EJ replied, eyes twinkling in amusement.  [Czech: I will keep that in mind.] 

McKay, whose mouth had gaped open at the string of Czech he didn’t understand, snapped his jaw shut when Woolsey started speaking again. 

“Dr. Baran reports to me because Homeworld wants it that way.  And you were informed just now, along with the rest of the senior staff, less than twenty-four hours after the changes were made.  As for her duties, it was decided it would be more efficient to have someone concentrate on translating the database, given its size, thus freeing up your scientists and engineers to work on other things.  Now, if there are no further questions?” he looked at McKay. 

“I have a question,” drawled Sheppard, the wild haired man who had spoken earlier.  He looked at EJ and his piercing hazel-green eyes met her still amused violet ones, “What’s with the bruise?” 

EJ’s expression shuttered instantly and she moved her arms back from the table to place them loosely at her sides in the chair.  A blank mask spread across her face as she answered, “It is the result of a misjudgment on my part.” 

Sheppard’s eyes narrowed and grew harder at her calculated and obviously practiced reply.  Ronon shifted in his seat, growing tense in response to Sheppard’s attitude towards the new woman. 

“Dr. Keller mentioned stitches.  What happened there?” John questioned evenly. 

“Another result of that misjudgment.  I can assure you, the situation has since been remedied and will not affect my work here,” she answered in the same practiced, calm tone.  She kept her blank expression in place as Sheppard stared at her, almost daring him to challenge her description. The room grew tense around them until Woolsey cleared his throat again and Sheppard dropped his stare to turn his attention back to the older man. 

“Continuing on,” Woolsey said, attempting to shift the subject away from Dr. Baran, “I would like final updates on every department’s readiness to leave for Pegasus tomorrow morning.” 

EJ tuned out the remainder of the meeting: reports from each of them detailing what had been completed and what still had to be finished in the next 12 hours.  Sheppard kept glancing at EJ but she steadily avoided meeting his eyes, pretending instead to intensely study the tablet in front of her. 

“If there is nothing further,” Woolsey glanced at his watch, “I believe that all of you have last minute details that need to be taken care of.  We will depart tomorrow at 0400 local time.  Colonel Sheppard, Dr. McKay, Dr. Zelenka, the three of you should report to the chair room at that time.  Major Lorne, if you would, please take Dr. Baran to get a radio and show her to the lab she has been assigned.” 

“Yes, sir,” answered Lorne automatically.  He stood, picked up his tablet from the table, and motioned to the doors, “Dr. Baran, if you would follow me please?” 

EJ stood with her tablet in hand and smiled at him politely, “Please, call me EJ.  No one calls me Dr. Baran,” she followed him out the nearest door, “Except for Richard, but he’s a bit stuffy, isn’t he?” 

Lorne’s barely muffled laughter was the last thing heard as they walked away.  Everyone else stood up and started filing out of the room, heading toward their various duties.  Sheppard stood but stayed where he was, waiting for the room to clear and the doors to close again before speaking to Woolsey. 

“Who is Dr. Baran really, Woolsey, and why is she on Atlantis?  If she’s _just_ a linguist, I’ll eat Rodney’s day-old mission socks.” 

Woolsey pulled the front of his uniform jacket straight as he stood up, “She is an _extremely_ _qualified_ linguist and a gifted cryptographer.  She speaks more languages than Dr. Jackson and her security clearance is equivalent to mine.  While she is technically here at Homeworld’s request, a more accurate description would be that she is here by special request of General O’Neill.  He delivered her _personally_ to the City yesterday morning.  He said that she is in some sort of trouble on Earth and because of her skills and security clearance, he created a position for her here.  I agreed to her working here for the next three months on a probationary basis.” 

“Trouble?” Sheppard asked dryly, crossing his arms across his chest, “I’d say that’s about right.  I’ve taken enough fists to the face to know what one looks like.  She has enough stitches in her arm for Dr. Keller to require a sling.  Which, I'd like to point out, she isn't wearing.” 

Woolsey sighed gently as he gathered his tablet and the folder that he had carried in with him, “I understand your concerns, Colonel, and I share them.  However, I have been assured by both General O’Neill and Dr. Baran that there will be no problems while she is here on Atlantis.” 

“I’d like to see her personnel file.” 

“I’m afraid that’s not possible.  General O’Neill restricted access to her file to Dr. Keller and myself for Dr. Baran’s safety.  I am going to have to ask that you trust my judgment on this, Colonel Sheppard.” 

“You aren’t making this easy, Woolsey,” Sheppard grumbled.  He uncrossed his arms and pointed a finger at Woolsey, “I’ll back off.  For now.  But she doesn’t get any special treatment.  She is subject to the same rules as everyone else.  If you expect her to go off-world with any of my teams, she has to pass the same requirements as everyone else.” 

“Agreed, Colonel,” Woolsey said as he headed out of the room. 

“And I reserve the right to have Ronon shoot her!” Sheppard called at Woolsey’s retreating back.    


	4. Chapter Three - Self-Defense

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any tarnishing of the USMC reputation is an unintentional side-effect of the original character in the story. There is also some very mild language.

The three weeks in hyperspace and subsequent landing on New Lantea had been uneventful.  Despite Sheppard’s concerns, EJ slid easily into the fabric of Atlantis.  Not that he had been keeping tabs on her, of course.  It’s not like he noticed the way her blonde pony-tail swished back and forth when she walked gracefully through the halls.  Or the way she tilted her head to one side when she was thinking.  Or the way she talked to every one of the base staff in their native language, no matter what it was.  Well, he had been keeping tabs, but he told himself it was for purely professional reasons, not because he was interested in any way. 

The scientists were giddy when she gave them the first set of translated reports from the Ancient database a week into their hyperspace journey.  With EJ doing the translating, they were able to spend more time doing research and experimenting.  The various engineers were ecstatic to have someone ATA positive that could easily activate and use the Ancient tech for them.  Rodney had grudgingly said to Sheppard sometime during the second week, “She has a halfway decent brain and can make Ancient tech roll over and beg. Better than anyone we have now, including you.” 

She won over most of the military early on by donating a dozen brand new decks of cards, several sets of poker chips, and a couple of footballs and soccer balls.  Woolsey was seen having lunch in the cafeteria with her after their landing on New Lantea, looking almost happy as she chatted quietly with him.  After Keller had deemed her medically fit, Lorne had taken her to the shooting range for small-arms qualification and the gym for some self-defense.  After a couple sessions, he had cleared her for off-world travel and they made a standing appointment to spar every couple of days. 

Everything had been going well, so it was at that point, of course, Sheppard received a call in the middle of eating lunch with his team. 

_“Colonel Sheppard, this is Dr. Keller, you busy?”_

He set down the water he was drinking and tapped his radio, “This is Sheppard.  What’s up, Doc?” 

_“Could you come down to the infirmary please? There is a matter that requires your attention.  It shouldn’t take too long.”_

“On my way,” he said as he stood, tapping his earpiece off, “Duty calls.  If I’m not back by the time you guys are done, save my sandwich for me.” 

 

_*ChaosChaosChaosChaosChaosChaosChaos*_

 

Sheppard entered the infirmary to see Lorne dressed in baggy gray sweatpants, a faded blue USAF t-shirt, and his well-worn tennis shoes, concentrating hard on visibly holding back his laughter.  EJ was standing next to him with irritated expression on her face, her [long hair pulled up into a very messy pile at the top of her head](http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-fKFhmbc7h2Q/TwMKRZQiniI/AAAAAAAACXI/er_vlsIpJpE/s400/tumblr_lry78sw50M1qmgh4po1_500_large_large.jpg).  She was wearing a [tight, pale gray tank top](http://www.ellieapparel.net/pic/a6/nike-women-s-maria-ace-tennis-tank-top-sports-bra-training-dance-white-425911.jpg) and [black capri pants that sat low on her hips](https://secure.cartkeeper.com/~palmbeac/item_images/ON-213-300.jpg), leaving a smooth, tan strip of skin showing on her flat stomach.  Both pieces of clothing accentuated her lightly muscled curves.  She seemed shorter with her bare feet planted firmly on the cold floor of the infirmary.  He saw the barely visible long, thin, white line on her right bicep and wondered if it could be from the injury she had when she arrived on Atlantis. 

He looked past them to a large, overly-muscled man sitting on a gurney, dressed similarly to Lorne, wearing a brand new olive green USMC shirt with blood drops down the front of it.  Sheppard didn’t immediately recognize him, so he was most likely new to the City.  He was complaining loudly, holding his furiously bleeding nose.  Dr. Keller, valiantly trying not to smile, tried to get him to hold still long enough to inspect his nose. 

“Major,” Sheppard said as he tilted his head towards his second. 

“Colonel,” Lorne acknowledged, smirk firmly in place. 

Sheppard stepped forward to stand next to Keller and spoke over the moaning marine, “What seems to be the problem here, Doc?” 

“I’ll tell you what the problem is, sir,” the marine yelled, “That crazy bitch broke my nose!” 

Keller answered easily, as if the angry man hadn’t screamed in her face, “It seems Corporal Johnson got into a disagreement with EJ and it turned physical.  I would be able to determine more if the Corporal would hold still long enough.” 

Sheppard gave the marine a hard look to silence him before turning to EJ, “Is that true, Dr. Baran?” 

EJ sighed heavily before answering, “In a manner of speaking.” 

“In a manner of speaking?” Sheppard fixed her with the same look that had silenced the marine, “Either you got into a fight with one of my marines or you didn’t. Which is it?” 

Lorne let out a quickly suppressed laugh as EJ rolled her eyes, unaffected by Sheppard’s glare. 

“Well, I wouldn’t _exactly_ call it a fight, but _yes_ , we had a disagreement and _yes_ , it did get physical.  There were extenuating circumstances though!” EJ answered, frustration clear in her voice. 

“Dr. Baran,” Sheppard cautioned, “What _exactly_ happened?” 

“Corporal Grabby-hands over there,” EJ gestured wildly toward the man on the gurney, “approached me while I was doing yoga in the main gym.  He attempted to start a conversation with me, but I was _trying_ to finish my workout and totally _uninterested_ in anything he had to say, so I was ignoring him.  When it became clear he wasn’t going to leave or _stop talking at me_ unless I said something, I asked him _nicely_ to go away.  Apparently, ‘asking nicely’ is jarhead for ‘ _grab me and say something ridiculous’_.  He put his big, fat, dumb hand on my ass, pulled me _WAY closer_ to him than I ever want to be again, and told me he could be convinced, and I quote, ‘ _to_ _find out just how flexible all that yoga made me_ ’ in his quarters tonight.  At which point, I twisted his arm away from my ass and hit him in the face.  I only hit him one time though!” 

Sheppard felt his mouth twitch upwards and suddenly understood why Lorne was trying not to laugh.  EJ sounded like a teenage girl trying to explain to her parents that the detention wasn't really her fault.   

“It’s true, sir,” Lorne said, trying to be serious, “I was there and saw what happened.  EJ was polite until the Corporal grabbed her…uh…backside.  She twisted his arm and knocked him to the ground before I could step in.” 

“Knocked him down?” Sheppard asked skeptically, dragging his eyes over the shorter woman.  The marine was at least eight inches taller and over a hundred pounds heavier than her. 

“How did a little thing like you manage to knock one of my marines to the ground with one punch?” 

“I am not little!” EJ protested loudly, “And _seriously_?  That’s what you take away from the story?” 

Sheppard only stared at her until she continued, “Evan's been teaching me some self defense." 

"Really?" Sheppard looked over to his second, then back to EJ. 

"He's a very good teacher?"

It was clearly a question the way she said it. 

“Self-defense classes. Right,” Sheppard swiped one hand over his mouth in an attempt to wipe away the forming smile before turning back to the marine. 

Keller had finally managed to check his nose and was cleaning the some of the blood off his face. 

“So, what’s the damage, Doc?” 

“His nose is definitely broken, but it doesn’t look like more than mild break.  I’ll x-ray it to be sure, but there’s not much I can do for a broken nose.  His arm might be sprained from the way it was twisted, but there’s no lasting physical damage.  The arm will be just fine in a day or two, and the nose will heal in a couple weeks.” 

“In that case, Corporal Johnson,” Johnson sat up straighter when he was addressed directly by his CO, “after the doc here clears you, you are required to attend one of Woolsey’s sexual harassment lectures at his earliest convenience.  There will have a note in your permanent file about this incident and you're on baby-sitting duty for the waste-disposal engineers for the next three months.” 

Johnson opened his mouth to protest his punishment, but Sheppard continued, “Unless, of course, you would like to submit a complaint of assault against Dr. Baran.  In which case, you can file a written report with the SGC explaining how a fully trained marine got his ass handed to him by a hundred-pound female civilian after groping her in the gym.  Would you like to file an assault charge against Dr. Baran?” 

“No, sir,” Johnson said tightly, “I’ll report to Mr. Woolsey and Dr. Zelenka as soon as I’m cleared by Dr. Keller.” 

Sheppard turned back to EJ, “Would you like to file a charge of sexual harassment against Corporal Johnson?” 

EJ considered the marine carefully, his nose now slightly crooked on his face, “I don’t think that will be necessary, Colonel.  I’m sure the Corporal learned his lesson and will keep his hands to himself in the future.” 

“Okay then.  You and Lorne are dismissed,” he turned his head to Keller, “Thanks for the call, Doc.  Now, I’d like to get back to my lunch.” 

Lorne and EJ headed out the door, Sheppard close behind. 

“Did you want to go back to the gym to finish your yoga?” Lorne asked. 

“No, that’s alright, Evan.  I’m going to shower and head back to my lab.  I was playing light switch for Radek and his engineers all morning, so I should get some real work done this afternoon, earn my keep and all,” EJ looked down at her feet and wiggled her bare toes, “Could you send one of the boys over with my shoes when they get a free moment?” 

Lorne laughed warmly, “I will.  See you later, EJ.” 

She smiled brightly at him. 

“Try not to break any more of my men, Dr. Baran,” Sheppard said sternly. 

“I didn’t actually break the first one, Colonel,” EJ raised an eyebrow as she spoke in a matter-of-fact tone, “I merely caused some minor damage.”   

Sheppard felt the smile twitching onto his face again, “Try not to _damage_ anyone else then.” 

“I will make an effort,” EJ gave Sheppard an assessing glance, “But no promises.” 

She stepped into a nearby transporter and disappeared. 

Sheppard fell into step with his second, “So… _Evan_ , huh? I see you two are getting close.”  

“Not like you think, sir,” Lorne sent a sideways look at his CO. 

“How do you know how I think, Lorne?” 

“She reminds me of my youngest sister quite a bit.  Funny, in an odd, sarcastic sort of way.  EJ is actually really nice once you get to know her.” 

“Unless you grab her, what was it, _backside_?” Sheppard asked dryly. 

“Unless you grab her backside, sir,” Lorne smiled widely, “Other than that, she’s nice.” 

“I’m sure,” Sheppard drawled, “Write up a statement and email a copy to both Woolsey and me when you get a chance, Major.” 

“Yes, sir,” Lorne said, turning the corner to the gym. 

Sheppard came back into the mess hall just as his team was getting up from the table. 

“Is everything all right, John?” Teyla inquired as she handed Sheppard his sandwich. 

“I guess," Sheppard shrugged, "Dr. Baran… _damaged_ a marine in the gym.” 

“There was an accident?” Teyla asked, concern flitting across her expression. 

“Oh, it definitely wasn’t an accident,” Sheppard drawled, “She broke his nose because he grabbed her ass.  I have to go take a look at the security footage and figure out how to write a report that doesn’t make the whole thing sound ridiculous.” 

“EJ broke some guy’s nose?” McKay gaped around the last of his jello. 

“Yup.  Knocked his ass down, according to Lorne.” 

“Huh.  Guess she’s stronger than she looks,” McKay said, setting the empty dish with the others on the way out. 

“It would appear so,” added Teyla with a soft smile. 

Rodney and Teyla each went their separate ways as they left the cafeteria but Ronon followed Sheppard down the corridor to his office. 

“Something wrong, Chewie?” Sheppard asked. 

“She’s hiding something,” Ronon answered. 

Sheppard stopped where he was in the hallway and turned to look at the taller man, “What makes you say that?” 

“She watches the people around her like she expects an attack.  Always on her guard.  Like me when I first came here.  Someone hurt her before,” Ronon said simply, then turned to walk back down previous corridor, “She’s running so it doesn’t happen again.” 

“Yeah, thanks, big guy,” Sheppard said to his back. 

Sheppard considered Ronon’s words carefully as he made his way to his office to write what was sure to be an interesting report. 


	5. Chapter Four - Truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So many attractive men on this show...

After what became known as the ‘Nose’ incident, things on Atlantis went back to normal.  As normal as things on Atlantis could get anyway.  There were a handful of teams coming back through the gate with Wraith on their heels.  McKay and Zelenka only had to stop dangerous Ancient tech from blowing up the City twice.  EJ continued to make easy friends with most people in the city, even though everyone stayed well out of her personal space now. 

EJ went off-world with a couple of science teams to translate some text found on the walls of old ruins, making the archeologists’ eyes glaze over with excitement.  A few times Woolsey sent her out to help negotiate favorable trades with people who preferred to use something other than the universal trade language.  Each time, the teams she went out with came back happy and smiling.  Woolsey even cracked a full smile in the middle of the gate room after EJ came back with news of a particularly good trade agreement with a notoriously difficult people. 

After a trip to the Athosian settlement with Teyla, the two women came back laughing and chatting merrily.  Teyla promised to start instructing EJ in the _bantos_ rods the following day.  Sheppard walked into the gym later that week to see Teyla execute a spin and strike with her rods that sent EJ down to one knee, grinning and barely out of breath.  EJ excused herself shortly after Sheppard arrived, saying she had reports to finish. 

When Ronon came across her running early one morning, he jogged next to her silently.  When the two of them came upon Sheppard half an hour later, stretching for his run with Ronon, EJ thanked Ronon for the company and set off towards her quarters.  Ronon and EJ ran together every morning after that, easily keeping pace with each other, but EJ always left within a minute of Sheppard showing up. 

Even Rodney seemed to be getting along well with EJ.  Rodney’s version of ‘well’ anyway.  Sheppard made his way to Rodney’s lab late one evening, hoping to get his teammate to go to bed at a decent hour so he wouldn’t be cranky the next morning for their scheduled mission. He walked in to find a very loud, very animated argument in progress.  Zelenka was sitting at his laptop, grinning wildly and watching the two people standing in front of a whiteboard covered with various squiggles. 

“I’m telling you, Rodney, you have to put this sequence there-“ 

“No, look.  Here.  If I put this one-"

“That can’t go there, this other one has to-" 

“Please, I think I would see it if-"

“You’ve been staring for an hour…Look, right _there_ , see? It goes-"

“I have NOT been staring for an hour, EJ.  And even if I was, your PhD is in what exactly? Oh, that’s right, _language_.  These are _numbers_.  That doesn’t go-" 

“Also advanced cryptology, you nitwit.  It’s an Ancient cypher.  I’ve seen something-” 

" _I'm_ a nitwit? Listen, Blondie, you can't just-"

While they continued arguing in half completed sentences and various insults, Sheppard leaned against the table and asked Zelenka quietly, "What are they arguing about?"

A particularly vicious Czech insult from EJ had Zelenka snorting, "I have no idea.  Section of the database."

"Who's winning?" Sheppard wondered curiously. 

"Initially, Rodney," Zelenka answered gleefully, "But now, I think it is EJ winning."   

“How long have they been going at it?” 

Zelenka smile grew impossibly wider, “For the better part of an hour, Colonel Sheppard.  It has been most entertaining to watch.” 

“If you say so…” Sheppard stood straight and clapped his hands together twice to get their attention, “Okay, Doctors, time for bed now.  You can solve the mysteries of the universe tomorrow.” 

“What?" Rodney looked at his watch, "What time is it?” 

“2300. We leave at 0900 sharp tomorrow. Time to be done for the night.” 

“Yes, yes, fine.  We were just finishing anyway,” Rodney flapped his hand at Sheppard, looking back at the board.    

“I suppose I should get some sleep too,” EJ winced as she checked her own watch, “I’m heading out with Evan and the boys at 0730 tomorrow to work out an agreement involving some sort of weird purple potato things that taste like chicken.  Supposedly, they’re very nutritious.” 

EJ snatched the marker out of Rodney’s hand while he was looking away, causing him to let out an indignant squawk of protest.  She scribbled a couple of numbers and symbols into the empty space on the board they had been arguing about. 

“NOW, we’re finished,” she said proudly.  She tossed the marker on to the table towards Zelenka and stuck her tongue out at Rodney before flouncing out of the room, blonde ponytail swishing behind her. 

Rodney stared at what she had written on the board for a full 45 seconds before his mouth fell open with a loud, “ _Huh_.” 

“What, Rodney?” Sheppard asked. 

Rodney gestured toward the door that EJ had left through with a frown, “She was right.  How did that happen?” 

Zelenka picked up the marker and placed it in the tray under the whiteboard, not even trying to hide his smirk, “It is code, Rodney.  This is what EJ does.” 

“Yes, well, I would’ve figured it out without her help,” Rodney huffed. 

Sheppard took Rodney by the arm and steered him out of the room before he could get distracted again, “I’m sure you would have, Rodney.” 

They walked towards the personal quarters.  Sheppard was quiet as they stepped into the transporter.  After the quick flash that took them to the section that housed both of their rooms, they stepped out and Sheppard turned to Rodney thoughtfully, “Have you noticed that Dr. Baran always leaves the room as soon as I come in?”

Rodney eyed Sheppard warily, “Why are you asking?  Worried she’s immune to your whole Captain Kirk routine?” 

“I just want to know if I've done something to offend her.  She gets along with everyone else.  All the off-world teams come back saying they’d love to work with her again.  Lorne said he was thinking about asking her to be a permanent member of his team since Parrish wants to spend more time in the lab.  Is it just me she doesn’t like?” 

“I don’t think it’s just you.  Remember there was that thing with that guy’s nose?” 

“That’s the only incident since she’s been here and I probably would’ve done the exact same thing in her position.  She spars with Teyla, she runs with Ronon, she hangs out with Lorne whenever they're both off-duty.  She even comes into your lab to argue with you.  She calls Woolsey by his _first name_ and has lunch with him twice a week.” 

“Well, I’m don’t really think I’m supposed to say anything...” Rodney started hesitantly. 

“Say anything about what?” Sheppard asked. 

Rodney’s eyes darted up and down the hallway, making sure they were alone before he continued, “…I may have overheard her talking with Teyla the other day.  You make her nervous or something like that.” 

Sheppard’s brow furrowed at the unexpected answer, “I make her nervous? What are you talking about?” 

“She was telling Teyla that you’re the only person here she can’t figure out.  That really bothers her, for some reason.  And something about your eyes, but I quit listening at that point.” 

“My eyes?  _What_?  I’m not that hard to figure out.”

“I’m just telling you what I heard.  I’m going to bed now.  See you in the gate room at 0900, Sheppard.” 

Rodney walked off towards his room, leaving a confused Sheppard standing in the hall. 

 

_*ChaosChaosChaosChaosChaosChaosChaos*_

Sheppard and his team stood in the gate room checking over their gear just before 0900, making sure everything was in place before they left.  The symbols on the 'gate began to light up and they heard “ _Incoming wormhole!_ ” from the gate tech on duty.  Sheppard looked up to see Woolsey coming out of his office to stand by the control panel. 

“Major Lorne’s IDC, sir.  They are reporting minor injuries and requesting a medical team.” 

“Drop the shield and call the infirmary,” Woolsey said calmly.  He started down the stairs as the shield lowered. 

A red-faced sergeant came through first, limping carefully.  The new lieutenant assigned to the mission was next, a lumpy bruise forming on his forehead.  Lorne stepped through the horizon with his hand fisted in the front of EJ’s gray jacket, pulling her along behind him.  She was babbling excitedly in French, waving both hands in wild, sweeping gestures, not pausing in the stream of words for anyone to respond.  All the members of the team, Lorne included, seemed on the verge of hysterical laughter as the 'gate cut off behind them. 

“Major Lorne,” Woolsey said as he stepped off the bottom step, “What happened?” 

EJ managed to pull away from Lorne’s grasp and sauntered over to Woolsey.  She put one finger up an inch away from Woolsey’s nose and waggled it at him playfully as she switched to what sounded like Dutch and continued babbling.  The two younger members of Lorne’s team lost their internal struggle at that point and started laughing out loud.  Lorne limited himself to a toothy smile, but it was clearly hard for him to do so. 

“Sorry, sir,” Lorne spoke loud enough to be heard over EJ, “It appears that as part of the negotiations on PK4-390 both parties are supposed to share in a ceremonial drink.  EJ was the only one from our team to drink from the cup.  We didn’t notice anything unusual until she started saying some… _odd_ things.  It must have been laced with some sort of drug.  I decided that it would be best to come back here and have Dr. Keller take a look at her.  Sgt. Young managed to snag a sample of the drink while I made our excuses to their leaders.  Lt. Jones attempted to keep EJ occupied while we made our way back to the gate.  He was trying to get EJ headed in the right direction again when he ran into a low branch.  That’s how he got the bruise on his forehead.  While he was busy _laughing at the lieutenant_ , Sgt. Young tripped over a large root and sprained his ankle.” 

During Lorne’s speech, Dr. Keller and a tall medic with a Spanish flag patch on his jacket came into the gate room and started looking over the two laughing marines.  EJ finished her Dutch babbling and put both hands on her hips. 

“I’m off probation already, right, Richard?” EJ asked sweetly, “Because I like it here, and I’d really like to stay.  I think I’ve behaved very well, all things considered.  I mean, I did break that _šupak_ 's nose a couple months ago, but he really shouldn't have grabbed my ass.  And it's not like I caused any permanent damage.  I was very careful about that.  I’ve been good other than that, haven’t I?  Did you shine your head this morning?  It seems extra shiny today, but I suppose that could just be sweat.  Although, I’m not sure why you would be sweating.  I asked Atlantis to keep the temperature a bit cooler in your office because I know you like it that way.”  [Romanian: asshole] 

“EJ,” Lorne bit his cheek to keep from laughing as Woolsey's eyes widened in shock, “Maybe you should come to the infirmary and leave Mr. Woolsey alone.  I can give him a full report later.” 

He made an attempt to grab her jacket again to drag her away, but she giggled and side-stepped him. 

“I don’t want to go to the infirmary, Evan.  I don’t like doctors.  Except for Jennifer.  She's okay, when she's not sticking me with needles.  I've had enough needles in my life, I _really_ don't need anymore.  Besides,” EJ reached over to pat his cheek twice and skipped away again, “You’re already leaving out details.  Bobby ran into that branch because he got flustered when I asked him about the cute red-headed microbiologist he’s been not-so-secretly groping during movie nights.  Leo was laughing because Bobby’s ears turn all bright bubblegum pink when he’s embarrassed.  I think it’s kind of adorable, but it makes Leo giggle when he sees it.  I’m sure you understand how hard it is to watch where you’re walking when you are giggling about someone’s ears.  And I do not say odd things, _Major_.  I was only asking the gentleman we were negotiating with if he agreed that your eyes were a wonderful shade of blue.  They really are lovely.  The clear blue of the Lantean sky on a sunny day.  Too bad I think of you as a brother, Evan, you really are _quite_ pretty.” 

Sheppard, who had been grinning since Lorne’s explanation, couldn’t contain himself any longer, “Oh, I agree.  I’ve often thought that the Major, sorry, _Evan_ , is too pretty for his own good.  All the same, you should probably get checked out in the infirmary, Dr. Baran.” 

Lorne rolled his eyes at his CO.  EJ let out full-bodied laugh that resonated in the large room, then bounded over to Sheppard.  She threw her arms around his neck and smiled widely.  His hands automatically went to her hips to steady her. 

“Awwww…it’s okay, flyboy,” she said silkily, “You don’t have to be jealous.  Evan may be pretty, but _you_ …you are bloody _gorgeous_.  Those fascinating eyes that see through everyone and everything; they aren’t quite green, but not quite hazel either.  Some enchanting color in between.  All those flecks of gold and brown in the green and hazel.  Your unruly, dark hair that sticks up every direction,” she carded her fingers through the hair on the back of his head slowly, making it stick up even more, “It can’t possibly be within Air Force regulations, but I’m pretty sure no one says anything because they all agree that it looks…well, perfect for you, really.” 

EJ slid her left hand down his arm to run a single finger over the skin on the back of his hand, still loosely holding her hip, “These strong hands, callused in all the right places from years of holding a gun.  I’ve spent more time than I’m comfortable with imagining how they’d feel against my skin.”  

Sheppard unconsciously tightened his grip on her slim hips as she slowly trailed her hand back up his arm, her touch warm through the fabric of his uniform.  She slid her hand through the hair at the back of his head again. He ruthlessly stamped down the full body shudder that threatened to run through him as she tugged gently on the short hairs. 

She pulled him a little closer to her as she continued softly, “I think I’ve finally got you figured out.  You hide behind that easy-going, flippant attitude, and while that may be part of you, that’s not who you really are.  Beneath that carefully constructed exterior, you have an extraordinary mind and are fiercely protective.  You’re an outstanding leader, even though you don’t think so, and I doubt you ever wanted to be.  You would trade your life for anyone under your command without a moment’s hesitation, and have tried to do so on many occasions, from what I’ve read.  You have a knack for getting into trouble, but that’s okay because you have the ability to get out of it just as easily.  Atlantis talks to me about you sometimes.  You’re her favorite, everyone knows that.  She calls you her ‘Once-Lost Son’.  I won’t call you that though.” 

EJ stood up on her toes and pulled his head down towards her.  Sheppard couldn’t repress the shiver this time when her lips brushed the shell of his ear as she whispered so only he could hear, “Everyone calls me EJ.  But I’m going to tell you something I haven’t told anyone in a... _very_ long time.  I’d rather you call me Emmaline.  That’s my name, my proper name.  Or maybe Emma.  I think I’d like it if you called me Emma.” 

She leaned back and gave him a slow smile as her tongue darted out to lick the center of her full bottom lip.  Sheppard’s eyes flicked down to her smiling mouth.  Some distant part of his brain knew he should be embarrassed at her systematic deconstruction of him in front of the entire gate room.  That same part knew that she had been drugged and most likely didn’t mean anything she was saying.  

His only conscious thought was to wonder how she would taste. 

Everyone in the gate room was watching the two of them standing close, arms wrapped around each other, oblivious to anyone else around them.  The tall medic, who had finished checking the sergeant’s ankle, unfortunately chose that moment to reach over and try to pull EJ away from Sheppard so he could examine her.  The instant his hand clamped tight around her arm, her smile dropped and the blank expression was on her face. 

In the next moment, the medic was face down on the ground, his arm twisted up between his shoulder blades and EJ’s knee pressed hard into his back.  She had Sheppard’s sidearm in her free hand, safety off and inches away from the back of the medic’s head.  Ronon had his blaster drawn and aimed at EJ even before the uniformed men guarding the room raised their guns and took a collective step forward.  She said something in clipped, rapid Spanish and tightened her grip on the arm twisted up behind him. 

“Everyone stop!  Don’t move, please,” Lorne commanded, unclipping his P90 from the front of his vest and handing it to the Lieutenant on his team.  He took one step closer to EJ, leaning down so his face was the same level as EJ’s, but made no move to touch her or get any closer. 

“Dr. Baran?  EJ?" Lorne said evenly, keeping his hands up where she could them, "Hey, it’s okay, you’re on Atlantis.  You’re safe here.  It’s Evan.  Can you look at me please, EJ?”  

EJ brought her head up and blinked rapidly before focusing on Lorne’s face. 

“I need you to let go of Ramirez, okay?  You know him, he’s not going to hurt you.  You're making the men with the big guns nervous.  You’ve been drugged.  No one else is going to touch you, all right?  Let go of Ramirez now,” Lorne continued in his calm, steady tone. 

EJ blinked at Evan several more times before looking back to the man under her on the floor.  She released him suddenly and said something short in Spanish.  She thumbed the safety on and stood up straight, both arms stiff at her sides.  The medic scrambled up and moved away from her.  

EJ closed her eyes and clenched her fists, one hand still tight around the butt of the gun.  She took several deep breaths, said one last thing very quietly in Spanish, then opened her eyes again.

She took a step away from everyone.  She raised her hands slowly, hands completely steady as she quickly released the clip from the gun with an efficiency that could only have come from years of practice.  She pulled the slide back, catching the chambered round as it popped out, before crouching down to set all three pieces gently on the floor in front of her.  She raised her hands, empty palms spread wide, as she straightened and took another step back away from the gun. 

Lorne gave her quick, approving nod. 

“Richard, I apologize,” EJ said stiffly, “That was an inappropriate reaction to this situation.  Tell the men with guns to stand down before someone does something they will later regret.” 

Woolsey hesitated a moment before he motioned to the guards and they lowered their weapons.  EJ lowered her arms, keeping them loose at her sides.  Ronon kept his blaster pointed at her, still wary, as Sheppard stepped over and bent down to retrieve the pieces of his gun. 

EJ continued in short, clipped tones, “I need to be put in a closed isolation room.  Turn the security feed off for the duration.  Limit access to Dr. Keller and a female nurse that can keep her mouth shut and doesn’t speak any eastern European language.” 

“That’s not necessary, EJ,” Jennifer said calmly, “I’ll make sure you are safe.” 

EJ gave a sickeningly bitter laugh that echoed dissonantly in the silent room, “The isolation is not for _my_ protection, Jennifer.” 

“Dr. Baran, I think that-” Woolsey started. 

“I really don't care what you think, Mr. Woolsey,” EJ interrupted harshly, “There is a very good reason my file is so heavily redacted.  Do you remember what Jack said during our introduction?  He said ‘death or worse’.  If you do not do as I say, this City will witness ‘ _worse’_.  It’s either an isolation room with security off or restraints and heavy sedation until the drug passes out of my system.  I would much prefer the former option as the latter will not end well for anyone involved.  Do not ask any further questions.” 

At that, EJ turned on her heel and started walking briskly in the direction of the infirmary, muttering to herself in a harsh language that sounded vaguely Middle Eastern.  Keller sent a worried look towards Woolsey. 

He merely nodded and said quietly, “Do as she says, Dr. Keller.  Let me know when she is back to normal.” 

Keller nodded abruptly and quickly set off after EJ. 

Ronon finally lowered his gun when Keller left. 

Sheppard looked at the surprised faces around the room before he asked, “What just happened here?” 

“How the hell did she get your gun, Sheppard?” McKay asked, mouth gaping open in what he would later swear was surprise, not fear, “I didn’t even see her take it.  I’ve never seen anyone other than Ronon move like that.  And maybe Teyla when she’s pissed.” 

“Shut up, Rodney,” Sheppard cut off his nervous rant. 

“Either of you want to explain?” Sheppard looked between Woolsey and Lorne. 

“EJ doesn’t like to be touched, sir,” Lorne answered quietly.  

“Well,” Rodney snarked, “We’ve established that Lorne is ‘quite pretty’, Sheppard is ‘bloody gorgeous’, and apparently Ramirez didn’t get the memo about what happened _the last time someone touched EJ_.” 

“ _Shut up_ , McKay,” Sheppard snapped, “Ramirez, what did she say to you?” 

Ramirez was rubbing his twisted arm when he answered nervously, “She said ‘Touch me again without my permission and I will blow a hole in your skull.’  Then she apologized for any pain or discomfort she had caused when she let me up.” 

“Major Lorne, please report to the infirmary with the rest of your team for your post-mission evaluations,” Woolsey pulled the front of his jacket down to straighten his uniform, speaking firmly in an attempt to regain control of the situation, “And make sure Dr. Keller gets that sample for analysis.” 

“Yes, sir,” Lorne answered as he and his men started towards the infirmary. 

“Colonel Sheppard, I see no reason to delay your mission.  You will continue as planned,”  Woolsey turned around and headed back up the stairs. 

“We’re going have a talk when I get back, Woolsey,” Sheppard called after him. 

“Colonel Sheppard, sir?” Ramirez asked quietly. 

Sheppard stepped over to where the medic was still standing. 

“She said one other thing, sir.  I’m not sure I heard her right though, because her voice was so low.” 

“What was it, Ramirez?” 

“Well, Colonel,” Ramirez hesitated, “It was weird…it sounded like she said ‘Chaos.  Control.  Protocol.  Isolation is the best option.’  I could be wrong though, she said it very quietly.  She’s not usually like this, sir.  I consider her a friend.  I should’ve thought before I grabbed her like that; the entire medical staff knows not to touch her without asking first.  I don’t want her to get in trouble because of me.” 

“Thanks, Ramirez.  Go get that arm checked out,” Sheppard said, dismissing the young medic as the Stargate ka-whooshed to life behind him.  He stepped back to his waiting team and they walked through the gate together. 


	6. Chapter Five - Explanation

It took two days for the remains of whatever EJ had ingested to completely clear her system.  The entire time she was awake in isolation, EJ talked in a steady stream, but nothing in English and nothing that could be understood by either Keller or the nurses assigned to her.  When Keller finally decided she was no longer under the influence, Woolsey asked to meet EJ and Keller in his office for her debriefing. 

When EJ walked in an hour later, Woolsey and Keller were already there, Woolsey sitting behind his desk and Keller leaning back on the short sofa.  In the one of the chairs on the other side was Sheppard.  EJ stopped momentarily when she saw him, then she waved a hand over the control panel to shut the door and sat in the second chair. 

After EJ was seated, Woolsey looked over to Keller, who sat up straight and with a quick glance at the tablet in front of her began speaking, “I analyzed the sample Sgt. Young brought back while EJ was in isolation.  It looks like it was an herbal derivation of sodium pentothal, what we call ‘truth serum’ on Earth.” 

“That can’t be right,” EJ frowned curiously, “Sodium pentothal doesn’t have that effect on me. Are you positive that’s what it was?” 

“I ran the test myself twice.  The chemical composition is very similar,” Jennifer flipped the tablet around to show a complicated chemical report, “What do you mean when you say it doesn’t have that effect on you?” 

“There,” EJ pointed to the screen, ignoring Jennifer’s question, “I see the difference.  Interesting.” 

“The chemistry differs in that it not only forces a person to speak the truth, it lowers their inhibitions and compels them to talk in general.  EJ couldn’t stop herself from saying anything that she said.  Once she realized what was happening, however, she apparently had the self-control to speak at least a dozen different languages, most of which I couldn’t recognize if I tried.  There are no traces of the drug left in her system and her post-mission physical showed no other issues.  I am declaring her medically fit to return to duty at this time.” 

“Thank you, Doctor,” Woolsey nodded at Keller, “Dr. Baran, Major Lorne tells me that other than this unfortunate drugging situation, the people of PK4-390 seemed friendly and open to trade.  Is that your assessment as well?” 

“We should wait a couple days before returning,” EJ said evenly, “And I would advise that any further teams sent are told not to ingest anything the locals give them.  Their negotiators will have to be told that our people have a bad reaction to their ‘local cuisine’.  It may cost you a bit in the long run but it’s better than dealing with the consequences of Pegasus truth roofies.  I’ll have a full report on your desk by the end of the day.” 

“Agreed,” said Woolsey, ignoring her odd terminology, “In addition, I will have someone else do the negotiating for Atlantis.  I don’t think we will be sending you back to the planet.” 

“Thank you, Richard.” 

Woolsey crossed his hands on top of his desk and leaned forward in his chair, “Now, about what happened with Mr. Ramirez when you returned, Colonel Sheppard is demanding an explanation.  As the military commander of Atlantis, I agree that he is entitled to one.  Although I have a vague idea of what transpired from speaking with Major Lorne and Mr. Ramirez, I think that you are the best person to give him a satisfactory answer.” 

“Would you believe me if I said it was the truth roofies affecting my brain?” EJ tried, half turning her head to face Sheppard. 

“No, I wouldn’t,” one corner of Sheppard's mouth lifted in a half-smirk, “This is the second time you’ve put someone on the floor for touching you.  I reviewed the footage from the gym a couple months ago and the tape from the gate room.  No one moves like that without some sort of training.  Training other than self-defense classes.” 

The ‘no one takes my gun away from me’ was heavily implied in his tone. 

“If I give you an explanation, I must ask that it be kept between the four of us,” EJ started cautiously, eyes flicking towards the ceiling. 

“As long as it doesn’t affect anyone else on Atlantis, I think we can all agree to that,” Woolsey looked between Keller and Sheppard, who both nodded their agreement. 

EJ paused to calculate her response carefully, head tilting to one side as she responded, “Colonel Sheppard is correct, I have received more than the basic self-defense training.  I’ve worked for the government for a long time, so it’s only prudent that I be able to defend myself as necessary.  I did some work for the DOD a while back.  It was a highly classified, but very simple job in Afghanistan.  The people I was going to investigate found out I was coming and took me prisoner to ascertain what sensitive information I had.  They beat me for two days before a SEAL team came to get me." 

She paused once more, eyes flicking again to the spot in the ceiling that Sheppard realized was the security camera before she continued, "I have… _issues_ …with people touching me.  I usually have better control over my reactions.  It seems the drug lowered my control to the point that I didn’t consider what I was doing until after it had already happened.  I am sorry if I’ve caused any problems and I’ll try not to have such a response in the future.” 

Sheppard’s jaw had grown tight while EJ had given her explanation but he remained silent when she finished. 

“Given the circumstances and the fact no one was seriously injured, I think the incident with Mr. Ramirez can be forgiven.  Does that sound reasonable, Colonel?” Woolsey looked over at Sheppard expectantly. 

“Fine,” he retorted, expression unreadable.

“In that case, you may all go,” Woolsey dismissed the group.  EJ stood up quickly walked out the same door she had come in.  Keller followed her out but Sheppard remained in his chair. 

“Was there something else, Colonel Sheppard?” Woolsey asked, uncrossing his hands and turning towards his computer. 

“When she got here five months ago, you said she was in trouble on Earth.  Was this what you meant?  I would’ve understood if you’d informed me about it then.  This might have been prevented if we'd known.” 

“I was given only a partial file on Dr. Baran when she arrived.  The part that I did receive was so heavily redacted that was nearly useless, little more than a date of birth, some basic physical characteristics, and the various organizations she worked for.  There were entire sections blacked out or simply not included.  After our first staff meeting, I asked General O’Neill to see a more complete file.  I was told I don’t have the security clearance to see the rest and _ordered_ , in no uncertain terms, not to pursue it further,” Woolsey hesitated briefly, choosing his words with care when he continued, “I was originally ordered not to share any information about EJ’s previous employment with anyone.  I will say, however, the last time I saw a file as carefully edited as hers, it belonged to General O’Neill himself.  If EJ chooses not to share her past with us, I cannot force her to do so, nor will I try.  I'm sure there are things in your own past, Colonel, that you do not wish to advertise to the public.”  

“I can never quite get a straight answer from you, Woolsey,” Sheppard grimaced and stood.  He headed towards the door, but turned back around in the doorway with a softened expression, “Will she be alright here?” 

Woolsey responded in a quiet, firm voice, “EJ is a resilient and resourceful woman.  From what she has told me, she is quite happy here on Atlantis.  She will be fine, Colonel.” 

Sheppard nodded once and left the office.  


	7. Chapter Six - Touch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song I heard in my head while I was writing the scene in the lab was Elements by Lindsey Stirling. Here's a link- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sf6LD2B_kDQ

Lorne herded Sheppard into the small office they shared two days later to take care of his CO’s backlog of paperwork.  They passed the time mostly in companionable silence, broken only by the occasional odd question about their respective paperwork. 

“Is this requisition for 500 pounds of high-quality organic fertilizer a serious thing?” Sheppard squinted at the form, hoping he had read it wrong and the text would change before his eyes. 

“Yes, sir.  The botany department is trying to establish a permanent organic garden in one of the greenhouses on Southeast pier.  They are hoping to eventually produce their own brand of Atlantis coffee, among other things.” 

“We get copious amounts of coffee delivered on the _Daedalus_ every supply run.” 

“The botanists think they can produce a higher quality of coffee here.” 

“Right.  500 pounds of fertilizer," Sheppard added his electronic signature to the form, "I can’t wait hear what Caldwell says about this.” 

“500 pounds of ‘ _high-quality_ _organic_ ’ fertilizer.  Apparently, that makes a difference.  Sir.” 

Sheppard only rolled his eyes in response. 

Since Lorne did his paperwork on a more regular basis than his CO, he finished well before Sheppard.  He decided since the man was already in the office working, he could be trusted to finish on his own.  He straightened his desk and stood to leave.  He almost made it out the door when Sheppard’s voice stopped him. 

“It says here Dr. Jackson is coming to Atlantis for a week to help with a project involving the Ancient database.  You know anything about this, Major?” 

Lorne stepped back into the small office, “Yes, sir.  It seems that EJ found a section of the database that contained personal entries from some of the former inhabitants of Atlantis.  She thought it would be of great interest to Dr. Jackson and requested his assistance to translate them.  Woolsey approved it last week.” 

Sheppard leaned back in his chair and tapped his fingers on the desk, “How is Dr. Baran doing?” 

“She’s fine, sir.  Last I heard, she gave Ramirez a couple bars of that very expensive chocolate he likes as an apology.  They both laughed the whole thing off,” Lorne answered easily. 

“I meant…how is she personally?  I know you’re friends with her.  I’m not asking as your CO.  I’m just…worried about her after what happened, I guess.” 

Sheppard turned back towards his desk, avoiding Lorne’s gaze. 

Lorne considered his CO carefully before answering, “The first time she went off-world with my team, EJ mentioned that she doesn’t like people touching her.  She thought it was important that I knew, in case anything happened.  She didn’t say why, and I didn’t ask her.  I didn’t think it was any of my business.” 

Sheppard looked over to Lorne, still standing just inside the door, as the younger man continued, “I think she was more embarrassed by what happened in the gate-room than anything else.  Everyone assumes she was under the influence of whatever drug she ingested, but Keller kept the final report on the drug classified to the senior staff members.  I haven’t seen her act any differently or anyone acting strange towards her.  I think she just wants to put the whole thing behind her.” 

“Thanks, Lorne,” Sheppard turned back to his laptop to finish working. 

Lorne nodded and turned to leave again, but paused once more in the doorway, “Hey, Sheppard?  Can I say one other thing?  Not as your second-in-command, but as EJ’s friend, and yours?” 

Sheppard looked up at Lorne again, confused, “Yeah, of course.” 

“EJ said that she doesn’t like people to touch her.  And from what I’ve seen, that’s very true.  She only gets close to Teyla or me when we are sparring.  She won’t spar with anyone else and rarely lets anyone even observe when we’re in the gym.  She only lets Keller treat her in the infirmary and won’t go unless someone forces her.  She moves away from anyone who gets too close when she’s working in the labs.  When she does have to touch someone, even shaking hands, she keeps the contact incredibly brief and distances herself afterwards.  But…” 

“…But?” 

“But the incident in the gate room last week?  Before she took down Ramirez, she had her hands all over you.  You're the only person I have ever seen her willingly get that close to.  She was standing inches away from you with her arms wrapped around you for an extended amount of time.  You were holding her waist and she made no move to stop you or move your hands away.  That’s a big deal for her.  It’s something you should consider.” 

Lorne left the office before Sheppard could respond to the unexpected statement. 

 

_*ChaosChaosChaosChaosChaosChaosChaos*_

Sheppard spent most of the night and the next day thinking about EJ and what he had learned about her in the last week.  Keller had said that the drug had lowered her inhibitions and her control.  But it also made her tell the truth.  So she had meant what she had said to him, even if she wouldn’t have normally said it.  He thought about what Woolsey had said about her past.  It was clear that she had more secrets than she was letting on, and that gave him pause.  He didn’t like being lied to.  But then his mind flashed to what Lorne had told him.  He realized that, for whatever reason, EJ trusted him enough to allow herself to be close to him.  And it was painfully obvious she didn’t trust easily. 

He was so distracted by his thoughts of EJ that Woolsey had to ask for his attention twice in one briefing. 

Sheppard decided he needed to talk to her, alone, if only to clear his mind so he could concentrate again. 

He found her in her lab listening to an [intriguing combination of violin and hip-hop music](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sf6LD2B_kDQ) at a very loud volume.  EJ looked over when Sheppard walked in but quickly turned back to one of the large screens hanging in front of her.  Sheppard stuck his hands in his pockets and took a minute just to observe her.  Her hair was rolled into a low, loose bun at the nape of her neck but there were pieces falling out to frame her face again.  She was wearing a fitted gray-blue uniform t-shirt, collar unzipped low to expose a hint of her collarbones, tucked into her standard black uniform pants.  He smiled when he saw she was in thick black socks, shoes kicked off under a nearby chair.  He sent a quick thought to Atlantis and the music cut off. 

EJ frowned towards him and let out an abrupt, “May I help you, Sheppard?” 

“Just want to let you know, the _Daedalus_ left on time a couple days ago and Dr. Jackson will be here in two weeks,” Sheppard smiled what he considered his most charming smile at her. 

She raised one perfectly arched eyebrow at him, “You came all the way down here just to tell me that?” 

“Sure, why not?” 

She lowered the eyebrow and went back to her screen, “Well, thank you.  You can go back to whatever it is you were doing before now.” 

When he made no move to leave, she turned to look at him expectantly, “Was there something else you needed, Colonel?” 

He took his hands out of his pockets and started towards her slowly, amused when her eyes widened and she took a quick step back, “You call everyone else by their first names.  Teyla, Ronon, Rodney, Evan, Jennifer, even Richard.  But never me.  I’m always ‘Colonel’ or ‘Sheppard’.  Why is that?” 

“I don’t-” EJ began. 

“Yes, you do,” Sheppard interrupted. 

For every step forward he took, she took a step back.  He stalked her until her back was against the table by the wall. 

“I thought maybe it was because you didn’t like me.” 

He took the last step forward, standing so close to her she had to tilt her head back to meet his eyes, “But after what happened in the gate room, I changed my mind.” 

He put his hands on the table behind her, one on each side, effectively trapping her in place, “Maybe it’s that you _do_ like me. Maybe that's how you distance yourself from me.”

“That’s not-” she shook her head. 

“I’m pretty sure it is.  And now I have to ask myself, why would you feel the need to distance yourself from me?  Do I make you nervous, _Emmaline_?” 

“I haven’t been nervous since I was 10, Sheppard,” she said, defiance hiding the quick flash of panic in her beautiful violet eyes. 

“I’d rather you call me John," he whispered her own words back to her, dipping his head to brush his lips against her ear, just as she had done to him in the 'gate room, "That’s my name, my proper name.  I think I’d like it if you called me John." 

He delighted at the uncontrolled shiver that went through her.  He leaned back slightly and watched her patiently. 

Only a short moment later- 

“…John…” 

-his name escaped her mouth as her cheeks flushed a pretty shade of pink and her eyes dropped down to his mouth. 

He took that as all the permission he needed to close the final distance between them and press his lips gently to hers.  Her eyes fluttered closed as he pressed soft, light kisses to each corner of her mouth and back again to the center.  He leaned back and brought one hand up to brush his thumb across her lower lip as she let out another unsteady breath.  He stepped away from her and walked back to the doorway.  He waited there until she opened her eyes again and gave him a stunned look, pupils blown wide, leaving only a thin ring of violet around them. 

“I was right.  I liked that, a lot.  Good night, Emma,” John smiled at her.   

He sent a parting thought to Atlantis and her music started blaring loudly again as he left. 

EJ’s hand came up to rest against her lips where she could still feel his soft touch.  She stood there, staring at the open doorway, for several long minutes before she dropped her hand and shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts.  She moved back towards the screen she was working from and tried to finish her current translation.  After reading the same passage six times without really understanding it, EJ decided her concentration was shot for the day.  She turned the music off and left to change for a run around the City, hoping that would clear her head.  She made it all the way to the transporter before she turned back, realizing she had forgotten her shoes in the lab.  She mumbled something in Mandarin that might have meant “ _distracting, pain-in-the-ass flyboy_ ” as she snatched them off the floor. 


	8. Chapter Seven - Very Probably

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SG-1 comes to visit! The chapter title is a partial quote from the movie "The Secret of Moonacre". It made me giggle when I watched the movie, so I had to include it. And I owe the USMC another apology. I really do like Marines, honest!

The next two weeks passed slowly for EJ.  Sheppard – no, not Sheppard, _John_ , she corrected her thoughts with a quick smile– didn’t attempt to kiss her again, but he didn’t leave her alone either.  He did the quite the opposite, in fact.  He spent as much time with her as both their busy schedules would allow. 

He sought out every opportunity to talk to her.  Stopping by her lab to ask about what she was translating, even though she was sure he wasn’t actually interested in her findings.  Telling her a funny story he had heard from one of his men, making her laugh with his unique brand of humor.  Keeping her company, debating the _real_ uses of the Ancient tech, while she was working with the engineers. 

He was always finding small openings to touch her.  A quick touch of his hand against hers while walking a little too close to her in the hallway.  A knee bumping against hers and staying there during a staff meeting with Woolsey.  His fingers lingering longer than necessary while handing her a cup of coffee in line for breakfast.  A gentle touch across the shoulder under the guise of adjusting her vest before she went off-world to finalize a trade agreement. 

She was becoming frustrated...and _confused_...but mostly frustrated. 

EJ was standing at the bottom of the stairs in the gate room - determinately _not_ thinking about _him_ \- waiting for Dr. Jackson to arrive, when she spotted John coming around the corner.  He grinned at her happily as he stopped next to her. 

“Looking forward to working with Dr. Jackson?” he asked, turning to face the gate and bumping his shoulder easily against hers, standing just closer than necessary. 

EJ huffed out a quick breath, but didn’t move away from him, “Yes, I am. We’ve been emailing for months and I’ve read quite a bit about his involvement with the Stargate program.  It will be nice to finally put a face to the name.  Should be interesting to see if he-” 

A flare of white lit up the space in front of them and three figures appeared in the 'gate room, each with a medium sized black duffel next to them.  A slightly nerdy brunette man in glasses stepped forward. 

“Hello, I’m Dr. Daniel Jackson.  You must be Dr. Baran.  It’s nice to finally meet you,” he offered his hand.  EJ shook his hand briefly, then took a step back to stand close to John again, who gave a nearly imperceptible brush of knuckles against the back of her hand.

“Pleasure to meet you, Dr. Jackson.  Please, call me EJ.” 

“Daniel,” he insisted with a smile.  He gestured to the two people standing behind him, [a shorter woman with low black pigtails, an odd contrast to her shrewd, assessing expression](http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_gCCLfa9SYtM/TJlmIQur5YI/AAAAAAAAAwI/EX8RCkhrwBg/s1600/logo.jpg), and a [taller dark blonde man with an obvious military bearing](http://ilarge.listal.com/image/2525402/936full-stargate-sg--1-poster.jpg), “This is Vala Mal Doran and Colonel Cameron Mitchell.” 

John stepped forward, before EJ could, to clasp hands with Mitchell, “Nice to see you again, Cam.  Didn’t know you two were coming as well.” 

Mitchell gave an easy grin and slapped a friendly hand on Sheppard’s shoulder as he answered in a polite, good ol’ boy drawl, “Well, Sam’s busy with the construction of the _Hammond_ and Teal’c’s busy with meetings of the Free Jaffa Council so SG-1 had a bit of free time. Thought we might come visit your fair City while we weren’t under the threat of impending doom.” 

“Besides,” the dark-haired woman, Vala, stepped forward and linked one arm through Daniel’s, “after what happened to my darling Daniel the last time he was here, we decided he might need someone to keep him safe.” 

Daniel smiled at Vala tolerantly while Cameron rolled his eyes and said, “That too, but I wasn’t going to say anything.” 

“Yes, I’ve heard about Daniel’s special ability to attract trouble,” EJ grinned at the friendly scene before her, “I’m surprised Jack lets him leave the Mountain anymore.  I can show you the three of you the guest quarters you've been assigned now, if you’d like to get settled.” 

“Actually, I’d like to get started on the translation, if you don’t mind,” Daniel spoke in a quick, excited tone, “We’ve had plenty of time to rest on the _Daedalus_.  I don’t often get a chance to glimpse into the personal lives of the Ancients.  I’ve really been looking forward to it.  Should be quite interesting to read.” 

“I completely agree, Daniel.  It’s been hard not to sneak a peek before now.  Let me take you to the lab I’ve been working out of here,” EJ motioned in the direction of the nearest transporter. 

As the two of them started walking away, John heard them start speaking back and forth in Russian, then switch to a laughing Greek just as they were out of ear-shot. 

“Huh,” Mitchell said thoughtfully, “The man finally found someone who has the same taste in ‘interesting’ things as him.  Never thought I’d see that.” 

“Daniel won’t resurface for _days_ ,” Vala sulked, “What am I going to do for entertainment now?” 

Sheppard and Mitchell eyed each other cautiously.  A bored Vala was usually meant missing equipment and mandatory sexual harassment lectures. 

“I’m sure we can find something to keep you occupied,” Sheppard said, “Come on, let’s take your bags to your rooms first.” 

He reached down for Daniel’s forgotten bag and the three of them headed out of the 'gate room. 

 

_*ChaosChaosChaosChaosChaosChaosChaos*_

 

Vala’s prediction had been entirely accurate.  It was, in fact, two whole days before Daniel and EJ finally emerged from her lab.  Even then, it was only lack of coffee and power bars that drove them to the cafeteria. 

When they walked in, EJ automatically scanned the room for John.  She found him sitting at a small table on the balcony with Cameron and Vala.  Vala was telling an energetic story, complete with wild hand gestures, while Cameron and John sat listening with bemused expressions.  John turned his head to meet EJ’s eyes and he gave her an easy smile, which she returned swiftly, before turning his attention back to Vala. 

Daniel and EJ chose a table close to the entrance and continued their conversation in hurried Italian.  After Daniel yawned loudly in the middle of a sentence for the second time, EJ waved him off to get some sleep.  As he was leaving, he stumbled into a large marine in uniform coming into the room.  The marine gave a lip curling sneer when he saw EJ sitting alone. 

Corporal Johnson stomped over to her.  He started talking to her in quiet, angry words, derision clear in his tone. 

“Colonel,” Vala paused in her storytelling as the marine’s words started to grow louder, “It appears there is about to be a problem between the pretty blonde Daniel has been working with and a member of your military.” 

“What?” Sheppard and Mitchell both turned in their chairs to see what Vala was talking about. 

Just as they turned, Johnson gripped EJ’s arm tightly and hauled her up into a standing position, his face red with anger, practically spitting loud words at her now.  Several marines stood, forming a loose ring around the pair, as the conversations around the room began to quiet.  

Sheppard leapt up, almost knocking his chair over, and stomped across the room.  Mitchell stood to follow, but Vala laid a soft hand on his arm to stop him, shaking her head. 

“I asked around and rumor has it,” she said gently as Mitchell sat back down, “shortly after Dr. Baran arrived here, she sent a rather large marine, that one from the look of his face, to the infirmary.  She broke his nose after he grabbed her rear-end.  Then last month, she flattened a member of the medical staff in the middle of the gate room when he grabbed her arm.  She doesn’t tolerate touch well.  Best let Sheppard handle it.” 

Sheppard got to the table in time to see the angry marine raise his free hand to EJ in a threatening gesture. 

“Corporal Johnson!” Sheppard commanded forcefully, “Release Dr. Baran and step back immediately.” 

Johnson gave Sheppard a mutinous look.  Several of the uniformed men gathered behind EJ stepped closer, ready to defend her if necessary. 

EJ looked down to the hand clamped around her bicep the back up to the face of the man attached to it.  The completely silent room carried EJ’s unwavering, steady tone as she said, “Remove your hand from my arm, _now_ , you _uvitende tosk_ , or you will find yourself bleeding profusely all over this floor.”  [Norwegian: ignorant fool]  

Johnson curled his lip up again and scoffed in disbelief. 

Sheppard noticed EJ’s free arm tensing and stepped closer, “I gave you an order, _Corporal_.” 

Johnson scanned the other faces standing close and finding only angry, un-sympathetic expressions on each of them, let go of EJ’s arm roughly to step back from her. 

“Saved by your boytoy again,” Johnson muttered viciously. 

Sheppard moved close enough to EJ to feel the tension rolling off her in waves. 

He addressed the men standing around them, “Escort Corporal Johnson to the brig and ensure that he remains there until further notice.” 

“Yes, sir,” said a furious lieutenant at the front of the group. 

Four of the men stepped forward to surround Johnson and walk him out of the room while the rest returned slowly to their abandoned meals.  The silence that had fallen over the large room during the mostly one-sided argument was broken by the hushed conversations that sprung up as the men left. 

Sheppard stepped between the exiting men and EJ.  He gently put a hand under her chin and tilted her head up until she met his eyes.  He searched her face carefully, then seeing not the fear or panic he expected, but a slow-burning anger, he asked quietly, “You okay?” 

“I’m fine, Sheppard.  I didn’t need your help dealing with that-” she rumbled, body still nearly vibrating with tension. 

“EJ…” he interrupted in an expectant tone. 

“… _John_ ,” she mimicked his tone petulantly. 

“Give me the fork please, Emmaline,” John held his hand out and stared at her, waiting patiently. 

The anger in her expression gave way to a guarded fondness.  She let out a long, exasperated sigh, then slapped the fork she had been gripping tightly into his palm, releasing most of her remaining tension with it. 

“I very probably wouldn’t have stabbed him.  More than twice.” 

When John curled his fingers around the fork and bit back a smile, she continued, “At least I went for the fork instead of the knife.  That would’ve caused infinitely more damage.” 

“Good thing I was here.  Maintenance hates cleaning blood off the floor, then there’s all the forms to be filled out and reports to be filed,” he grabbed her tray, still mostly full of food, balancing her drink on top of it, “Come eat with us.  Vala was telling a hilarious story.  I’m sure you’ll get a kick out of it.” 

John guided EJ to the balcony with her tray in one hand and the other in the small of her back, sending another round of whispered conversations through the room.  He set her tray down and pulled the previously empty chair slightly closer to his before she sat down in it. 

“Everything all right, Sheppard?” Mitchell asked as John resumed his place at the table. 

“It’s under control now.  You will be taking one of my _former_ marines back with you on the _Daedalus_ when it leaves at the end of the week.” 

“Understood,” Mitchell replied easily.  He looked over EJ briefly before turning to Vala, “I believe you were in the middle of a story?” 

“Yes, of course…there was this giant-” Vala started. 

EJ cleared her throat pointedly, “John?  Am I allowed to have my fork back to finish my meal or shall I just use my fingers?” 

John held out the fork he had seized and gave her a measured look, not holding back his smile this time, “Only if you promise to play nice.” 

EJ rolled her eyes but didn’t answer as she reclaimed her fork. 

“Dr. Baran,” Vala gave EJ a mischievous smile, “Were you planning on using that fork on the very obnoxious neanderthal that just left?” 

“ _Vala_ …” Mitchell attempted to quiet her as EJ slid a glance over to John. 

“I have since been informed the maintenance crew dislikes having to clean blood off the floors, and I’d hate for John to have to do paperwork on my account, so I guess we’ll never know,” EJ deadpanned, earning a quick bite of laughter from John. 

“And please call me EJ,” she finished in a much friendlier tone. 

“Oh, EJ darling, we are going to be such wonderful friends,” Vala proclaimed. 

Mitchell and Sheppard shared a terrified look.  EJ and Vala shared matching wicked grins before Vala launched into the rest of her story. 

The rest of their lunch passed quickly.  Mitchell and Vala took turns telling stories about their time with SG-1.  EJ laughed between bites of food at the increasingly silly tales.  After he finished eating, John let his arm rest on the back of EJ’s chair.  When she finished as well, EJ leaned back against his arm and he toyed with the ends of her pony-tailed hair. 

Exhaustion finally caught up with EJ and towards the end of a particularly ridiculous story about Cameron losing his pants _again,_ Vala caught her stifling a yawn.  The dark-haired woman swore Cameron would take care of her empty tray so EJ could go get some much needed rest.  John offered to walk EJ to her room but she insisted that he stay and visit with his friends.  

EJ stood up but hesitated before leaving.  She turned tentatively towards John.  She laid a hand on his shoulder, leaned down to press a soft kiss to his cheek and whispered, “I forgot to say thanks for the rescue.” 

Her cheeks were a soft pink as she straightened and walked quickly out of the hall. 

Sheppard stared after her, a goofy smile on his face. 

“ _Well_ , it seems the rumors were not _entirely_ true,” Vala said slyly, “Our dear EJ is not opposed to _all_ touch.”   

Mitchell kicked Vala under the table as he stacked empty trays in front of himself, “Daniel’s had a bit of a nap now.  Why don’t you go check up on him?  Sheppard has important things to do and doesn’t have any more time for you.” 

“Sure, right, important things,” Sheppard stood and shot a grateful look at Mitchell as he headed towards the door. 

“Cameron,” Vala pouted, “You really aren’t any fun at all, are you?” 

“Nope.  Go play with Daniel, Vala.  He’s lots of fun.” 

“Perhaps I could coax him into some afternoon naked fun-time,” she said wistfully. 

Mitchell stood with the trays, “As long as I don’t have to hear about it.  Ever.”


	9. Chapter Eight - Even

The next day Daniel and EJ were working quietly in her lab when he casually remarked, “So, Vala tells me you were involved in some sort of altercation after I left the cafeteria yesterday.”   

“Sort of,” EJ responded without looking away from her large screen. 

“What was the problem?” he asked curiously. 

“Just a knuckle-dragger who didn’t learn his lesson the first time.  Not a big deal.” 

“Hmmm.  Yes, well, General O’Neill left me a message for you, but I was only supposed to give it to you if there were any problems.  He said ‘both legs’,” he sat back in his chair, eyeing EJ curiously, “You know what he was talking about?” 

“Oh, _that_ ,” EJ answered absently, “He threatened to let John’s marines shoot me multiple times in both legs if I didn’t behave myself.  _Apparently_ , Jack doesn’t have a very high opinion of my self-control.”

Daniel gaped at her open-mouthed as she continued speaking with ease, like she hadn’t just talked about being shot. 

“I think this passage might reference something important.  Could you take a look?” she gestured to a section of text on the screen in front of her. 

Daniel shook himself and stood up to focus on the screen, her bizarre statement pushed to the back of his mind. 

When the _Daedalus_ left on schedule four days later, it was carrying the three reluctant members of SG-1 and a very unhappy Corporal Johnson. 

 

_*ChaosChaosChaosChaosChaosChaosChaos*_

Sheppard was in one of the smaller, private gyms, practicing with Teyla when EJ walked in, bristling with excitement.  John followed her with his eyes as she stood off to the side.  Teyla took advantage of John’s distraction and swiftly disarmed him before knocking him down.  John gave a soft groan from the floor as both women smiled at him pleasantly. 

“Good afternoon, EJ,” Teyla bowed her head in greeting. 

“Hi, Teyla.  How many times does this make?” EJ wondered, gesturing to John getting up off the floor slowly. 

“Only three today.  He has been doing quite well,” Teyla walked over to the small window by EJ, “Was there something you wished to speak with me about?” 

“Actually, I was looking for the Colonel,” EJ grinned at him, “I can wait until you’re finished though, if you want to knock him around a bit more.” 

John ambled gingerly over to the two women to grab his towel and swipe it roughly over his face. 

Teyla looked at the wide smile EJ directed towards John and his answering grin. 

“I believe we can be done for today,” she said sensibly, before picking up her things and leaving, all but forgotten to the other two people in the room.   

“You were looking for me?” John dropped the towel back on the ledge. 

“Yes, I was,” EJ took a small step towards him, “Ask me about my day, John.” 

He looked at her curiously, “How was your day, Emma?” 

“I am having a _fantastic_ day.  Daniel and I found a reference to a very interesting segment of Ancient text while he was here.  I located the referenced section yesterday morning after he left,” she took another small step forward, “Being the absolutely _brilliant_ and _exceptionally_ talented linguist I am, I managed to finish translating the segment early this afternoon.  It was an obscure text regarding alternate power generation systems here on Atlantis.  Since it seemed to be important, I hand delivered a copy of my report to Rodney and Radek in one of the engineering labs just now.  After the gathered scientists wiped the collective drool off their chins, I was _unanimously_ declared ‘Queen of the Geeks’ before they kicked me out to start arguing about new projects and experiments.” 

“Congratulations, Your Highness,” John smiled at her cheerful mood. 

“Thank you,” she closed the final distance between them.  She laid her palms flat against his chest and spoke in a soft, determined voice, “I decided that as ‘Queen of the Geeks’ I could claim any reward I wanted for all of my hard work.” 

EJ grabbed two handfuls of his shirt and pulled him down to crush hers lips to his.  John lifted his hands to her back, molding her body against his as she opened her mouth to his.  He was thrilled find out that she tasted like coffee and something naturally sweet that he couldn’t name.  Their tongues danced and tangled together in a hot, desperate kiss.  When she nipped his bottom lip gently with her teeth, his brain stalled out and he let out a cut-off moan that he would later deny.  She leaned back and smoothed out the wrinkles she had caused in his shirt. 

John opened his eyes and stared at her, saying the only thing that came to his mind, “Are you sure that reward was for _you_?” 

EJ laughed in a warm, throaty tone before pulling neatly out his arms and sauntering towards the door. 

His brain finally restarted as she moved away and he took three large steps to catch up with her quickly.  He took her arm by the arm and spun her back towards him in the open doorway.   He kept his grip loose as he held her close to him. 

“Wait.  You can’t just… _leave_ like that,” he protested. 

She put one palm back on his chest as she smiled sweetly at him, “I’m pretty sure you were the one who left me in my lab a couple weeks ago.  I couldn’t concentrate after.  You made me forget my shoes when I left.  I was only trying to keep things even.” 

“I think we’re more than even now, Emma,” he lifted one hand to cup the back of her neck, pulling her closer to him, “When’s the next day you have some time off?” 

“Four days from now.  I have some work to take care of in the morning, then I was planning on heading to the Athosian settlement in the evening to spend time with them.” 

“I have a mission early that morning but then I’m off-duty for the next 36 hours.  Have dinner with me on the East pier.  The view of the sunset from there is amazing.” 

“I could be convinced to stay on Atlantis for dinner and a sunset view.” 

“It’s a date then,” John kissed her still smiling mouth before he released her, “I’ll stop by your quarters at 1900.” 

“I’m looking forward to it, John,” EJ pulled away from him reluctantly and practically bounced away down the corridor. 

 

_*ChaosChaosChaosChaosChaosChaosChaos*_

 

John was still grinning four days later while he and his team were gearing up for their latest mission.  Even Rodney’s latest bout of whining didn’t faze him. 

“Why do I even have to go on this mission?  I should be finishing the new energy project.  There are still details to be worked out.  If I leave Zelenka in charge, he’s likely to mess the whole thing up and blow half of Atlantis’ systems out.  I doubt he even understood half the report that EJ gave us.  You don’t really need me this time, do you?  The rumors are probably fake anyway.  I mean, how often are those types of rumors true?  Hardly ever.  The MALP didn’t pick up anything unusual, just extremely faint energy signatures.  Why does it have to be our team that goes?  There are plenty of other teams that include acceptable scientists.” 

“You’re a valued member of this expedition, Rodney,” John clipped his P90 to the front of his vest, “And you’re the most likely person to figure out whatever’s there.  We’re going.  The City will survive without you for a couple hours.” 

“Why are you so… _chipper_ this morning?” Rodney’s eyes narrowed as he zipped his own vest, “You hate missions like these.  You think they’re boring and a general waste of time.” 

“I’ve got a good feeling about this one,” John smirked, “Maybe we’ll get lucky this time.” 

When Rodney only continued to glare at him, he continued, “What?  Can’t a guy be in a good mood every once in a while?  Maybe I’m looking forward to a nice, easy mission.” 

Rodney shook his head, “No, I don’t think so.  You’ve been like this for days.  What’s going on with you?” 

“He’s got a date,” said Ronon as he checked his gun a final time, heading out the door. 

The rest of the team followed him to the gate room. 

“A _date_?  With _who_?” Rodney teased, hurrying to catch up to Sheppard. 

The tips of John’s ears reddened as Teyla answered, “EJ has also seemed… _chipper_ every time I have spoken to her in the last couple days.” 

“You have a date with EJ?” Rodney’s mouth fell open, teasing forgotten, “Damn it.  I owe Zelenka 50 bucks now.  I thought it would take you two at least another month to finally get together.” 

“Shut up, Rodney,” John said, no real heat behind the words. 

The team came into the gate room and John sent a quick nod to the gate tech on duty before turning to the gate, “Let’s just concentrate on this mission, okay?  Quick and easy.” 

The Stargate burst to life and John walked through quickly to avoid any further comments.  Ronon gave Rodney a light shove through the event horizon.  Teyla followed through and the gate cut off behind her. 


	10. Chapter Nine - Solution

EJ rapped the knuckles of one hand on the doorjamb to Woolsey’s office as she balanced a tray piled high with food with the other. 

“Richard?” 

Woolsey looked up from the laptop he was typing on to smile politely, “EJ, come in, please.  I didn’t realize it was lunch time already.” 

EJ set the tray down on his desk and starting dividing the food between them as he cleared away an empty space, “I figured you had a lot of work to do from your office today, so we could eat here.  Why don’t you take a break for a bit?” 

“Of course, thank you.” 

EJ pulled one of the extra chairs closer to his desk and sat down to unwrap her sandwich.  Before she could take a bite, alarms started blaring. 

“ _Incoming wormhole_ ,” came over the PA in the office. 

Woolsey looked at his watch with concern, “None of the off-world teams are due to check in for another hour.” 

He stood up and walked past the glass door to the control room.  EJ followed quietly behind and stood unobtrusively off to the side. 

“It’s a radio signal, sir,” said the tech on-duty to Woolsey, “No IDC, but it’s one of our frequencies.  It’s coming from P30-712.” 

“That’s Sheppard’s team.  Let’s hear it.” 

“ _Atlantis, do you read me?_ ” said an unfamiliar voice.  

“This is Mr. Woolsey.  To whom am I speaking?” 

“ _That is not important.  What is important is that we have taken your people: Lt. Colonel Sheppard, Dr. McKay, Teyla Emmagen, and Ronon Dex.  If you wish them returned safely, you have exactly 30 of your minutes to send a representative to this planet to negotiate their release.  You will send a single person, unarmed.  If you attempt to send anyone else or if your representative is carrying any weapons, both the representative and the Lantean team will be killed.  If we do not hear from you in exactly 30 minutes, we will kill one member of the team. I believe Sheppard has volunteered to go first.  Every five minutes you are late after that, we will kill another hostage.  If you attempt to send any type of rescue, a signal will be sent to where the Lanteans are being held and they will be executed immediately._   _Your time begins now._ ”   

The wormhole cut off abruptly. 

“Contact Major Lorne,” Woolsey ordered, noting the time on his watch, “Inform him of the situation and have him ready his team, along with a squad of marines.  I want him in my office in exactly 15 minutes to discuss our options.” 

“Yes, sir,” the tech tapped his radio and began making calls. 

Woolsey went back to his office and stepped behind his desk.  EJ followed him in silently and closed the doors behind her. 

“Richard-” 

“I’m sorry, EJ, but it looks like our lunch will have to be rescheduled.” 

“Richard, I believe I can help you,” EJ stood stiffly in front of the desk.  Her hands were clasped behind her back and her blank expression was in place, “But I need you to contact the SGC and get General O’Neill on a secured channel.” 

“I really don’t have the time for this, Dr. Baran,” Woolsey looked at her cautiously. 

“Mr. Woolsey, you have seen my partial file.  My previous employers were included but the true extent of the services I provided for them was not.  I can offer a quicker and simpler resolution than whatever you have planned.  You gave Major Lorne 15 minutes to gear up and come to your office.  If General O’Neill disagrees with me, this will simply have been small distraction while you were waiting.  Make the call.” 

Woolsey considered EJ carefully and something in her tone had him nodding in agreement.  He walked back out to the control room with her following silently behind. 

“Dial Earth and get General O’Neill on a secure channel immediately.  Tell him it’s extremely urgent,” Woolsey ordered the tech. 

Three minutes later, O’Neill face appeared on the large flat screen, “Richard.  Someone tells me you just _have_ to speak to me right away.  You’re lucky I was visiting the mountain today.”  

O'Neill looked away to the screen showing EJ standing next to Woolsey.  His eyes narrowed as he took in Woolsey’s grim expression and EJ’s stiff posture, “EJ, I told you to behave.  What did you do?” 

“I haven’t done anything _yet_ , sir,” EJ answered calmly, “It’s what I’m about to do that you may not like.”

“General, we have a situation here,” Woolsey began.  He gave O’Neill a brief explanation.  As he talked, O’Neill’s expression became darker, “Dr. Baran said that she had an alternative, but she wished to speak with you first.” 

“Baran,” O’Neill nearly growled at the tense woman, “Please, _tell_ _me_ , that you are _not_ suggesting what I think you are suggesting.”    

“I can’t do that, sir.  As part of our agreement, I promised I wouldn't lie to you.” 

“Don't be a smartass, Baran.  This is a terrible, awful idea.  I thought you went to Atlantis to get away from things like this.  Let the marines handle it.  That’s what we pay them for.” 

“General, any armed men sent through the gate will be walking into a trap.  The man was serious when he talked about killing Sheppard’s team.  If we successfully negotiate the release of AR-1, which I very much doubt we will be able to do, word will get out and all future teams will be at risk.  It will take the _Daedalus_ at least four days to get back here, even if they push their engines, and by then it will be too late for them to do anything.  There aren’t many other options that don't end with mass casualties.  What I am suggesting is the quickest and most efficient way to deal with this.  It doesn’t put anyone else in danger.  I can do this easily.  I am the solution, sir.” 

“Seriously, do the words ‘ _low_ _profile’_ mean something different in your world?  You don’t have to do this.  There are other ways,” O'Neill tried to dissuade her. 

“If it was your team,” EJ responded softly, “your _friends_ , Jack, and you were in my position; what would you do?”

“You already know my answer to that,” a haunted expression came over O’Neill’s face as he answered quietly. 

“I do, sir.  I read your file, remember?  All the good, bad, and in-between.  I trusted you with my life when I came to you, General.  If you order me not to do this, if you honestly believe there is a better solution than me, I will not disobey you.” 

“If I agree to let you do this,” O'Neill said cautiously, “Woolsey will need complete access to your file.  There will be no way to explain this away.  There will be no more secrets.” 

“I understand, sir.  AR-1 should have access as well.  It’s unlikely I can extract the four of them without at least one of them seeing something that will require… _explanation_.” 

“Last chance, EJ,” Jack said firmly, “Are you sure?” 

“This is what they made me for, sir,” EJ answered in the same tone, “I’m sure.” 

O’Neill straightened and put on his ‘General’ face before he turned his attention back to Woolsey, who had been standing to the side trying to follow the intriguing conversation, “Mr. Woolsey, I am upgrading your security clearance as of now.  I would like to formally re-introduce you to Special Agent EJ Baran.  I'm granting her complete command authority over the mission to rescue Colonel Sheppard’s team.  Do _exactly_ as she tells you.” 

O'Neill looked back to EJ, who snapped to attention as he continued his orders, “Special Agent Baran, proceed with the mission to extract Colonel Sheppard’s team.  I am _ordering_ you to give Mr. Woolsey and all members of AR-1 full disclosure of your personnel file, no omissions or exceptions, as soon as you are able.  Bring them, and yourself, back alive.” 

O'Neill made a motion across his neck and the screen cut off a split second before the wormhole.  

Lorne, dressed in full gear, came down the steps from the jumper bay to see a tense, silent room. 

“Mr. Woolsey, Major Lorne, I need to speak with you in Woolsey’s office please,” EJ stated, heading past everyone to the short walkway.  Lorne looked inquisitively at Woolsey, who simply gestured toward the office. 

Both men walked into the office to see EJ standing silently in the middle of the room.  Her casual, fun attitude was gone.  In its place was a completely calm and fully professional demeanor.  She was filled with still, quiet energy, but there were no wasted movements: she was in total control of every part of her body.   

“Mr. Woolsey?” Lorne asked, confused by the change in EJ and the tension in Woolsey. 

“General O’Neill has given Special Agent Baran command authority over the mission to extract Sheppard’s team,” Woolsey said succinctly. 

“ _Special Agent_ Baran?” Lorne said in disbelief, looking at EJ’s blank expression. 

“What do you require, Agent Baran?” Woolsey continued as if Lorne hadn’t spoken. 

“I need Major Lorne on stand-by to pilot a jumper and 10 minutes to retrieve something from my quarters.  Have a medical team on stand-by for when we return.  I doubt AR-1 let themselves be taken without a fight: they may already be injured.” 

“And the Marines?” 

“Won’t be needed.  Have them stand down,” EJ looked at her watch, “Major, meet me in the gate room in 10 minutes.  I’d like to speak with you before I leave.” 

EJ turned on her heel and left the room at a quick jog, footsteps nearly silent in in hall. 

Lorne turned to Woolsey, “Sir?  What’s going on?” 

Woolsey took his glasses off his face to pinch the bridge of his nose in frustration, “It seems neither General O’Neill nor _Special Agent_ Baran were entirely forthcoming with regards to her skills and previous employment.  For now, do as she says.  But keep the marines on stand-by, just in case.” 

“Yes, sir,” Lorne left the office as Woolsey replaced his glasses.  He surveyed the remains of his abandoned lunch and pondered the young woman who was turning out to be much more a mystery than he had anticipated. 

 

_*ChaosChaosChaosChaosChaosChaosChaos*_

 

Exactly ten minutes later, EJ stepped into the gate room.  She was dressed entirely in soft black.  A form-fitting, long-sleeved, crew-necked shirt, zipped up the center to the base of her neck and tucked neatly into the top of her pants.  Slim, pocket-less pants that molded against her skin with a thick nylon belt slung low around her hips.  Cloth boots laced up tight just past her ankles, with flexible, soft soles that made no sound as she walked.  [Short leather gloves with the index finger of each hand cut off to expose skin down to the second knuckle](http://www.imfdb.org/wiki/File:H50S4E02_18.jpg).  Her slim black watch was strapped to her right wrist over the sleeve of her shirt.  Her pale blonde hair was in simple braid, rolled up and pinned to the nape of her neck.  Her radio was in place over one ear and she carried a large, dull silver case with a small electronic screen on one side. 

Lorne was waiting impatiently for her at the bottom of the steps. 

“Special Agent Baran,” he acknowledged stiffly, handing her a standard GDO transmitter. 

EJ handed him the case she was carrying and strapped the transmitter to her forearm, above the slim watch. 

“Major, secure that case in the jumper.” 

“Yes, ma’am.” 

EJ's face softened just slightly, “Evan…I know this is difficult right now, and I’m sorry, but you are going to have to trust me.  I know what I’m doing.” 

Lorne paused before he nodded at her.  

“There are some things you need to know,” EJ said quietly, “First, after this begins, I’ll need you to act as my handler.  You’ll need to monitor and record the entire mission to include in my file.  Woolsey will receive a copy of my complete file when I get back, you can give him the recording with your after-action report.  Second, there may come a point where I won’t answer to my name.  My call-sign is Chaos.  Use that and I will respond to your commands.  Do not _hesitate_ to command me if you think that I have gotten out of control.”   

“Got it.  Anything else?”  

“One last thing,” EJ turned away to face the gate and the blank expression was in place again, “No matter what happens, Major, it is _imperative_ that no one touches me in _any way_ until I give permission _in English_.” 

“Yes, ma’am,” Lorne went up the staircase and headed for the jumper bay. 

EJ tapped her earpiece, “Mr. Woolsey, have the tech put you, Major Lorne, and me on a separate, secure channel and dial the gate.  Major Lorne, start your recording as soon as he does so.” 

Woolsey motioned to the tech seated next to him who hurried to comply with her order.  Exactly one minute before the deadline, the gate sprung to life.  

“This is Atlantis,” Woolsey spoke clearly, “We are sending our representative through now.” 

Woolsey nodded to EJ and she stepped through the gate. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EJ's gloves are meant to be similar to the ones Steve McGarrett (played by Alex O'Loughlin) wears in Hawaii Five-0. Here's the best pic I could find - http://www.imfdb.org/wiki/File:H50S4E02_18.jpg


	11. Chapter Ten - Chaos

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter turned out a bit longer than I intended, but I couldn't find a good place to break it up. Oh well. *Shrugs*  
> Lots of people die in this chapter, but only some of the violence is graphic.  
> Also, if this story were actually a movie/TV show, the song I would choose for this chapter would be, ironically, Spirit of Life by Blackmill. Here's a link - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YeaGUfZM5hs

“ _I am unarmed_ ,” came EJ’s voice over the radio. 

“ _Search her_ ,” said the voice from the original message. 

There was some slight shuffling and another gruffer voice spoke, “ _What’s this_?” 

“ _It’s a GDO transmitter_ ,” EJ answered. 

“ _She’s clean_ ,” said a third voice, " _No weapons._ " 

“ _I don’t need weapons to deal with_ pislik  _like you_.” [Turkish: trash] 

There were several loud thuds, combined with deep grunts and harsh wheezes.  Three shots were fired in rapid succession, then there was a cut-off scream. 

EJ’s voice came over the radio again, smooth and dangerous, “ _Where is the Lantean team being held_?” 

When there was no immediate answer, Lorne heard a loud, quick snap of bone and the original voice exclaimed in pain. 

“ _Answer me or lose the use of your arm, permanently,_ ” EJ warned.

“ _There’s an abandoned village 35 kilometers northeast of the gate.  The Lanteans are in the largest building at the center_ ,” the voice gasped. 

“ _How many men_?” 

“ _There should be four men on the perimeter of the village, two at the door.  There are ten men inside, including our leader_.  _There are twenty of us in total.”_

“ _What weapons are they carrying_?” 

“ _They have guns just like ours.  A couple of the men inside have stolen Wraith stunners that we used to subdue the Lanteans_.” 

A final shot was heard before EJ spoke evenly, “ _Mr. Woolsey, send Major Lorne through with the jumper.  There is a clearing approximately 150 yards west of the gate.  I will meet him there_.” 

“Shall I send a team through to secure the men at the gate?” Woolsey inquired. 

“ _Corpses do not require securing_ ,” she replied as she set off at a jog, “ _Send the jumper_.” 

EJ heard the jumper come through and the gate cut off behind her.  The sun was setting and the planet was getting darker.  Lorne landed in the clearing and opened the ramp to let EJ in. 

Lorne cloaked the jumper as soon as the door closed behind her and took off as she spoke, “There should be a village approximately 35 kilometers northeast of the gate.  Find an out of the way spot to land close.” 

EJ unstrapped the transmitter from her arm and set it on the co-pilot’s seat. She grabbed the silver case from where Lorne had secured it in the back of the jumper and set it flat on the bench.  She removed the glove on her left hand, placed her hand on the screen and said in a pure, vibrant voice, “ _Ego_ _mortem_ _._ _Ego_ _interitu_ _._ _Ego_ _chao._ _”_ [Latin: I am death.  I am destruction.  I am chaos.] 

The locks on the case disengaged and she opened it, hastily replacing the glove on her hand. 

From the bottom left area of the case she removed a long, flat shaped leather sheath.  She attached it to the belt at the small of her back.  She pulled two identical knives from the molded area at the bottom right of the case.  Each was a [solid piece of flat black metal; the double-sided blade was six inches long and deathly sharp; the grip four inches of texturized hard black rubber covering metal](http://i.ebayimg.com/00/s/MTE4OVgxNjAw/z/4CoAAOxyThVTXqpn/%24_1.JPG?set_id=880000500F).  She slid the blades into the sheath at her back, one on top of the other, each handle facing an opposite direction. 

From the same area she had retrieved the knife sheath, she pulled out a [gun holster that also attached to her belt and tightened onto her left thigh](http://glock23gen4.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/Blackhawk-Level-2-Tactical-SERPA-Holster-%E2%80%93-Right-Hand.jpg).  From the perfectly molded slot in the top of the case, she took a [medium-sized dull, black pistol](http://www.westernshooter.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/Glock-22-GEN4.jpg).  She pulled a full clip from the same area and inserted it into the gun.  She flicked the safety on, pulled the slide back to chamber a round, and placed the gun in the holster at her thigh, motions quick and economical.  She repeated the entire set of motions, holster and gun, on her right thigh.  She closed the case, engaging its locks, and secured it in its previous place. 

Lorne landed the jumper just as EJ stepped back into the cockpit. He looked her over quickly, “You going to put on a vest?” 

“No.  A vest will only hamper my movements.  This suit is made of a special non-conductive material.  It will stop any taser or zat blast.  Should work just as well with the Wraith stunners.  I’ve gotten good at avoiding bullets. Can you bring up the life-signs detector on the HUD?” 

The screen blinked to life in front of them. 

“Looks like he was telling the truth.  Four men on the outside, the rest in and around that big building there,” Lorne motioned to a large building in the center of the screen, “Those four life-signs look weaker than the rest.  That’s probably Sheppard’s team.  They could be injured.” 

“Stay here and guide me to the men on the perimeter,” EJ walked to the door at the back and hit the control to open it, “It’ll be quicker that way.” 

She stepped off the ramp silently without waiting for a response. 

Lorne gave EJ swift directions to the closest dot on the screen.  She stepped up to the guard from behind, snapped his neck, and laid him quietly on the ground with one continuous motion. 

“ _One down._ ” 

Lorne guided her to the second man.  EJ yanked his head back, cut a deep slash across his throat and dropped him soundlessly to the ground.  She wiped the blood from her knife on the man’s shirt front and slid it back into its place at her back. 

“ _Two down._ ” 

The third man went down with another snapped neck and the fourth with two fast, successive knife strikes between the ribs to his lung and heart. 

“ _Four down.  There is a cluster of small buildings at the outskirts of the village between the jumper and the building where AR-1 is being held_.” 

“I see it,” Lorne said, still looking at the screen in the jumper. 

“ _Meet me there with the LSD, Major_.” 

“Acknowledged.” 

Lorne saw her dot begin to move swiftly towards the buildings as he stood to retrieve the portable life-signs detector from its place in the jumper.  He exited and closed the ramp behind him, stuffing the small remote in one of his vest pockets.  The planet was almost in full darkness now, only the faded light from three small moons to guide his way.  He jogged quietly to the buildings where EJ was already waiting. 

“Any change inside the building?” EJ asked quietly.    

“No, ma’am,” Lorne turned the LSD towards her for confirmation, “Two outside, ten plus the four weaker ones inside.” 

“Good.  Hold this position.” 

EJ looked up at the building they were using as cover, head tilted to one side, and calculated. 

“Hold your hands out,” she pointed up to the roof, “Give me a boost.”   

Lorne linked his fingers together and EJ put one booted foot in his grip, grabbed the edge of the roof and pulled herself up easily. 

EJ made her way silently across the roofs with a complicated set flips and jumps.  She landed on the largest building and snuck around the edge until she was directly above the two guards at the door.  She stepped off and landed on the taller of the two men, snapping his neck with her thighs before he hit the ground.  The other man tried to bring his shotgun up to aim at her, but she grabbed the barrel with both hands and shoved the butt of the gun hard into his throat, breaking the delicate bones and making him gag for air.  She pulled the gun from his hands completely and swung it in a wide arc to hit him in the temple before he fell to the ground. 

Lorne saw two more dots fading on the LSD as he heard EJ's quiet “ _Six down_ ” over the radio.  He made his way quickly over to where EJ was moving the men away from the door.  He leaned down to remove any remaining weapons from the two men crumpled on the ground and laid two fingers on each of their throats in turn. 

“That isn’t necessary, Major,” EJ whispered, “I assure you, they’re dead.”

He straightened as she withdrew both knives, one in each hand, “Stay here.  If anyone comes through this door that isn’t AR-1 or me, shoot them.” 

Lorne gripped the door handle and at her nod, pulled it open as she slipped through opening like a ghost.   

Lorne heard her soft, even breathing over the radio.  There were several surprised shouts as she met the men inside.  He heard the sounds of fighting - the snap of broken bones, blades slicing through tender flesh, strangled screams - coupled with her steady upwards count. 

After a small burst of gunfire, Lorne heard her sharp intake of breath followed by a single gunshot and her count resumed. 

As her count finally reached fifteen, EJ spoke in the same smooth, dangerous tone she had used earlier, “ _Stand up, slowly.  If you make any sudden moves, I will put a bullet in each of your limbs.”_

She paused to make sure the man was following her directions before she spoke again, “ _Major, the building is secure.  You may come in now_.” 

Lorne opened the door and went through, gun held ready in front of him. 

“ _Move over to that table and sit down,”_ EJ once again addressed the remaining man, “ _Put your hands flat on the table, palms down.  Do not move from that position until I tell you otherwise_.” 

Lorne stepped through the smaller entryway into a large, open room and took in the scene before him.  There were nine broken and bleeding bodies scattered around the room, only one with a neat, round hole in the middle of his forehead.  A fat, ugly man was sitting in one of the two chairs in the center of the room, his hands spread wide on the table in front of him.  EJ was standing across the table from him, her back to Lorne, weapons in their proper places, her arms resting at her sides. 

“Should I bother to check the bodies?” Lorne asked evenly. 

“If it will make you feel secure,” EJ answered without looking away from the ugly man, “There are two still bleeding out, but they will be finished momentarily.” 

Lorne debated for only a second before he came over to stand at the side of the table.  He noticed blood pumping sluggishly from a wound in her right shoulder, darkening the side of her shirt even further, but said nothing. 

“I am going to ask you questions,” EJ addressed the ugly man at the table, “You are going to respond with precise, completely truthful answers.  If you hesitate, tell me a partial truth, or outright lie, I will know and there will be consequences that you will not enjoy.  Do you understand?” 

“Go to hell,” the man spat at her. 

EJ reached out with her left hand and brutally twisted the little finger of his right hand up into an unnatural position, the crack of bone echoing in the large room.   

“I will ask again.  Do not make me repeat myself a third time.  Do you understand the rules?” 

“Yes,” he gasped. 

“That’s better,” she pronounced. 

“There are people expecting to hear from us.  They will come looking for us and you will be the first to die when they get here.” 

EJ snapped his ring finger much like the pinky. 

“That was a lie, no one is coming for you.  Another rule: do not speak unless you are spoken to. Do you understand?” 

“Yes.” 

“Good.  Is the Lantean team being held in this building?”  

“Yes.” 

“Where are they?” 

“They are in the cellar under the back room.  The keys are by the door,” the man jerked his head to the side to indicate a small door at the back of the building. 

“Major, if you would.  We will wait here.” 

EJ waited in silence, never taking her eyes off the man in front of her.  Lorne retrieved the keys from the hook and opened the small door.  EJ heard a loud, “ _It’s about TIME_!” from Rodney and a shortly after that, the team plus Lorne emerged through the door. 

The four members of AR-1 looked around the room before Rodney started rambling loudly, “Where are the squads of heavily armed Marines?  What kind of rescue is this?  What happened to those people?  Are they dead?  What’s going on?” 

EJ turned to face the group, several drops of blood not her own spattered across her face and hair, the wound in her shoulder dripping slowly. 

“EJ?  Is that you?  What are _you_ _doing here_?  _IS THAT A BULLET HOLE IN YOUR SHOULDER_?” Rodney screamed the last part at her. 

“Shut up, McKay,” Ronon said sharply, cutting him off before he could get any louder. 

EJ looked each of them over carefully, her eyes moving over Rodney first, then Teyla and Ronon.  They all had raw, scraped wrists from whatever bindings were used to hold them, and some minor bruises forming, but were relatively unharmed.  Her blank expression slipped as her gaze finally met Sheppard’s, relief coming into her bright violet eyes.  Then she noticed the dried blood from the swollen cut high on his cheek and the split in his bottom lip, a deep bruise already starting to form around it. 

Relief gave way to cold rage. 

Before anyone could react, EJ turned back to the seated man, drew the pistol from her left side and pressed it between his eyes. 

“EJ, stop!” Lorne yelled. 

The man blinked rapidly. 

EJ pressed the gun harder against his skin and he started to whimper. 

“Special Agent Baran!” Lorne tried again to grab her attention, but failed. 

Her finger began to depress the trigger. 

“ _Chaos_ , _STAND DOWN_!” Lorne yelled the order and EJ immediately moved her finger to rest against the barrel. 

Lorne continued in a quieter, but no less forceful tone, “I am ordering you not to shoot him, Chaos.  You’ve killed everyone else.  We need to know why our people were taken and by whom.  Finish questioning him.  We need answers.” 

EJ gave a low growl but nodded once in agreement and holstered her gun. 

“Who do you work for?” she demanded. 

The suddenly terrified man answered quickly, “He’s a commander with the Genii.  I don’t know his name.” 

“The Genii?  Did Ladon Radim have anything to do with this?” 

“No.  The man who hired us wants to take Radim’s position as leader of the Genii.  He is unhappy with the current arrangement between the Genii and the Lanteans.  He believes the Lanteans are only manipulating the Genii leaders.  Radim knows nothing about this.” 

“Was Colonel Sheppard’s team targeted specifically?” 

“No, but we get a bonus for them.  Double our fee if we managed to kill Colonel Sheppard.”

“Did you know the Lanteans were going to be on this planet?” 

“Yes.  We spread rumors on several planets that an Ancestral lab could be found here.  We knew the Lanteans wouldn’t be able to resist sending someone to check.  We’ve been waiting here for them.” 

“What was the purpose of negotiating with Atlantis?” 

“We were supposed to get everything we could from the deal, then kill the prisoners anyway.  We were to implicate Radim and the rest of the Genii to destroy the truce.” 

EJ looked over to Lorne, “Any other questions, Major?” 

“No, ma’am.  I think that covers most everything.” 

Ronon and Teyla had retrieved the team’s gear from the pile at the corner of the room.  Everyone was watching EJ warily as they put their weapons and gear back in place.    

EJ turned her attention back to the scared man across the table, “After we leave, you are going to return to the man who hired you.  You will tell him, and everyone else you meet, until the end of your miserable, pathetic life, what happened here.  You will give them this message: _The Lanteans are off-limits_.  Do you understand?” 

“Yes, ma’am,” the man nodded in relief, finally believing he would survive this encounter after all. 

“I have one final question for you.  The same rules still apply.  Remember, I will know if you lie to me,” EJ paused and took a half step closer to the table, “Were you the person who put the marks on Colonel Sheppard’s face?”   

The man looked from the frightening woman in front of him to Sheppard and back again. 

He swallowed loudly before he answered, barely audible, “Yes.” 

Just as he finished saying the single word, EJ drew a knife with her right hand and drove it through the center of his already broken hand, embedding the blade deep into the table.  Before he could voice a scream of pain, she pulled the gun from her left side, spun it to grab it by the barrel, and brought the butt of it down viciously across his face.  His head lolled to the side, blood oozing heavily from the new wound, and she re-holstered the pistol.     

“Damn it, Chaos,” Lorne stepped over to press two fingers against the man’s neck, “How’s he supposed to deliver a message if he’s dead?” 

“I didn’t shoot him, Major," EJ yanked the knife from the table and his hand, wiping the blood off the blade onto the unconscious man’s sleeve and re-sheathing it before continuing, "I also didn't hit him hard enough to kill him.  He might retain use of that hand if they have decent enough doctors.  It’ll be less than an hour before he regains consciousness, he won't bleed out from this small wound in that amount of time.” 

“Who the hell _are_ you?” Rodney wondered out loud. 

EJ turned to face AR-1, blank expression in place, shoulder once again bleeding sluggishly, and answered in an eerily flat tone, “ _Ego solutio_.  I am…Chaos.”  [Latin: I am the solution] 

“What does that even _mean_?” Rodney couldn’t stop the words tumbling from his mouth, “What did you _do_ to him?”  

Teyla put a hand on his arm and shook her head to silence him. She turned back to EJ, “Your shoulder is injured.”  

EJ retreated several steps as she spoke quickly, “ _Felix percussit_.  The collar bone fractured from the impact, but the bullet didn’t hit anything vital and the blood loss is still manageable at this point.”  [Latin: Lucky shot] 

“Let’s get out of here,” Sheppard spoke quietly, his expression dark. 

Lorne nodded and lead the group out of the building.  EJ waited for everyone to leave, took a deep, steadying breath, then turned on her heel and followed a close distance behind them.  


	12. Chapter Eleven - Home

The walk back to the jumper was subdued.  EJ heard Lorne and Sheppard talking in hushed tones, but paid little attention to their words.  Rodney was complaining loudly to an uninterested Ronon.  Teyla kept glancing back at EJ, concern evident in her face.  Lorne hit the remote to uncloak and open the jumper.  He walked towards the pilot seat, Rodney claiming the seat next to him grumpily.  Ronon took the chair behind Rodney and Teyla the one behind Lorne.  EJ hit the control to close the rear door as Sheppard sat on the bench in the back of the jumper on Lorne’s side. 

EJ retrieved her case and set it on the opposite bench.  She stared at it for a long moment, evening out her breaths before she removed both of her short gloves.  She laid them on the top of the case then reached up to pull several pins from her hair, releasing the braid to tumble down her back.  She dropped the pins onto the bench next to the case.  She used her left sleeve to wipe over her face, accidently smearing the few drops of blood rather than removing them.  She used the same arm to unzip her shirt, revealing her tight, gray tank top, stained down the side with blood.  She sat on the bench next to the case and carefully pulled the fabric away from the wound on her right shoulder to take an assessing look. She let go, re-positioning her right arm tight across her body.  She leaned her head back against the bulkhead and closed her eyes, letting her left hand rest on her thigh over the strap of the holster. 

Teyla pulled the first-aid kit out from behind the pilot’s seat and took out several large gauze pads.  She moved towards EJ, but Lorne grabbed her arm roughly to stop her. 

“NO,” he commanded. 

Teyla looked from Lorne’s uneasy expression to EJ’s injured shoulder. 

Lorne continued in a quieter tone as he released Teyla, “Don't.  She said no one should touch her until she says so in English.” 

When Teyla took another step forward, EJ’s left hand moved to her gun. 

“ _Ne tetigeritis_!” EJ said harshly, palm gripping the butt of the gun still in the holster.  [Latin: Do not touch.]  

Although she did not understand EJ’s words, Teyla understood the tone in which they were spoken and replaced the gauze pads in the kit. 

When Teyla sat back down, EJ moved her hand back to its previous position and continued her quiet, even breaths. 

Lorne powered up the jumper and took off towards the 'gate.  Once in range, he dialed the sequence of symbols for Atlantis. 

“This is Major Lorne.  I have Colonel Sheppard’s team on board.  They are alive and relatively unharmed.”    

He hit the buttons on his transmitter to send his personal IDC to lower the shield.     

 _“Thank you, Major_ ,” Woolsey’s voice came over the radio, “… _And Special Agent Baran’s status_?” 

Lorne paused before answering, “She’s here, sir.  Also injured.” 

Sensing that was the only response he would receive over the radio, Woolsey replied, “ _Very well, the shield is down.  There are medical personnel standing by in the jumper bay_.” 

“Yes, sir.” 

Lorne guided the jumper through the 'gate and up through the 'gate room into the jumper bay.  He landed easily and opened the rear hatch.  Sheppard and his team followed Lorne out and handed their gear off to waiting uniformed men while the medics began checking over their injuries.  EJ made no move to get up, her position unchanged from when she first sat down.  

Seeing EJ injured in the back of the jumper, Keller stepped forward.  She made it two steps onto the ramp before she heard the quiet ‘ _snick’_ of a gun being drawn. 

EJ had her left arm extended, gun pointing at Keller’s chest.   

“ _Propius_ _non_ _venire_ ,” EJ said severely, head still leaning back, eyes still closed.  [Latin: Come no closer]

Keller stopped immediately but didn’t back up.   

An tense look came over Sheppard’s face.  He pulled away from the young medic who was fussing over him.  Lorne tried to grab his arm to stop him, but Sheppard kept moving.  He stepped in front of the gun and wrapped his hand gently around EJ’s wrist. 

Her eyes flew open. 

EJ looked between the hand holding her suddenly trembling wrist and Sheppard’s face, blinking rapidly as the blank mask slide off her face, confusion and pain coming into her wide, violet eyes. 

“Special Agent Baran,” Sheppard commanded, voice soft but firm, “Stand up.”  

She did so uncertainly, her right arm held immobile across her body, her left still extended, the gun almost touching the center of John's chest now.  He let go of her wrist. 

“Disarm,” he ordered quietly. 

EJ stared at him a moment longer, emotions flying over her face too fast to be identified, before lowering her arm and putting the gun quietly back in the holster.  She turned towards the case and spoke the words to disengage the locks.  She placed each weapon back in its proper place, her gloves on top of the holsters.  Her movements were stiff when she had to use her right arm.  She re-engaged the locks and turned back to John. 

“ _Et lædere. Habui. Dole_ _o,_ ” EJ spoke so quietly John could barely hear.  She saw the mild confusion on his face and realized that she hadn’t used English.  She shook her head as she began again, “They _took_ you-your team.  I had to get you back.  I was…I _am_ the solution.  There was no other way.  _Placere.”_  [Latin: He hurt you.  I had to.  I am sorry.]  [Latin: Please] 

John heard the ache in her voice and lifted a hand to cup her blood-spattered cheek before he could stop himself, “Emma…”  

EJ swayed into his touch. 

“ _Placere_ , John,” she repeated softly, “ _Faciendum est_.”  [Latin: You must understand.] 

Sheppard dropped his hand, forcing himself to remember his duties, and straightened to his full height. 

“Special Agent Baran, you are to report to the infirmary immediately,” Sheppard ordered loud enough for everyone behind him to hear, “You will let Dr. Keller and her staff do whatever they need to do and you will not give them any problems.  Go.”

He stepped to the side to let EJ pass. 

EJ sent a final, pleading look to Sheppard before she put her blank expression back in place and picked up the case. 

She stepped past him to address the woman still standing on the ramp, “Dr. Keller, please don’t sedate me unless it’s absolutely necessary.  Last time I woke up from sedation, two people died and four were seriously injured.  I don’t want to hurt anyone.” 

“Not unless it is absolutely necessary,” Jennifer agreed calmly.  She gestured to a waiting gurney, but EJ shook her head. 

“ _Possum ambulare_ ,” EJ handed the case to Lorne, “Major Lorne, please see to it this gets someplace safe.  Don’t let anyone attempt to open it.  It’s rigged to poison anyone beside me that tries.  I don’t have access to more than one dose of the antidote here on Atlantis.”  [Latin: I can walk] 

“I’ll take care of it, EJ,” Lorne gripped the case tight. 

EJ used her left hand to pull a small, round object off the top of her zipper and held it out to Lorne. 

“Visual recording,” she explained, dropping it gently into his open palm, “I’m sure Dr. McKay or Dr. Zelenka can figure out how to dump the data from the device without damaging it.  Please make sure the file goes _directly_ onto the tablet in Mr. Woolsey’s office that contains my file and then return the recorder to my quarters.” 

The people still gathered behind the jumper parted to let the two women walk through. 

As soon as EJ and Keller were completely out of sight, Sheppard turned around fully and saw everyone still standing nervously around the bay. 

“Everyone out, NOW!” he shouted. 

The bay was quickly emptied of everyone but Lorne and Woolsey, who had arrived shortly after Sheppard stepped in front of EJ’s gun. 

“No more evasions, Woolsey,” Sheppard advanced on the older man furiously, “I want to know _exactly_ what is going on.  You want to tell me why _Special Agent Baran_ was sent after us with only Major Lorne as back-up?  Lorne said there were twenty men on that planet.  _Nineteen_ of them are dead.  The one who did survive _may or may not_ have lost the use of one of his hands.” 

“Sir…EJ was only...” Lorne tried to interrupt his CO, but Sheppard talked over him. 

“Keep your mouth _shut_ , Major.  You saw what just happened.  Who is she?  What the _hell_ is she doing in my City?” 

“If you are quite finished, Colonel,” Woolsey said calmly. 

Sheppard continued to glare at him angrily, but didn’t say anything else. 

“Major Lorne, please take Agent Baran’s case to her room.  Deliver the recording device to Dr. Zelenka.  Tell him to gather what equipment he will need to retrieve the data and meet me in my office immediately.  Then report to the infirmary and keep an eye on Agent Baran, discretely.  She is not to have visitors until I speak with her first.  Arrange for someone to take your place when you need to leave, but tell them to keep their distance,” Woolsey ordered, voice still calm. 

“Yes, sir,” Lorne nodded at Woolsey and retreated without meeting Sheppard’s eyes.  

“Colonel Sheppard,” Woolsey continued in his placating tone, “I have little more information than you do at this point.  After we received the message from your captors, Dr. Baran requested I contact General O’Neill before we sent a team to retrieve you, saying only that she had an alternative.  I was informed of her status as a Special Agent when General O’Neill granted her command authority over the mission to extract you.  He has ordered her to give me and all members of AR-1 complete access to her files.  As soon as she is released from the infirmary, I will insist that she follow that order.  Until such time, I would advise you to leave the matter alone.” 

“I don’t want her left alone,” Sheppard said with a fake calm, trying to reign himself in. 

“I have already ordered Major Lorne to arrange a discrete guard for her.  Dr. Baran has been extremely helpful to this expedition and she did just rescue your team from that planet.  I believe a single guard will suffice for now, don’t you?”    

Sheppard turned away from Woolsey and headed for the door, “One week, Woolsey.  Then I get answers, no matter what.” 

Woolsey straightened his uniformed jacket after Sheppard left. 

“Answers, indeed.” 


	13. Chapter Twelve - Shadow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Secrets Revealed!

EJ was a model patient the four days she spent in the infirmary.  She was quiet, only speaking to answer medical questions from the staff.  Teyla came into the infirmary late the first evening, but she was stopped by Lorne at the entrance.  Lorne had a quick conversation with her, then Teyla gave a pained look at EJ before she left.  There were no more visitors after that.  On the morning of the fifth day, Keller announced that EJ was allowed to leave the infirmary as long as she kept her right arm immobile in the sling she was given. 

EJ walked straight to Woolsey’s office, her guard following quietly at a distance.  She knocked on the doorjamb when she arrived, but waited for Woolsey to acknowledge her before she entered. 

“Dr. Baran, come in,” Woolsey set aside the tablet he was working on and motioned her in, “Would you like to sit down?” 

“That won’t be necessary,” EJ stood at attention in front of his desk, “I came to ask if you could arrange a time for all members of AR-1, Major Lorne, Dr. Keller and yourself to meet me in the briefing room.  If you will bring the tablet with my file, I will comply with General O’Neill’s full disclosure order at that time.” 

Woolsey tapped some keys on his laptop to check the complicated schedule before he answered, “There is a two hour block of time at 1300 today.  Will that be sufficient?” 

“Yes.  Thank you, Mr. Woolsey,” EJ left the room without another word. 

Woolsey tapped his radio and began making calls to arrange the meeting. 

 

_*ChaosChaosChaosChaosChaosChaosChaos*_

EJ was already sitting in the briefing room in front of the large flat-screen monitor when everyone arrived shortly before 1300.  Sheppard was the last to arrive as they filled in the empty seats around the table.  Woolsey handed EJ the tablet with her file.  She typed in his password, causing him to frown, then opened a screen he hadn’t seen before and typed in a set of very complicated codes.    

EJ spoke calmly into the room, “Atlantis, seal this room.  Turn off all surveillance feeds, audio and visual, and cut off all radio communication, except for the emergency channel.” 

The doors pivoted shut and they heard locks engage as she stood up. 

“What I am about to reveal to you is beyond classified.  It is dangerous.  If any of this information goes beyond this room my life, and yours, will be forfeit.  I would like to give you all a final chance to leave.” 

When no one moved from the table, she connected the tablet to the large screen behind her.  She tapped a photo on the tablet and the image of a dark-haired, balding man in lab coat and thick glasses came onto the big screen. 

“It began almost 24 years ago with a geneticist named Dr. David James.  He was recruited by a man employed by the government to engineer a new type of spy.  The man wanted alter a person’s DNA to make them smarter, stronger, and faster.  The project was codenamed ‘Shadow’.” 

Pictures of a faded file with the words ‘Project Shadow’ typed in neat black letters across the top of each page flashed on the screen. 

“Dr. James experimented on a variety of volunteers from the military, mainly men in Special Forces.  Many of the serums he created worked on the volunteers, but only for a short amounts of time, and never without harmful side effects when they wore off.  The modifications he made never lasted longer than a couple days.” 

The image of a beautiful young woman with glass green eyes and dark blonde hair wearing a simple white sundress came across the screen next. 

“A year into the project, Dr. James married his lab assistant, Dr. Maria Baran.  He was deeply in love with her.  Dr. Baran was a widow with a five year old daughter at the time of their marriage.  The child was very intelligent, but physically weak.  She could barely stand for any amount of time.” 

Another tap on the tablet and there was a picture of the woman holding a small child with pale blonde hair and pale lavender eyes. 

“Dr. James realized that some of the formulas he had created could be used to help the child live a more normal life.  He began sneaking some of the experimental drugs out and injecting the child.  After the first treatment of the physical serums, the child showed obvious improvement and she suffered none of the harmful side effects that had appeared in the volunteers.  After the second treatment, Dr. James realized the genetic modifications had become permanent on the child.  Overall, the child received five treatments of the physical serum and two of the mental.  In the next three years, none of the program volunteers showed any signs of the same permanent modifications, no matter how many times Dr. James improved his formulas.” 

An image of the little blonde girl laughing and running towards her smiling mother sitting on a picnic blanket in short grass was on the screen now. 

“Three years after Dr. James first injected the girl, he was discovered.  The subjects were being given a final test of sorts: they were to retrieve a file from the center of a large maze and exit without being caught in twenty minutes or less.  There were several traps and men posing as hostiles at various points in the maze.  Half the subjects couldn’t make it through the maze without being discovered or trapped.  The rest were unable to complete the mission without using over double the time allotted.”    

Paused black and white security footage appeared on the screen next. 

“The child was visiting her parents at work that day.  After the last soldier failed the test, she slipped out of the observation room while the scientists were arguing with the man overseeing the project.  Twelve minutes later she returned with the file and handed it to her step-father.  The government man was stunned.  When asked to explain, the child told her parents she thought the file must be important because everyone was fighting over it, so she went to get it for them.” 

EJ tapped the screen and the security footage started up.  It showed a little girl with pigtails, wearing denim shorts and a flowered tee-shirt, walking into a large, white room.  She silently pulled a high table to the edge of the maze, then dragged over a tall metal stool and wrestled it on to the top.  She sat down on the floor to un-tie her tennis shoes and take off her socks.  She tucked each sock neatly into the corresponding shoe and placed them neatly under the table.  She climbed onto the table top, then pushed the stool against the maze wall.  She climbed up onto the stool and looked up to the top of the wall with a familiar head tilt.  Then she jumped high to grab the ledge.  She pulled her little body up and balanced herself on the wall.  She began making her way towards the center of the maze, leaping gracefully from wall to wall, stopping at various points with a head tilt as she looked at the maze below her.  When she reached the center, she executed a tight forward flip to land on the table with the file.  She picked it up and climbed down from the table to exit the maze.  She neatly avoided all the traps and silently made her way past every man stationed in the maze.  When she reached the entrance of the maze she walked back to the table, set the file on the floor, and sat down to put her shoes back on.  She pulled the stool down to move it and the table back into their original positions.  She picked up the file and disappeared from the maze room, only to reappear a minute later in the observation room. 

EJ, who hadn’t looked at either screen while the footage was playing, spoke again once it ended, “The man from the government demanded to know how an eight year old girl was able to succeed in something that highly trained and genetically modified soldiers were not.  Dr. James confessed to giving the girl the serums three years prior and that the effects were permanent on her.  Recognizing the potential benefits of training spies from such a young age, the overseer of the project quickly changed his focus.  The military volunteers were ‘ _disposed of_ ’ and he began plucking children out of orphanages across the country.  The child was taken to a different facility far away from her parents to begin intensive training.”   

Another picture of the girl came onto the screen.  She was a little older and wearing plain grey sweats.  Her hair had been cut very short and she was no longer smiling. 

“Over the next two years, the child was subjected to harsh physical and mental conditioning.  There were extensive tests performed to test the limits of her abilities.” 

A swipe of EJ’s finger and several videos came on the screen at once.  Each showed the child being tested in a different way, mostly physical, with a few IQ and mental tests included. 

“Dr. James and Dr. Baran tried to recreate their success with the other children in the project, but were unable to do so.  Dr. Baran’s daughter was the unique and sole successful subject of Project Shadow.  Six years after it first began, the project was terminated.  Dr.  James and his wife Dr. Baran were in an… _unfortunate_ plane crash on their way to the base where their daughter was being held.  The man who had originally commissioned the project arranged for all the remaining scientists to have similar ‘ _accidents’_.” 

Several copies of news articles and obituaries flashed across the screen. 

“The girl was sent with her trainers to study linguistics at Harvard.  She completed her doctorate at age 13.  She was then sent to study cryptography at MIT and further her skills.  She received her second doctorate three years later.” 

Copies of two diplomas, both with different names crossed the screen. 

“Exactly one week after her 16th birthday, she finally saw the man responsible for Project Shadow again.  He introduced himself only as ‘Lynch’.  He gave her the call-sign ‘Chaos’ and her first mission.  She was sent to eliminate a man and his wife who were selling low-level government secrets to other countries.  48 hours after Lynch gave the girl the mission, the man and his wife were found dead in their home.”    

The screen now showed crime scene reports and photos of a couple laying in their shared bed.  The couple could have been asleep, except for the neat, round hole in the middle of each of their foreheads.   

“That was the first time I killed for Lynch,” EJ said coolly, “but it was not the last.  I spent the next six years doing everything he told me to do.  Sometimes that meant stealing things that no one else could get to.  Sometimes that meant seducing men or women that Lynch wanted information from or to blackmail.  Mostly that meant eliminating the targets he chose.” 

She swiped a finger across the tablet, going through files quickly.  More photos of random faces passed quickly across the screen.  There were links to several thousand audio and visual files. 

“About a month after I turned twenty two, Lynch got very ill, an extremely aggressive form of pancreatic cancer.  Before he died three months later, he gave several different men in the government my details.  After that, I didn’t have just one handler, I had six.  I was given covert operative status in each of the organizations:  CIA, FBI, NSA, DHS, DEA, and the DOD.” 

Copies of IDs from the six organizations, all with EJ’s picture and each with a different names on them passed slowly on the screen. 

“I specialized in infiltration, extraction, and close-range eliminations.  I became the solution when there was no other.  When they couldn’t or _wouldn’t_ send anyone else, they sent me.  I became a whispered secret in the halls: _The solution is Chaos_.  I spent the last five years of my life doing everything each of my handlers ordered me to do.  The day before I came to Atlantis, I was resting in a safe-house between missions.” 

EJ selected one of the last files on the tablet.  Crisp, colored footage came onto the screen showing EJ asleep in a sparsely decorated room. 

“Six agents from Iranian Intelligence broke in and tried to apprehend me.  That’s how I received the injuries you saw when I arrived.” 

The footage moved forward and there was a short but intense fight between EJ and the six larger men. 

“One of them managed to slam his fist into my jaw twice, the second time hard enough to bruise.  After the first four were dealt with, one of the last two got desperate and pulled a knife.  He sliced my arm while I was occupied with the other.  I took the last two down then packed what little I had there and left.” 

The footage ended with EJ glancing up to where the camera was positioned, then her hurling the knife she had taken from the last man, still dripping with her blood, at the lens.  There was only black and white static after that. 

“The only people who knew I was in that exact place at that exact time were my handlers.  One of them told the Iranians I was there.  One of them betrayed me.  It was the only way they could have found me.” 

A quick look of fury passed across EJ’s face before she spoke again, “I found about the Stargate program a couple years ago when I was on loan to the NID hunting down members of the Trust.  I had a contingency plan prepared.  I got my things from storage and went to see General O’Neill.  After he got over the annoyance of me having broken into his house in the middle of the night, I told him my story.  He agreed to help me and I came here.” 

EJ finally looked around the room to the people sitting silently around the table, “I am sorry I couldn’t be completely honest with you, but if someone were to find out about me and my connection with Project Shadow, my life would be over.  Truthfully, had the situation on P30-712 not arisen, I most likely would never have revealed any of this.  With everything I have done in the past eleven years, every place I have been, I’ve made many enemies.  Half the governments in the world would execute me without a second thought.  The other half would keep me locked up to perform medical experiments on me to try to duplicate Dr. James’ serums.  If I can no longer trust my handlers, there is no safe place for me on Earth.  I hope that I’ll be allowed to stay here, but I will understand if you want me to leave.  I will leave the decision to the seven of you and I’ll abide by whatever you choose.  I will make the complete record of my file available to you, but I must stress that you _cannot_ share the information contained with anyone else.  I can answer questions now, if you have any you would like to ask.”   


	14. Chapter Thirteen - 356

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to be friends with Lorne!  
> 

The room was quiet as EJ unplugged the tablet from the screen and sat back down.  She adjusted her arm in the sling as she waited for either a dismissal or questions. 

“When you say genetic modifications,” McKay started hesitantly, “What do you mean exactly?” 

“My DNA was slightly altered to increase my natural strength, stamina, speed, and flexibility. My reaction times are half the average person's. My body heals five times faster and much better than a normal person.  That’s why I have so few external scars even after all the times I have been injured.  I also have 20/10 vision.  I was considered intelligent before the modifications so there were only small changes made to my mental abilities.  I am able to process large amounts of information easily.  I can make connections where others might not.  I have an eidetic memory which makes it easy for me to learn and recall things.  I earned both my PhDs while still in physical training.” 

“And when you say ‘physical training’?” McKay prompted. 

“I have been required to run a minimum of ten kilometers every morning since I first began my training.  I have been instructed in various forms of hand-to-hand combat since they took me at age eight.  I started with close-range weapons at age ten; knives, swords, various other non-bladed weapons.  Long range weapons were added at thirteen; handguns, large caliber rifles, bows, even the occasional rocket launcher.  As new weapons were invented, I would be required to learn them.” 

“So if you and I were to fight,” Ronon asked from his relaxed position in his chair, “who would win?” 

EJ tilted her head in that calculating way before she responded, “In a fair fight or a real one?” 

“There’s a difference?” McKay interjected. 

“Both,” Ronon said, ignoring him. 

“In a fair fight, you would most likely win.  In a real fight, I would,” EJ answered thoughtfully. 

“I don’t understand the difference,” McKay said as Ronon looked at him with annoyance. 

“In a fair fight, you’re trying to disable the other person before they disable you," EJ explained, "Ronon is physically stronger and bigger than I am, but I’m quicker and more agile.  He can take more damage than I can, but I can recover faster.  He is, no offense Ronon, a blunt instrument that beats on his opponent until they give in.  I am a precision tool, trained to inflict the maximum amount of damage in a minimal amount of time.  In a real fight, the stakes are different.  You are fighting for your continued survival.  Because of that, I would come out on top.  I do not fight to win, I fight to kill.”   

Ronon nodded in understanding, unoffended by her description of him, as McKay goggled at her explanation. 

Lorne was next to speak, “So why did you ask Teyla and me to spar?  We couldn’t have provided much of a challenge for you.”

“I am used to hiding my skills from everyone in order to protect my identity.  I held back so no one would ask questions.  I asked Teyla to teach me the _bantos_ rods because they are similiar to a fighting style called escrima on Earth and I wanted to learn the differences.  I asked you to spar with me because you are the first person I've ever considered a friend and I enjoyed spending the time with you.” 

Lorne blushed a little but continued, “Why did you ask me to be your handler for the mission to rescue Sheppard's team?  It would’ve been safer for you to go alone.  You had a recording device of your own.  You didn’t need me for that.  I didn’t do much besides follow you.” 

“It would’ve been safer for _me_ , but not for anyone else,” EJ said quietly, “As you will recall, you had to stand me down at one point.  I was afraid that I would be unable to control myself in this particular situation.  I needed someone who could keep a level head, no matter what happened.  From what I had read of your file at that point, you would be able to provide that for me.” 

“You read his file?” McKay interrupted again. 

“I’ve read all your files,” EJ shrugged, “I have the highest security clearance in this room.  Anything I couldn’t access myself, I had a contact in MI6 acquire for me.” 

McKay scowled, but refrained from further comments. 

Teyla had been watching EJ with a calm curiosity, “They experimented on you as a child?” 

“Yes.”  

“I do not understand why a child, a young woman would be a better choice.” 

“I was only eight when they took me.  Every moment of my childhood after that was spent training and preparing.  They molded and shaped me into a form of their choosing.  They taught me to believe I was a tool, a weapon to be used.  I had precious few memories to compare.  I didn’t know any better.  Any child brought up that way would be easy to manipulate.  I thoroughly believed that was what I was made for, so I did anything I was told without question.” 

EJ ignored the look of sadness that swept over Teyla’s face as she continued, “After my first few missions, I realized that I also had an unforeseen advantage.  Everyone expects spies and assassins to be big, scary-looking men with big guns.  No one suspects a young, pretty girl with an innocent smile and a hidden knife.” 

“You went to General O’Neill to help you get to Atlantis,” Woolsey said. 

It was a statement, not a question, but EJ answered anyway. 

“Yes.  As I said, several years ago, I was involved in the hunt for members of the Trust.  When I first learned about the Stargate program, I accessed several SGC files looking for information.  I came across Jack’s name on several…interesting reports.  I used my clearance at the DOD to access his un-restricted file.  After reading it and seeing the decisions he has made throughout his career, I decided he would be the most likely to help me should I ever need it and not use my information for his personal or political benefit.” 

“Why Atlantis?” A question, this time, from Woolsey. 

“It was the most secure place I could find,” EJ answered honestly, “Atlantis is in a completely different galaxy with only two known ways of getting here; the F304s and the Stargate itself.  Both are under the control of the SGC and the IOA, neither organization had any previous access to my background.  The SGC has the strictest security protocols on the planet so the chances of anyone finding me through them are slim.  The IOA was a little more difficult.  I had to call in a favor from my MI6 contact to get a fake background file for myself, including the orders I had General O’Neill sign sending me here, inserted into their systems without their knowledge.  I felt I could do some good here that wouldn’t require me to hurt anyone.”

Woolsey frowned at the statement about the IOA, but made no comment about it, “Major Lorne said in his debriefing that you were wearing unique clothing when you went to extract Sheppard’s team.  I seem to remember something similar in the SGC files.” 

EJ raised an eyebrow at Lorne before answering, “Yes.  That is actually a relatively new acquisition through the CIA.  My suit is based on the material used in the Kull warriors’ armor.  I didn’t ask the specific details, but the basic idea is that entire suit; shirt, pants, and boots, are made from a special non-conductive material.  It completely dissipates any type of taser or zat blast.  As I discovered last week, however,” she gestured to her arm in the sling, “It only stops about 80% of the blast from a Wraith stunner.  If anyone else were wearing it and got hit with a stun blast, it would disorient them for a minute, but they wouldn’t lose consciousness completely.  For me, it slowed my reactions enough that one of the men was able to get in a lucky shot to my shoulder.” 

“And the recording device?” Woolsey inquired. 

“A gift from my contact at MI6,” the corner of EJ’s mouth twitched up in a half-smile, “He designed it several years ago.  It’s smaller and more durable than anything I was using before.  It is undetectable by any sort of scan, passive or active. I’ve found, on more than one occasion, that it’s prudent to have a recording to back-up my reports.  No, you may not experiment with it, Rodney,” EJ held up a hand to forestall the words she knew were coming out of his mouth, “It is one of a kind and irreplaceable at this point.” 

“I asked you once how you knew what effects sodium pentothal had on you,” Keller stated, “ and at the time you didn’t answer.  Will you tell me now?” 

“I know the effects because I was trained, very early on, how to resist them,” EJ said evenly, “At age 15, I had the same basic SERE training the US military receives, plus further training they do not get.  I know what effects almost every drug on the planet have on my body and how to resist or manage the majority of them.  I obviously didn’t factor in encounters with Pegasus versions of the drugs.  I usually maintain a strict level control over my body when I am interacting with others.  For that control to have been lowered without any forewarning...Carlos got extremely lucky.  You all did.  The results could have been devastating.” 

“How devastating?” Rodney’s curiosity forced him to ask. 

“Colonel Sheppard’s sidearm of choice is a Colt M1911A1 pistol,” EJ recited swiftly, “with an 8+1 aftermarket standard-size magazine.  That means I had nine shots to eliminate the more serious threats.  Although I usually carry the slightly smaller Glock 22C, Sheppard's .45 is more than adequate to extricate myself from the gate room and find a more defensible position in the City.” 

“And for those of us _not_ in the military?” Rodney rolled his eyes. 

“At that time, there were only four guards on duty.  Ronon would’ve been my first target, followed immediately by Colonel Sheppard and Major Lorne.  Mr. Woolsey would’ve provided an effective shield while I eliminated the four guards, as well as Sgt. Young and Lt. Jones.  I would be out of ammunition at that point, but the only people left in the room with guns are you and Teyla.  I would’ve snapped Mr. Woolsey’s neck before easily subduing you.  While Teyla could most likely keep me occupied until reinforcements arrived, she would eventually fail, and I would now have access to her weapons as well.  At this point, I would have decimated the senior leadership on Atlantis, along with eliminating the only four members of the expedition who would’ve posed a serious threat to me.  I have sustained only minimal damage and am now armed with at least one automatic weapon.” 

“You've got to be joking,” Rodney scoffed, “You couldn’t really do all that.” 

“The Marine Corps has a saying: ‘One shot, one kill’.  I do not miss, Dr. McKay,” EJ replied smoothly, “I have done much more with much less.  If you don’t believe me, you can take a look at some of the video files later, particularly the two from Syria and the one from South Africa.” 

“And the story you told us about the touching problem,” Keller waved her hand in a vague gesture, eager to dismiss the gruesome subject, “Was that true?” 

“The story I told you was true, even if it was not the entire story.  It was an early mission from the DOD.  They wanted intelligence from a terrorist group in the Middle East, but were unable to acquire the information by any normal means, so they sent me to obtain it.  The easiest way to get what the DOD wanted was to give the terrorists what they wanted.  I leaked information through back channels that an operative was being sent.  The terrorists had people waiting to capture me as soon as I stepped off the plane in Afghanistan.  They took me to their no-longer-secret base and proceeded to _interrogate_ me.  I’ve found you learn more when you’re not the one asking questions.” 

“Wait,” Keller sat forward in her chair, “You _let_ them take you prisoner…you let them _torture_ you for two days so _you_ get information from _them_?” 

“Yes.  It wasn’t the first time I used that particular method to get information and it definitely wasn’t the last,” EJ said nonchalantly, “I was actually expecting the mission to take a week.  They didn’t even get beyond the initial physical beatings and broken fingers before I had everything I needed.  There was a SEAL team on stand-by waiting for the signal to ‘ _rescue’_ me,” she used her good hand to make air quotes around the word rescue. 

"That story isn't the reason behind my reactions, however," EJ straightened in her chair before continuing, "What you have to understand is, before I came to Atlantis six and a half months ago, I worked for government agencies for 5 years doing their most dangerous missions.  The six years before that were spent working for Lynch doing his dirty work.  The eight years before that, I was training to be the perfect spy, the perfect killer.  I had no personal life, no time for one.  I’ve never had more than 96 hours off between missions.  In the past twenty years, my only experiences with personal contact were severely limited.  I had rigorous training and missions, nothing else.  In my mind, there were only three categories: people trying to kill me, people I had to get close enough to kill, and people performing experiments on me.  I’m not used to being around people who touch so casually with no harmful intentions.  I’ve clearly had some difficulty adjusting my thought process.” 

For the first time since he came in the room, Sheppard’s sharp, hazel-green eyes met EJ’s calm, violet eyes. 

His voice was quiet and even when he spoke, “How many?” 

EJ’s blank expression snapped into place.  She could feel the confused glances from around the table bouncing between her and Sheppard.  EJ knew exactly what he was asking, even if no one else did. 

“Including your extraction?” EJ asked calmly.

“Yes.”  

“213 close-range.  79 long distance.  64 indirectly.  I remember _every. single. one._   And up until now, it was never by choice,” EJ cleared her throat in an uncharacteristic display of nervousness as her calm control wavered, “You should know, Jack tried to talk me out of going, but I convinced him it was necessary.  I am very persuasive, when I choose to be.” 

John stared at EJ, hands curling into fists in his lap. 

She tried to keep all emotion off her face and held his gaze steadily. 

He stood suddenly and placed his hands on the table, opening his mouth to say something before changing his mind and shutting it, his jaw clenched tight. 

EJ couldn’t hold his stare any longer and lowered her eyes to the table.   

John turned towards the door and stepped away from the table. 

“Atlantis, unseal this room,” John commanded the City.  The doors swung open and he left without another word. 

As the doors pivoted shut again, McKay looked at EJ in confusion, “What was he asking you?  356 what?” 

“How many people I killed,” EJ answered hollowly. 

“And you…456…you…” McKay sputtered. 

“ _Ego occidat_.  They wanted me to be a killer and I _excelled_ at it," EJ said bitterly, "I have killed 213 people at close-range.  I have killed 79 people at long distance.  I have killed 64 people by more indirect means.  Since I was 16 years old, I am accountable for 356 individual lives.  And because of my _abilities,_  I can remember each name and each face with perfect clarity.”  [Latin: I am a killer] 

EJ stood carefully without raising her gaze from the table, “Mr. Woolsey, I’ll remain in my quarters until a decision has been reached about my future on Atlantis.  I know you’ve had someone following me since I returned.  If you wish to increase my security detail after what I’ve told you, I will do nothing to interfere with them.” 

She walked around the table to the doors, “Atlantis, reinitialize the surveillance feed in this room and reinstate all communications.” 

EJ left the room silently as the doors opened. 

Woolsey stood and moved to pick up the tablet containing her file, “If any of you wish to go through Dr. Baran’s complete file, it will be in my office.  I believe it’s in everyone’s best interests if it is kept there, but I will make it available should you wish to see it.  I will listen to any opinions you may have about Dr. Baran’s future here on Atlantis, but ultimately the decision will be mine.  Please do not discuss anything you have heard here today with anyone outside of this room.” 

He walked out the doors and towards his office, leaving everyone else sitting in stunned silence around the table. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EJ's contact at MI6 is meant to be the young Q from the James Bond movie "Skyfall". Headcanon: accepted.


	15. Chapter Fourteen - Conditions

EJ spent the majority of the next three days alone in her quarters.  She left only to go directly to the cafeteria for food, which she took back and ate silently in her room.  She heard people whispering as she walked past, her silent guard an ever-present shadow.  Sometime in the afternoon on the third day, she removed her sling to meticulously clean and polish her weapons.  Halfway through, her door chime sounded. 

“Enter,” she said, setting the knife back in the dull silver case and closing the lid.   

The door opened to reveal the uniformed man who was currently on guard-duty. 

“Dr. Baran, Mr. Woolsey would like to see you in his office,” he said politely. 

“Suppose I should’ve finished packing,” EJ said as she stood, placing her arm carefully back in the sling and leaving the closed case in the middle of her otherwise empty desk. 

“Ma’am?” the man asked curiously. 

“Never mind.  Let’s get this over with.” 

EJ made her way to Woolsey’s office, her escort following closely.  She pressed the chime on the outside panel and didn’t have to wait long before the door slid open. 

“Dr. Baran, come in,” Woolsey directed his attention to the man behind her, “You are dismissed.” 

EJ stood rigidly in front of Woolsey’s desk as the uniformed man left the room and shut the door behind him. 

“Please sit down, Dr. Baran,” Woolsey motioned towards the chairs. 

“I’ll be fine here, Mr. Woolsey,” EJ responded without moving, “I’d rather get this over quickly.” 

“EJ, sit down,” Woolsey sighed, pulling his glasses off to rub his hand across his forehead.   

EJ looked at him, confusion clear as she sat in her customary chair by the door. 

“In the last three days,” Woolsey replaced his glasses, “almost every person you invited to that meeting has come in here to speak with me regarding your future.  Some of them chose to look through your file, others deemed it unnecessary.  All of them have very strong opinions about what should happen next.  I told each of them that I would take their suggestions regarding your future here under advisement.  Ronon said more words on your behalf than I've heard him speak in all my previous dealings with him.  Dr. Keller believes the ATA gene could be responsible for your unique state and wants permission to research it.  Teyla reminded me that you made the decision to go after their team, even knowing that you would put yourself in extreme danger doing so.  Dr. McKay lectured me for over an hour, saying that you've been extremely valuable to this expedition and that I'd be making a horrible mistake if I let you leave.  Major Lorne was very impressed with your abilities and wants you to begin training some members of the military in your hand-to-hand techniques, as well as requesting you have a permanent spot on his off-world team.” 

EJ noted the absence of any mention of Sheppard as he paused. 

“And your opinion, Mr. Woolsey?” EJ questioned warily. 

“I dislike important things being kept from me,” Woolsey leaned back in his chair and drummed his fingers on his desk before continuing, “That being said, after I reviewed your complete file I understand why you chose to do so.  You told me at our first meeting that you were not here to cause any harm to Atlantis or its inhabitants.  I have yet to see evidence to the contrary, and with what I now understand about your skills, I’m sure you could have caused extensive damage if you had so desired.  As much as it pains me to agree with Dr. McKay, I believe his assessment is correct.  You have done exemplary work here.  I hope that you will continue to do so.” 

“You’re…You’re not making me leave?” EJ’s voice quiet and weak, “I’m allowed to stay?”  

EJ was astonished.  She had fully expected to be tossed through the next open wormhole and left to fend for herself.

Woolsey softened at her almost child-like reaction, “Yes, EJ, you can stay.  I have conditions, however.”  

“Of course,” she agreed readily. 

“I'm giving Dr. Keller permission to research the medical side of Project Shadow.  I'm asking you to give her whatever information and help she requires.  Hopefully, with research, we will able to further understand your abilities.  I am not asking you to become Dr. Keller’s personal lab rat, only that you participate in a few tests of her design and provide her with whatever details you can remember about Project Shadow.” 

“I will do that only with the understanding that whatever results she finds be added directly into my medical file and kept strictly confidential among the expedition members present at our last meeting.  There are always people like Lynch who want an edge.  I don’t want anyone else to go through what I did.” 

“Agreed,” Woolsey nodded, “I'd also like you to give serious consideration to Major Lorne’s request that you train some of the military stationed here.  While they already obtain training through their respective branches and the SGC, it is minor compared to what you have received.  I believe with your instruction their skills could improve and thus increase their chances of survival in the field.” 

“We'll have to come up with a suitable cover for me having the skills I do, which I assume will be necessary anyway to counteract any rumors already floating around since I returned from P30-712.  Any instruction I do would be purely on a voluntary basis.  I won’t force anyone to participate.  I’ll speak with Evan about choosing a small group to begin with.  I’ll have to come up with a form of training that will enhance their skills without revealing too much about myself.  I know Ronon has training sessions with several members of the military, so I’d like to ask him to help with an initial demonstration.  It will be easier for me to teach them if I don’t have to concentrate on not hurting my assistant.” 

“You might consider using your status as a Special Agent within one of the government agencies as your cover.  It would explain many of your abilities without raising too many questions.” 

EJ tilted her head and deliberated, “CIA or NSA would probably be the best choice.  It explains both the languages and physical skills.  What about becoming a member of AR-2?"

"That will be between you and Major Lorne," Woolsey replied easily, "If you both agree, I'd be happy to approve you as the science officer for his team."

"I'll talk to him when we're done here," EJ said easily, "and have him contact you later this week.  Were there any other conditions?” 

“One final one.  I would like to expand your formal duties here on Atlantis.  I would like you to consult with our military in situations similar to the one on P30-712.  While I will not order you to put yourself in any unnecessary danger, I cannot deny that you have valuable insight that could help save lives.” 

“As long as I am given the choice whether or not I go personally, that’s acceptable.  I have had enough of being ordered to kill,” EJ said darkly, then tilted her head to the side again as she continued, “I also have some thoughts on the security of Atlantis and her personnel.  My ‘insights’ include being able to spot holes in security.  I’d like to help keep my home as safe as possible.” 

Woolsey’s brow furrowed at the mention of weaknesses, “I would be happy to read any report you write and forward it to the appropriate parties.  If they agree with your suggestions, I will add consulting on internal security to your duties as well.” 

“Thank you, Mr. Woolsey,” EJ stood and adjusted her sling, “I think I’d like to get back to my lab now.  I haven’t done any work for over a week.” 

She started to leave, but stopped when he spoke again. 

“We never did get to finish our lunch, EJ.  Would you like to meet me in the mess hall at 1230 tomorrow for a meal?” Woolsey asked politely. 

EJ smiled brightly at him, “Of course, Richard.  I’ll see you there.” 

 

_*ChaosChaosChaosChaosChaosChaosChaos*_

 

Two weeks later, EJ was standing in front of a small group of Marines in the main gym.  After her collarbone had healed, faster than normal, exactly as she said, she got together with Evan to set up her first training session.  Evan had chosen a small group of seven marines that she was familiar with and reserved a time in one of the larger gyms.  Ronon agreed to help with her demonstration when she mentioned it to him during their morning run. 

“Gentlemen, you all know EJ here,” Evan gestured to EJ standing beside him, “What you do not know is that she is a highly trained Special Agent with the CIA.  She has agreed to provide extra training to some of the military.  Show her the same respect you would give any of your commanding officers.” 

“Thanks, Evan,” EJ stepped forward as he finished, “I know you’ve all received plenty of training through the Marine Corps and the SGC training program.  I am hoping I will be able to add to your skill set.” 

A marine EJ remembered from one of her scientific missions spoke up. 

“Come on, EJ.  You’re pulling our legs, right?  I mean, I know what you did to that idiot Johnson, but you can’t really be a CIA agent.  You’re too…” he trailed off. 

“I’m too… _what_ , Steve?” EJ raised an eyebrow at him. 

Steve blushed slightly as he looked her over.  She was wearing new[ bright pink tank top](https://dtpmhvbsmffsz.cloudfront.net/posts/2014/05/03/5365a68ce381dc058200d69a/m_5365a68fe381dc058200d6a2.jpg) \- the pale gray one from before permanently bloodstained - and her black capris.  Her hair was piled into another messy bun on the top of her head and she was once again barefoot.  There was a round, puckered, pink spot visible on her right shoulder, just below her collarbone, where she had been shot, but the line on her bicep was no longer there. 

“You’re too…well… _cute_ …ma’am,” Steve finally answered, tacking on the last word in an attempt to be polite. 

EJ laughed out loud.  She walked over to a large, black case and pulled out two medium-length black knives. 

“Some of you may have seen these before.  They’re blunted so they won’t cut the skin, but they release a small electric charge on contact,” EJ went over to the marine who had spoken and smacked him gently in the left arm with one of the knives.  He let out a startled yelp and touched the spot she had hit as she continued explaining, “The area stings for a short while afterwards, simulating a real wound.  That was the lowest setting.” 

She handed him one of the knives and stepped back, “Let’s make a deal, Steve.  You and I will spar using these knives.  First person to three hits wins.  If you win, you can have all my desserts for the rest of the month.  I’ll leave and we can just pretend Evan has been into Radek’s hooch again.  If I win,” she considered him carefully and smiled mischievously, “I get all your coffee rations for a week.”     

Steve narrowed his eyes at her, “You’re on.” 

Evan snorted as everyone stepped away from the marked ring in the center of the room.  

“Hush, Evan,” EJ pointed a finger at him, “This training was _your_ idea.”  

Evan mimed zipping his lips but couldn’t stop the grin that came across his face.   

Steve and EJ began circling each other at the edge of the ring.  He lunged for her but EJ easily side-stepped him and sliced the back of his thigh with the knife as she moved past.  He stumbled a bit then whirled to slash at her again.  She used her empty hand to block his knife arm, then slashed upwards against his forearm with her knife.  She switched her grip on him, twisting his arm awkwardly so he dropped the knife.  She hooked a bare foot behind his knee and pulled back, at the same time pushing forward with the grip on his arm, forcing him backward and making him land hard on the mat.  She followed him down, keeping her tight grip on his arm as she held the knife against his throat.  She gave him a moment absorb the seriousness of his position before she leaned back slightly and tapped the knife gently in the center of his chest.  He let out a quiet huff.  She released her hold on him, stood up, and gave him a defiant grin. 

The entire thing was over in less than a minute. 

“I can be cute and still have something to teach you.  I’m multi-talented like that,” EJ bent down to pick up the dropped knife as Lorne offered a hand to pull Steve up, “That’s a weeks’ rations of coffee, Steve.  I _will_ be collecting.” 

“Yes, ma’am,” Steve mumbled, rubbing the spot she had tapped on his chest. 

“I did warn you, Lieutenant,” Lorne clapped him on his back, “I said _highly-trained_ CIA agent.  It was a sucker bet.” 

“I wouldn’t say anything if I were you, _Major_ ,” EJ put a hand on her hip and spoke in a falsely sweet voice, “I seem to remember earning a weeks’ worth of pudding from you yesterday.” 

The marines around the room chuckled as Lorne faked horror at her, “I thought we agreed to never discuss that again, _Agent_.” 

EJ laughed warmly, “All right, let’s get started for real now.  If you would all take one of the practice knives from the case, Ronon has agreed to help me demonstrate some techniques.” 

EJ spent the next two hours showing the men various striking and disarming techniques.  The Marines were eager to learn after the initial demonstration.  Ronon proved to be a very effective partner for EJ to train with.  She was able to use her strength against him, without having to worry about hurting him too badly.  When their time was up, the men once again gathered in front of her. 

“You all did very well today.  This training is strictly voluntary, so if you would like to continue, please let Major Lorne know so he can schedule more sessions.  Tell your friends,” EJ joked as the room cleared of everyone but her and Ronon. 

“If you’re up for it, I’d like to spar,” Ronon said, twirling the practice knife lazily. 

“I’d like that,” EJ grinned at him, “I haven’t had a proper match since I’ve been here.  I’ll try not to hurt you… _much_.” 

Ronon gave EJ a feral smile as they both dropped into a fighting stance and began circling each other. 


	16. Chapter Fifteen - Extreme Encouragement

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter in which everyone gets it...except for Sheppard.

Sheppard had been diligently avoiding EJ since he had walked out of the briefing room that day.  So when he saw her sitting with _his_ team, at _his_ table, in _his_ chair in the mess hall, he nearly turned around and walked back out.  Instead, he gritted his teeth, tightened his grip on his tray, and pulled an extra chair over to sit between Rodney and Teyla.  He looked over to Ronon and saw the faint bruise under his left eye. 

“What happened to your face, big guy?” Sheppard asked. 

“Elbow,” Ronon grinned around his food.   

EJ snorted, “I told you that you were dropping your guard on that side.” 

“Still won.” 

“If you say so,” EJ waved her fork at him, “I’m not the one that ended up with a black eye.” 

“Yeah, I’ve heard about your ‘training sessions’ with the Marines these last two weeks,” Rodney said, mouth half full of food, “It’s all over the City how you’ve been smacking them around.  The rumor is you’re some sort of ‘freaky bad-ass CIA Barbie’.” 

EJ let out a short laugh at his description. 

“You better not turn into another meat-head jock,” Rodney said seriously, “Some of the _other_ scientists will whine if you stop coming into the labs.” 

“But not you, Rodney?” EJ fake-pouted at him, “That hurts my feelings.” 

“Yeah, yeah, me too,” Rodney rolled his eyes at her, “But only because I won’t be able to prove you wrong as often.” 

EJ smiled easily as he continued, “Speaking of _wrong_ , you and I need to have a _discussion_ about that security report you gave Woolsey.  There is nothing wrong with the network firewalls.  I designed most of them myself.” 

Sheppard’s fork clattered onto his tray, “ _You_ wrote that report?” 

EJ looked in Sheppard’s direction for the first time since he sat down, “Yes.  I’ve noticed a couple holes in the City’s security, including the firewalls that Rodney _wrongly_ assumes are impenetrable.”  

“That was an extremely comprehensive report,” Sheppard said carefully. 

“I like to be thorough,” EJ shrugged.  

“Looking for the best ways to cause _devastation_ , Special Agent Baran?” Sheppard asked, cynicism clear in his tone. 

A quick look of hurt flashed in EJ’s eyes before she cleared all emotion off her face, “Right.  Because someone like _me_ couldn’t possibly want to help.  I’m just an _amentem interfectorem_ , aren’t I?”  [Latin: mindless killer]   

“EJ…” Teyla spoke gently as EJ stood up. 

“I have to go find Evan.  He wanted to talk to me about adding another group to the training schedule.  Of course, I’m only using the sessions to scope out enemy soldiers,” EJ snatched her tray off the table, “It’s not like I want my colleagues to be able to defend themselves or anything.  I’ll stop by your lab later this evening, Rodney, to go over your _incorrect_ assumptions.  Ronon, I’ll see you tomorrow morning at the usual time for our run.  Teyla, let me know if you would like to read that book I was telling you about.  Enjoy the rest of your lunch,” she inclined her head to each of them, then turned to Sheppard again, “Colonel Sheppard.” 

EJ walked briskly away from the table, her head held high as she left. 

There was an awkward silence around the table before Rodney spoke loudly. 

“What is _wrong_ with you?” he accused Sheppard, “You’ve been avoiding EJ for weeks and now you’re being stupid.  Stupider than usual.” 

“ _Special_ _Agent_ Baran lied to me- _to us_.  She’s a dangerous-” Sheppard tried to explain but Rodney started talking over him. 

“EJ may not have told the complete truth, but she’s never outright lied to anyone.  Have you even looked at her file?  The things she has gone through would have _broken_ any normal person.  Did you ever ask her about her past?  I know I didn’t.  I don’t _care_ what she did before.  I care what she has done since she’s been here.  She has given my department more potential research in the seven or so months she’s been here than they’ve had the previous two years _combined_.  She is _solely_ responsible for at least eight different very lucrative trade agreements.  She wrote that report in an effort to _improve_ the safety of everyone on Atlantis.  Half the scientists that work for me can build an atom bomb out of spare parts.  They’re dangerous and not _nearly_ as useful as EJ.  We keep them around, don’t we?  I don’t know what your issue is, but you better get over it.  Quit being rude to her.” 

Rodney looked down at his half-eaten food, then stood up, “I can’t even finish eating now.” 

He stomped off without looking back. 

“Ronon and I are considered ‘dangerous’ by many, John.  Would you have us leave as well?” Teyla asked quietly. 

“What?  That’s not what I…I don’t want _anyone_ to leave,” Sheppard insisted, "I'm just-" 

“EJ has risked her life for us twice.  She risked her life going to that planet to rescue us and she risked her life when she revealed herself to us,” Teyla continued in her soft tone.   

“You heard what she told us.  You know what happened on that planet.  You saw what she did and what she _almost_ did.  If Lorne hadn’t been there...” Sheppard was rapidly losing ground in this conversation without knowing exactly how it had happened. 

“Can you not see her reasons?” Teyla laid a gentle hand on his arm, “I believe she only revealed herself because it was ourteam that was taken.  She could have stayed silent and let the matter resolve itself in some other way.  Instead, she chose, for the first time, to use her training to help people.  Everything she did on that planet was by _her choice_ , done to help us.  I saw great anger in her eyes when she saw you had been hurt.  I do not believe she would not have reacted in such a manner had it been anyone else.  I also saw the hurt in her eyes just now when you accused her of subterfuge.  EJ may be a strong woman, but she is also fragile in many ways.  She cares for you and you have caused her pain.  Perhaps you should keep that in mind next time you speak to her.” 

Teyla stood and walked away, leaving only Sheppard and Ronon sitting at the table with trays of half-eaten food around them. 

Sheppard leaned back and crossed his arms over his chest, “Aren’t you going to stomp off too?” 

Ronon shrugged one shoulder, “I agree.  You’re an idiot.  I’m just hungry.” 

Sheppard poked at the food on his plate for the rest of his silent lunch.  

 

_*ChaosChaosChaosChaosChaosChaosChaos*_

 

When he walked in his office the next day, Lorne was more than a little surprised to see his CO sitting at his desk working.  He turned around and walked out the door.  He came back in a few seconds later, shook his head and rubbed palms across his eyes.  When he opened his eyes again and Sheppard was still there, he asked cautiously, “Are you sick or something, sir?” 

Sheppard looked up, “What?” 

“You’re doing paperwork.  In your office.  Before it’s due.  I didn’t have to confiscate your golf clubs or your Gameboy to get you in here.  Are you sick, sir?” Lorne questioned warily.

“I’m not sick,” Sheppard turned back to his laptop, but didn’t resume typing, “I’m just doing paperwork.  I do that occasionally.” 

“Not without extreme encouragement, sir,” Lorne narrowed his eyes at his CO, “Are you hiding in here, Colonel?” 

Sheppard flinched a little, “Everyone’s mad at me.  Teyla lectured me, Ronon called me an idiot and Rodney told me to quit being rude.  Rodney _, of all people_ , told me I was being rude.” 

“You know,” Lorne picked up a tablet from his desk, “I just came here to pick up this list of volunteers.  I’m about to head to the gym to supervise another training session.  You should come with me, sir.” 

“You don’t need me for that, Major.  I’ll just finish up here,” Sheppard waved a dismissive hand at him.  

“I can’t _believe_ I’m about to say this…" Lorne said wryly, "Sir, the paperwork can wait.  You need to come to the gym with me.  There’s something you should see.” 

Sensing Lorne’s seriousness, despite his tone, Sheppard nodded at his second-in-command and got up to follow him to the gym.  Besides, Lorne was right; Sheppard really did hate doing paperwork. 


	17. Chapter Sixteen - Teamwork

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am definitely NOT a fighter, so just pretend that the fight scenes make sense. 
> 
> The song that plays in my head during the final sparring match is "Weaver of Lies" by Cherryholmes. Again, if I could make this story into a movie/TV show, I would choose this hauntingly beautiful song for this section. Here's a link (quality is a bit poor, but close your eyes and listen anyway.) - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BPlFPeWX80I

EJ saw Sheppard come into the gym behind Evan, but ignored him.  She was wearing her now typical pink tank and black capris, but this time she was wearing a pair of low cut grey socks with slim, black tennis shoes.  Her hair was pulled back into a[ tight french braid, the end rolled and pinned to the nape of her neck](http://asuyeta.com/asuyeta/blog/posts/camilla/summer%20french%20braid/11.jpg).  The group of men she was training had expanded to include nine marines and five airmen.  She waited until all they had all picked one of the practice knives from the open case before taking one for herself. 

“Okay, we going to start by pairing off and running through the moves we learned in the last three sessions.  After that, we’re going to have a bit of a contest, with a special prize for the winner or winners.  Keep your knives on the lowest setting for now.” 

Excited murmurs went through the group as they split into pairs.  EJ talked them through a set of motions at a slow speed, stopping occasionally to adjust a grip or position and encourage them as she walked by.  When she was satisfied with their movements at the slower speed, she had them run through twice more at full speed.  She called them to a halt after a short while.  

“And now,” EJ smiled a wicked grin at the room, “our contest.  We’re going to have a single-elimination tournament with a twist.  Instead of competing on your own, you're going to be fighting two on two.  This isn’t just a test of your individual skills, this is a test of your ability to work as part of a team.  The last pair standing gets the special honor of fighting me.  If they _somehow_ manage to defeat me, each winner will receive a very old bottle of scotch that I've managed to acquire and Evan is going to pretend he knows nothing about.” 

“Know nothing about what, EJ?” Evan asked harmlessly. 

“See?” EJ hooked a thumb at Evan, “Knows nothing about any prizes.  Rules are: first pair to get three hits on both opponents, disarm both opponents, or any combination of the two, wins.  To keep things fair, Evan has agreed to be judge, should the need arise.  Artie, Ryan, you’ll go against Steve and Mark first.  Let’s give them the floor.” 

Everyone but the four men she named cleared the center of the ring. 

“And no biting, Artie.  I’m on to your tricks,” EJ pointed a finger at the man in question who gave his best 'who me?' look. 

“Ready?  3…2…1…Fight!” 

Sheppard watched as his men began to fight.  He had seen many of them sparring before and he was impressed by the improvement they showed.  He saw them applying the moves they had practiced earlier to score easy hits against their opponents.  But what stood out to him the most was the way the pairs moved seamlessly together.  Each man seemed to know where the other would be and fought accordingly.  They chose their opponents with care and switched easily when it was required.  They fought and protected each other in a manner that was normally only seen in special units that worked exclusively together for years. 

The men encouraged each other and there was no taunting when a pair was eliminated, only slaps on the back and a ‘well done’ or ‘good fight’.  EJ gave the eliminated pairs a few quiet, gentle words to correct some of their movements while the winning pairs rested for a few minutes.  Sheppard noted the attentiveness of their expressions as they took in what she was saying.  As the contest continued and pairs were eliminated, he began to cheer along with the rest of the group.  Finally, the last pair was eliminated when their opponents managed to disarm one and score a third hit on the other simultaneously.  Sheppard recognized the winners as the two members of Lorne’s team that had been with EJ when she had been drugged.   

EJ spoke as the cheers died down, “Congratulations to Bobby and Leo.  However, the contest isn’t over yet.  Now the _real_ competition begins.” 

She walked over to one of the benches and picked up a small piece of black fabric.  She tossed it to the closer of the two men, who examined it. 

“That is a blindfold.  Check it out, make sure you can’t see anything through it.” 

The first man held it over his eyes, then handed it to his partner who did the same.  The second man tossed it back to her and she caught it one-handed.  She adjusted the setting on the hilt of her knife and stepped into the center of the ring marked on the floor. 

“Set your knives on the highest setting.  If you get hit with one of these things at this setting, it will numb the contact area for a good two minutes,” EJ gave another wicked grin as she secured the blindfold over her eyes, “The same rules apply for this match: first to three hits or first to disarm.” 

The two men looked at each other, thinking they were in for an easy victory, and adjusted their knives accordingly, stepping into the ring across from EJ. 

“Evan, if you would count us down please,” EJ tilted her head in his direction.   

“Ready?  3…2…1…Begin!” Evan shouted. 

If Sheppard was impressed earlier, he was completely dumbfounded by what he saw now. 

The two men attacked EJ together, striking at her from different directions at the same time.  She blocked one of them with her knife hand while ducking under the arm of the other.  She wove in and out between them as they attacked her again and again, dodging blows where she could and blocking those she couldn’t.  Watching EJ fight was like watching a mysterious dance, graceful and strangely beautiful.  As the fight continued, the time stretching longer, her skin began to glisten with a light sweat and she seemed to glow as she moved.  Pieces of her hair escaped from their bindings to fly around her face.  About fifteen minutes after the fight began, the first man managed to slash the forearm of EJ's knife arm.  She tossed her knife high into the air and ducked down.  She used a leg to sweep his feet out from under him.  She caught the falling knife with her opposite hand as the first man hit the ground.  She whirled to slash the ribs of the advancing second man.  He stumbled to the side as his partner jumped up.  She threw herself into a one-handed backflip and kicked out with her leg, landing a hard blow to the first man’s wrist.  He let out a loud grunt as she landed on both feet.  The second man lunged for her again and she stepped deftly to the side, slicing at his bicep as he passed.  The first man slashed towards her hip with a low strike.  She grabbed his arm just above his wrist as he made contact with her hip and twisted hard enough that he released the knife with another pained grunt.  The second man came at her again while she was still facing away.  She kicked back with her leg, hitting him hard in the thigh.  He grabbed her ankle in the air as she twisted and flipped herself to the side, her free leg hitting against his chest as they both fell awkwardly to the mat.  He let out a loud ‘OOF’ as he hit the ground.  She adjusted her position in their tangle of limbs so she had one shoe against his wrist.  She started to move over him to bring her knife close to his throat but he quickly got his other arm up and held his knife against her stomach.    

EJ used her free hand to pull the blindfold off and grinned excitedly, “I believe that’s the third hit.” 

Huge cheers erupted from the room as EJ got up and offered her hand to the man on the floor.  He dropped his knife on the floor beside him and smiled wildly as she helped him to stand.  She put his partner’s hand in his and raised both their hands in the air in a grand victory gesture. The others in the room surged forward to surround them as EJ dropped their joined hands.  EJ picked up the two forgotten knives from the floor and returned them with her own to the case. 

EJ spoke loud enough to be heard over the still cheering men, “I’ll deliver those bottles to your rooms first thing tomorrow.  Congratulations boys, you earned them.  Now all of you, go take showers.  You stink.” 

EJ laughed as they piled out of the room, cheering and recalling the best parts of the fights.  Evan waited until the last person had left before went to pick up the case of knives. 

“I saw the video footage from inside the building on P30-712,” Evan remarked casually, “Did you _let_ Bobby and Leo score those hits?”  

“I’m sure I have _no_ idea what you’re talking about, Evan,” EJ said as she rocked back on her heels, hands on her hips. 

“Uh-huh.  Just like I know _nothing_ about the bottles of very expensive liquor you just _gave away,_ ” Evan rolled his eyes at her, “I’ll take these back to the armory.” 

Evan looked at Sheppard leaning against the wall and headed out of the room, leaving the two of them alone in the large room. 

“That was quite a show you just put on,” Sheppard pushed off the wall, “Very impressive.” 

EJ picked up the blindfold and walked over to a bench to grab her small towel.  She ran the towel over her face, then looped it around the back of her neck before she spoke, “It wasn’t a show.  Those men have been working hard.  They deserve to have a bit of fun.” 

“And the trick with the blindfold?  How did you pull that off?” 

“It’s not a trick,” EJ tossed the blindfold to him, “See for yourself.  It completely blocks out all light.” 

John held up the blindfold to his eyes and found she was indeed telling the truth, “Still doesn’t answer my question.  Lorne implied you went easy on them.  How do you go easy in a fight involving two trained marines and knives without being able to see them?” 

“That blindfold may block out all light, but it doesn’t block any of my other senses," EJ replied easily, "I can hear their breathing, the rustle of their clothing.  I can feel the air move around me when one of them attacks.  I can smell the sweat on their skin when they get close.  I have been training for almost twenty years.  Pretend knife-fighting two young marines while blindfolded isn’t the hardest thing I’ve ever done.  It’s barely a distraction for me.  It was more fun for me than anything else.” 

“I’m sure it was,” Sheppard drawled. 

“Don’t worry, Colonel Sheppard, I refrained from causing any damage to your men.” 

“Just a distraction, right?” he grumbled, “I’ve never seen anyone fight like that before.” 

“Well, now you have.” 

“Why a Glock?” he blurted. 

“I carry two specially modified Glock 22C’s,” EJ explained, ignoring the sudden change in subject, “each with a fifteen round magazine of .40 S&W hollow point ammunition.  Both guns are modified to be used ambidextrously so I can interchange them as needed.  The Glock 22C is a version of the Glock 22 that has a ported barrel and slide to reduce muzzle climb while shooting, so the normal recoil and muzzle flash that comes with a larger caliber is reduced. The bullets are designed to maximize the damage caused, while minimizing ballistic evidence.  I can also change out the barrel to accept .357 SIG ammunition.  I prefer the versatility of my Glock to the stopping power of your .45.” 

“Why weren’t you carrying your own weapons then?  When you were drugged, I mean.”

“First of all, it was supposed to be a diplomatic mission.  I was trying to represent Atlantis in a non-threatening manner.  Secondly, I had no way to explain having a personal firearm, much less my proficiency, without revealing more than I wanted to.  If you will remember, I have carried the standard nine millimeter sidearm when my off-world missions have required it.” 

“Right, of course,” Sheppard snorted, “You can use the nine just as readily to-”

“If you’ll excuse me, _habeo opus_ ,” EJ turned towards the door and left before he could finish his statement.  [Latin: I have work to do] 

Sheppard frowned after her, wondering how the conversation had gone so differently than what he had expected. 

He looked down, realizing he was still holding the blindfold and hoped it wasn't a weird metaphor for his life at the moment. 

 

_*ChaosChaosChaosChaosChaosChaosChaos*_

Sheppard walked into Woolsey’s office early the next morning and quietly asked to see EJ’s file.  Woolsey agreed to let Sheppard take it to his own office, as long as it remained there and was returned promptly when he finished with it.  Sheppard locked himself in his office and sat down to browse through the file.  He quickly located the video from P30-712. 

As the footage began to play, he watched everything from EJ’s point of view, starting from the point she walked into the gate room to speak with Lorne.  He saw her step through the wormhole and after a few words, saw her take a small handgun from one of the men and shoot three of them between the eyes, all in less than thirty seconds.  He saw her snap the arm of the last man when he didn’t answer her question fast enough, then shoot him in the back of the head when she was finished with him before tossing the gun away and talking to Woolsey again. 

He got to the point in the footage where she entered the building alone, knives drawn.  He sucked in a quick breath as she cut her way through the men inside.  Lorne was right, she had _let_ the two marines win the day before.  EJ cut her way through the men inside, snapping bones and slicing through clothing and skin alike.  He winced as the camera shook from the impact of the bullet to her shoulder.  That was the only time she drew her gun.  The man who had wounded her ended up with a perfectly round hole in the center of his forehead.  He watched her question the survivor.  He heard himself and his team enter the room.  She turned towards them.  The camera showed him perfectly centered and he heard the shaky exhale of breath he had missed originally. 

He continued watching in silence.  He saw himself reach out to touch her cheek in the back of the jumper and saw the camera sway in response. 

The footage cut off shortly after that. 

He had to stop to take a deep breath.  He tapped his radio to make a few quick calls, clearing his schedule for the next two days.  Once he had finished, he settled back in his chair to go through the rest of the file. 

He spent the rest of the day and most of the night watching every video file he could find, including what must have been a stolen copy of the Atlantis’ security footage from the gate room when she had been drugged.  As the sun began to rise the next day, he started reading the early reports about her training.  When he finally couldn’t take anymore, he returned the tablet to Woolsey’s office and went looking for EJ. 


	18. Chapter Seventeen - Impressions

Sheppard wasn’t able to find EJ for two days.  He suspected _she_ was avoiding _him_ now and all of Atlantis was helping.  Every time he went looking, she mysteriously disappeared moments before he got there. 

He had just come out of an engineering lab, after being informed that ‘no, she wasn’t there and no, they didn’t know where she was’, when he got a call to come to Woolsey’s office. 

Sheppard walked in and EJ was sitting in her normal chair, looking extremely aggravated.  She was wearing her standard black BDUs and black combat boots.  Her hair was pulled into a [braid that went from behind her left ear around the back of her head and down over her right shoulder](http://www.instabraid.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/4364fffee81011e1baac22000a1cddc4_62.jpg).  Her arms were crossed across her chest and she was currently trying to glare a hole through Woolsey’s forehead. 

“You were looking for me, Woolsey?” Sheppard said, stepping further into the room. 

“Yes, Colonel,” Woolsey was returning EJ’s annoyed stare with a frustrated one of his own, “Please sit down.” 

Sheppard walked in front of EJ to sit in the second chair.  He looked between the two tense people and asked, “What’s going on?” 

“This is _not_ a good idea, Richard,” EJ protested, "Did you not read the assessment-"

“Special Agent Baran… _please_ be quiet for a moment,” Woolsey took his glasses off and pinched his nose. 

Sheppard hadn’t heard Woolsey use that particular tone in a long time.  Apparently, they had been arguing for a while. 

“Colonel Sheppard, I would like you to accompany Special Agent Baran off-world today,” Woolsey replaced the glasses on his face and gave EJ a hard look to keep her from speaking again, “After the incident with your capture, I contacted Ladon Radim of the Genii to let him know that he had a traitor in his midst.  He agreed to investigate quietly and keep us apprised of his findings.  He has made discrete inquiries and has narrowed the possibilities to a handful of men.  Agent Baran submitted a mission proposal to meet him and the possible candidates at a neutral location of our choosing.  She believes that she will be able to identify the man we are looking for.  Radim sent a message two hours ago agreeing to meet us on P23-598.” 

“I’ll have a team of marines gear up and head to the planet to check it out,” Sheppard said easily.   

“That’s being taken care of as we speak, Colonel,” Woolsey said, “Agent Baran has seen to the details.” 

Sheppard turned to look at EJ, who still hadn’t acknowledged his presence in the room, “She has?” 

“Yes, I have,” EJ huffed, “I chose P23-598 because the area around the gate is completely clear of obstructions, only tall grass, so there are very few places to stage an ambush.  There is no longer anything on the planet of interest to the Wraith, so the chances of them showing are slim.  Richard sent a squad of Marines through to secure the gate and set up a large tent for us to use as a meeting place.  Ladon has narrowed his possibilities to six men, so there will be eleven Genii there.  The six potentials, Radim, and four of his most trusted personal guards.  Two of our twelve men will stay by the gate to keep it secured, six men will keep a perimeter around the tent, and four more will be stationed inside.  Radim will leave two of his personal guard by the gate with our men, the other two will accompany him into the tent with the six potentials.  We should receive word in about an hour that Radim has arrived with his men.  Other than Radim, the Genii have not been informed of the real reason they are going to the planet.  They've been told Atlantis is sending someone to negotiate a formal, written peace treaty.  That will be me, of course.” 

“Many of the Genii will be armed,” Sheppard stated once she has finished. 

“The only person I'm concerned about is the traitor,” EJ responded bitterly, “He’s the only one likely to cause problems.  The rest of them are Ladon’s concern.” 

“Even though Special Agent Baran has proven herself more than capable,” Woolsey glared at her again, “I will not allow her to proceed with this plan unaccompanied.  Sending you, Colonel, will provide the double benefit of showing that she has the full support of Atlantis and providing her some extra protection should she need it.” 

“I don’t need a baby-sitter, Richard,” EJ sulked at him, “And Sheppard shouldn’t be-”

“Colonel Sheppard is not there to _baby-sit_ you, EJ,” Woolsey sighed angrily at her, “He is going as the leader of the military contingent here on Atlantis.  You do not carry the political weight that he does.   You're unknown to the Genii.  They will not simply accept your word alone that one of their own is a traitor.  He goes with you, or you do not go at all.  Do I make myself clear?” 

“Fine,” EJ threw her hands up in the air.  She mentally adjusted her plans to include Sheppard, “He’ll have to follow the plan I have laid out _exactly_.  I need to do all the talking.  There are certain phrases and words that need to be said.  The interior of the tent has been set up so there is no table and not enough chairs for all the people.  Sheppard will take the center chair facing the entrance, forcing Ladon to sit across from him.  By depriving Radim and his guards of adequate sight lines to the door, it will seem like Sheppard is putting himself in a position of power over the leader of the Genii.  After Sheppard introduces me to the Genii, he needs to completely ignore them.  If any of them ask Sheppard questions directly, he should defer them to me, without answering them himself.  Make it seem like the whole exercise is beneath him and a waste of his time.   Everything has been carefully designed to illicit a response.  It will take less time to find the _trădător_ if we do this my way.”  [Romanian: traitor]   

EJ looked over at Sheppard finally, but still addressed Woolsey, “You may as well have him kitted out in full battle gear.  Big guns and all.  Really make the _proper_ impression.” 

Woolsey very nearly rolled his eyes at her before Sheppard spoke, “I want to take Ronon as well.  He can provide additional protection and certainly makes an _impression_.” 

“Very well,” Woolsey stood up. 

EJ and Sheppard followed. 

“I will see you both in the gate room in an hour.  As soon as we receive word from the planet, you have a go.” 

EJ headed out the furthest door and Sheppard went to the glass door behind him.  As he was leaving, he heard Woolsey call after EJ, “And do make the effort _not_ to kill anyone this time, EJ.” 

“ _No promises_ , Richard!” she yelled.  

 

_*ChaosChaosChaosChaosChaosChaosChaos*_

 

Sheppard and Ronon were standing in the gate room checking their weapons when EJ walked in an hour later.  They both looked every inch the very dangerous military men they were.  Sheppard had on his[ best set of sharp black BDUs](http://www.writeups.org/img/fiche/4748a.jpg), long sleeves in place for once, boots laced up tight.  His tac vest and P90 were in place, knife in its sheath hung from the back, his favored Colt strapped to his thigh.  Ronon had his blaster low on his hip and his sword slung over his back.  He was wearing the[ black armored shoulder pieces ](http://cdn.themis-media.com/media/global/images/galleries/display/62/62149.jpg)EJ had seen only once before over a simple black tunic, black leather pants and boots.  EJ counted six knives hidden on him.  She had wanted them to make an impression.  They had certainly done so.

EJ looked innocent next to the two larger men.  She had exchanged the black BDUs she preferred for the gray uniform that she saved only for special occasions.  Her [gray, zippered jacket had blue stripes across the shoulders and forearms](http://cosplaysky.com/media/catalog/product/cache/1/image/800x1200/9df78eab33525d08d6e5fb8d27136e95/d/s/dsc_0188.jpg), signaling her as a member of the science department and she was wearing the matching blue scoop-necked tee shirt underneath.  Her pleated gray slacks covered the tops of a pair of slim black tennis shoes.  Her uniform was neatly pressed and expertly tailored to her.  She had left the braid across her right shoulder.  She looked young, naïve, and completely harmless. 

Sheppard looked EJ over when she came up next to them, “No weapons this time, Baran?” 

“It’s best if the Genii see me as a defenseless, little woman.  You and Ronon will make a scary enough impression.  Besides,” EJ rolled her eyes towards the control room, "Richard asked me not to kill anyone.  I might be more tempted if I had a gun.” 

“You have two knives on you,” Ronon grunted.   

“You have six, Ronon.  Neither of us really need them to kill a person,” EJ put her hands on her hips, “And I’m not nearly dumb enough to go looking for a traitor completely unarmed.”    

“Seven,” Ronon grinned at her. 

“Really?” EJ tilted her head, looking him over again, “Which one did I miss?” 

Ronon’s reply was stopped by the lights on the gate activating and the disconnected voice of the tech. 

“ _Incoming wormhole_.” 

They looked up to the control room.  The gate shut off after a minute, then began dialing again.  Sheppard was eyeing the two people next to him, trying to figure out where they had hidden all the knives when Woolsey’s voice came over the radio. 

“ _Colonel Sheppard, Special Agent Baran, Mr. Dex.  The team at the gate has reported an all-clear.  You have a go.  Check-in with Atlantis every two hours._ ” 

“Richard,” EJ responded too-pleasantly, “if this takes more than two hours, I'm retiring and moving to the Athosian settlement to become a tava bean farmer.” 

“ _EJ_ ,” Sheppard could practically _feel_ the mix of affection and irritation in Woolsey’s voice, “ _You wouldn’t last two days as a tava bean farmer.  Do try to behave yourself._ ” 

“Yes, Richard,” EJ was laughing as she stepped through the gate, followed closely by Sheppard and Ronon. 

 

__*ChaosChaosChaosChaosChaosChaosChaos*__

 

Sheppard said a few words to the men standing at the doorway to the tent, then threw the flap aside and walked in.  EJ walked in behind him and Ronon pulled the flap closed behind them.  The nine Genii were standing around the tent, talking quietly amongst themselves.  One of them stepped forward and Sheppard made short introductions.  After they shook hands, EJ motioned to a set of chairs at the center of the room, three on each side.  Sheppard plopped down in the center chair facing the door, doing his best to look bored.  EJ sat to the right of him, smiling politely and sitting up eagerly.  Ronon stood slightly behind and to the side of EJ’s chair and glared menacingly at everyone across from him.  Radim took the chair across from Sheppard, his two personal guards standing behind him, pretending not to be bothered by Ronon’s intense stares.  Two of the six potential traitors took seats next to Radim. 

“I’m so glad you agreed to this meeting, Mr. Radim,” EJ used her best ‘clueless little girl’ voice, “It’s good that our two peoples can finally formalize this mutually beneficial relationship we have.” 

“Thank you, Dr. Baran,” Radim inclined his head and smiled, playing his part perfectly, “Although, I think you should call me Ladon, since we are sure to be here for quite some time.” 

EJ smiled charmingly at him, “Of course, Ladon.  You must call me EJ then.  And I am hoping we won’t be here _too_ long.  This is mostly just recording everything at this point.  I’m sure _everyone_ realizes the benefits of this alliance.” 

Out of the corner of her eye, EJ saw one of the standing Genii moving forward, a glint of sliver in his hand.  Without thinking, she leapt up in front of Sheppard and grabbed the man’s wrist.  Everyone stood abruptly and those with weapons raised them to aim at the man.  There was a short struggle, then a loud shot was heard and EJ’s body jerked slightly.  EJ ripped the gun from the man’s hand, cracking some of the bones in his fingers, as Ronon rushed forward and slammed into him, forcing him to the ground, a large knife held at this throat. 

Sheppard grabbed EJ’s arm, trying to turn her to see how badly she had been hurt, but she pulled out of his grip forcefully.  She stepped forward and gently tapped Ronon on the shoulder.  He moved off the man immediately, but didn’t move far away, drawing his blaster to aim at the man on the floor.  EJ stepped forward and put one foot down in the center of the man’s chest, holding him in place as she used both hands to aim the gun she had taken from him at his face. 

“That was _much quicker_ than I expected.  I had a whole speech prepared,” EJ's voice was cold and hard, every bit of geniality gone, “Ladon, I believe this is the man you are looking for.” 

“His name is Jace Valeem,” was Ladon’s furious reply, “I did not think it would be him.” 

“Jace,” EJ addressed the man under her foot in an exceedingly dangerous tone, “Were you the one that order the capture and execution of the Lantean team?” 

When he didn’t answer, she pressed her foot harder down onto his chest and fired the gun.  A bullet slammed into the ground less than six inches from his ear. 

“I assume the _urât_ _om_ who survived explained to you what happened on that planet.  You saw what was done to him.  Unless you wish worse to happen to you, I suggest you answer my question, loud enough for everyone to hear.  _Did._ _you._ _order._ the capture and execution of the Lantean team?”  [Romanian: ugly man]   

“ _Yes_ ,” Valeem snarled and looked to Ladon, “I ordered it.  The Genii are losing their way, Radim.  You have let the Lanteans take advantage of us at every opportunity.  The death of those four people would have ruined the truce.  I do not regret my decision.” 

“You will,” EJ moved her foot off, but kept the gun pointed at him, “I trust you know what to do with this filth, Ladon?” 

Ladon motioned to his guards who moved to pick the man up off the floor.  The Marines kept their guns trained on him as he stood.  EJ pressed a hand to her lower left side and turned around slowly to face Sheppard.  He saw the deep red stain that had spread from under her hand down the bottom of her shirt onto her leg and he froze. 

“That’s twice one of these _fatuis_ has shot me.  I’ve only been in this galaxy for _mensibus octo_ ,” EJ looked down at the blood oozing through her fingers, “Should’ve stayed on Earth.  Never got shot this much on Earth.”  [Latin: idiots]  [Latin: eight months]  

Sheppard ripped open a pocket on his vest and pulled out the field dressings he kept there.  He took two large steps to close the distance between them and pulled her hand away to press the gauze to the bloody spot underneath.  Ronon came forward and carefully took the gun from her other hand. 

Sheppard kept one hand pressed tight against her wound and tapped his radio with the other, “Sgt. Young, dial Atlantis and get Dr. Keller and her team to the gate room.  Agent Baran has been shot in her side.  We’re on our way to the gate now.” 

“ _Yes, sir_.” 

“Ladon, we need to get her back to Atlantis.  We’ll contact you in a couple days,” Sheppard said without looking at the other man.   

“Of course, Colonel Sheppard, go,” Ladon motioned to the men closest to the entrance and they held open the flap of the tent.   

“Jennifer is going to be so pissed.  She’s going to sedate me this time.  _Ego novi_ ,” EJ swayed slightly, "I hate being sedated." [Latin: I know it] 

Sheppard made a motion for Ronon to pick her up, but she scowled furiously at the taller man, "Do not even _think_ about carrying me, Ronon.  _Iuro_ , I will cut off all your dreads if you try."  [Latin: I swear]

Sheppard kept one hand pressed tight against EJ's wound as he steered her out of the tent.  Ronon followed close enough behind that he could help if it became needed, but let Sheppard guide EJ with an arm around her back. 

“He ruined my uniform too.  Let me go, Sheppard," EJ tried to pull out of his grip, " _Ego_ _mea sententia_ _mutata_.  I’m going back to kick that moron right in his _facie stupidi_.  I won’t kill him, just break a few bones.”  [Latin: I changed my mind]  [Latin: stupid face] 

“Not this time, Emma,” Sheppard kept her moving forward as she tried to turn back to the tent, “I’ll tell you what, if he’s still alive when you’ve recovered, I’ll let you break every single one of his ribs.” 

“Really?  Promise?” EJ looked up at Sheppard and gave him weak smile, “ _Adhuc mihi indignamini?_  Don’t be mad.”  [Latin: Are you still angry with me?] 

She stopped moving as they got to the men standing in front of the open gate and turned to Sheppard, “ _Ipse ageret pro vobis._ ”  [Latin: He was aiming for you]   

“ _Non laedere ne iterum_ _,_ ” she laid a bloody hand softly against his cheek.  [Latin: I won’t let them hurt you again] 

“…John?” she looked down to where his hand was still pressed against her wound, “ _Ego autem puto deficere._ ” [Latin: I think I’m going to faint now] 

Sheppard scooped EJ up as she lost consciousness and stepped through the horizon holding her in his arms. 


	19. Chapter Eighteen - Lucky

EJ woke slowly to the sound of steady, rhythmic beeping.  She tried to move her arms and pulled against the soft restraints holding her still.  She panicked until she felt a familiar caress in the back of her mind.  She calmed when she realized that meant she was on Atlantis.  She opened her eyes and looked down at herself to see an IV in one arm and wires connecting her chest to the beeping monitor.  She looked around to see she was in one of the isolation rooms in the infirmary.  John was sprawled out in a chair next to her bed, half asleep. 

“John?  _Sum patria_?  _Quid hic agis_?” EJ asked groggily.  [Latin: I’m home?  What are you doing here?] 

John got up quickly and came to stand by her bed. 

“You’re awake,” he sounded relieved. 

She tried to sit up and felt a sharp pull in her abdomen. 

“Don’t get up,” he set his hand on her shoulder and she fell back on her pillow. 

“ _Quousque fui deprimeris_?” EJ mumbled.  [Latin: How long have I been asleep?] 

“Can you speak English, sweetheart?” John asked gently. 

“ _Ego paenitet_ ,” she shook her head weakly and began again quietly, “Speak Latin when I’m hurting.”  [Latin: I’m sorry] 

“I’ll undo these restraints if you behave yourself,” he said as he reached for her closest wrist, “You passed out just before we got to Atlantis.  Keller had you in surgery for three hours and you’ve been mostly asleep for twenty, since she finished.” 

As Sheppard leaned over to undo the second restraint, EJ's brow furrowed in confusion, “What happened?” 

“You woke up once before, mumbling in what I assume was Latin, and tried to slug the nurse that came to check on you.  Jennifer thought it would be safer for her staff, and for your stitches, if you were restrained.  You were right.  She’s pissed you got shot again.” 

“Told you,” EJ gave him a feeble smile, “I’m tired.  Hurts.” 

“Just relax, Emma,” John said softly as her eyes started to close again. 

“ _Vos vocatis me moretur_ ,” EJ whispered.  [Latin: You called me sweetheart] 

Just before she fell asleep, she thought she felt a soft kiss on her forehead. 

 

_*ChaosChaosChaosChaosChaosChaosChaos*_

 

After she had woken up the second time, EJ was moved back into the main infirmary, into a semi-private spot in the corner.  Since then, she had received a steady stream of visitors.  Scientists, engineers, military: it seemed that almost everyone on Atlantis made time to come see her. 

Rodney would stop by with an extra pudding or jello cup for her and EJ would listen to him complain about the latest problem the ‘incompetent fools’ that worked for him had caused.  THe first time Ronon came to visit, he brought the two small knives she had been wearing when she was shot; cleaned, sharpened, and polished, and distracted the staff so she could slip one under her pillow.  Radek would come by to play chess and complain about Rodney making the younger scientists cry again.  Evan brought her a laptop to watch a ‘get-well’ video the men she was training had made.  When EJ saw fourteen fully grown men break into a well-choreographed dance to ‘Barbie Girl’, she laughed so hard she nearly pulled her stitches out.  Richard brought a tray of her favorite foods for his twice weekly lunches with her and promised her replacement uniform would arrive on the _Daedalus_. Teyla brought her clean underthings and helped her change as soon as Jennifer allowed EJ to get up for very quick trips to the bathroom. 

Sheppard had been conspicuously absent for the first week.  When EJ finally did see him again, he stopped by only long enough to tell her he had been ‘ _dealing_ _with’_ the Genii.  He never visited during the day but he seemed to be there every night while she slept.  EJ woke up several times to the sound of Jennifer kicking him out of the chair to sleep in his own bed. 

It took eighteen days for Jennifer to decide EJ was well enough to be released. When Jennifer finally announced that EJ could leave the infirmary, Sheppard was standing next to her bed, hands in his pockets, while Jennifer explained the terms of EJ’s release.   

“You’re on medical leave,” Jennifer directed, “That means no strenuous activity.  No running, no sparring, no yoga, no bending, no lifting anything more than 10 pounds, no going into the labs to argue with Rodney...” 

“I hardly think arguing with Rodney qualifies as a strenuous activity, Jennifer,” EJ interrupted. 

“I have seen the way you two argue.  It’s practically an Olympic sport,” Jennifer snorted, “You can go for walks but keep them short for now and have someone go with you.  You got _extremely_ lucky, EJ.  If that bullet had hit a couple inches to the right, we would not be having this conversation.”    

“If I was _really_ that lucky,” EJ retorted, trying not to roll her eyes and further antagonize Keller, “the bullet would’ve gone an inch and a half to the left and it wouldn’t have hit me at all.” 

“Contrary to popular belief, you are not _actually_ a superhero, EJ.  It’s only due to your accelerated healing that you’re even up and about now.  I’m allowing you leave a little early because I’m tired of your visitors traipsing into my infirmary all hours of the day.  My staff can’t get anything done without tripping over one of your guests.  If you feel any unusual pain, come back here immediately. Don’t undo all my hard work.” 

“You’ve already used the big needles on me, Jennifer,” EJ stood up slowly, “ _And_ you sedated me.  I’m not sure what else you can threaten me with.” 

Keller narrowed her eyes, “I have the power to make sure you don’t leave this infirmary for months, EJ.  Who knows what kinds of tests I might have to run to make sure you are completely healed.” 

“Geez.  You’re _mean,_ " EJ pouted, "Who knew there was such evil lurking beneath that perky exterior?” 

“Don’t worry, Doc,” Sheppard came around the bed and took EJ’s arm. 

“I’ll make sure she takes it easy,” Sheppard started walking EJ slowly towards the door.  As they neared the exit, he whispered loudly towards her, “Stay quiet or the vampire lady will start using you for a pincushion again.” 

“I heard that, Sheppard,” Jennifer shouted as they left the infirmary. 

Sheppard kept his hand on EJ’s elbow, guiding her silently back to her room.  He waved his hand over the crystals to open her door and finally let go of her so she could walk in ahead of him. 

EJ turned towards him uneasily, “Could I…um…borrow your radio? I never got mine back.” 

“You’re on medical leave.  Who do you need to call right now?”

She walked very slowly to the tall dresser across from her bed. 

“I just wanted to ask Teyla to stop by.  I really want to take a proper shower but I’ll need some help getting undressed,” she opened the top drawer and pulled out a plain cotton black bra and matching panties, “I don’t want to bend too much and end up in Jennifer’s clutches again.” 

“Teyla went to the Athosian settlement this morning.  She won’t be back until tomorrow,” the tips of Sheppard's ears pinked as he continued, “I can help, if you don’t want to wait for her.” 

EJ tilted her head and tried to decide how much she wanted that shower. 

“…All right.  If you’re sure you don’t mind.” 

She _really_ wanted to be fully clean again.  She headed into the bathroom.  She tossed the bra and panties she was holding onto the counter.  She sent a thought to Atlantis and the water turned on as Sheppard walked in. 

There was awkward silence for a long moment before John knelt down in front of her to pull her thick white socks off.  He reached up and pulled the burnt-orange scrub pants down.  Her hand went to his shoulder to steady herself as he helped her step out of them.  He stood up and pulled the matching shirt up, sliding her right arm out, then her left, very gingerly, then pulled it over her head, dropping it onto the counter beside him.  She was standing in front of him wearing a beautiful emerald green bra and matching panties.  He saw the angry red mark just above her hip bone on her left side, the pale marks left over from the stitches harsh against her slightly tanned skin.  His hand came up to her hip and his thumb brushed carefully against her just beyond the marred skin. 

“You got shot again,” John said very softly, still looking at her wound. 

“ _Believe_ me, I know,” EJ scoffed. 

“He was aiming for me, wasn’t he?” he looked up at her wide, violet eyes and kept running his thumb against the smooth skin next to her injury. 

“Yes, he was.  There was the reason I didn’t want you to go to that meeting.  I knew you would be a tempting target, but Richard insisted.  Next time, I won’t be deterred.” 

John lifted his other hand to brush the pale pink scar that was still visible under the strap on her right shoulder. 

“That one was actually aiming for me,” EJ said with more than a hint of annoyance, “I still can’t believe he actually hit me.”  

“But you wouldn’t have been in a position to get shot, either time, if it wasn’t for me.” 

“I understood all the risks involved in both situations.  I was prepared.  Getting injured was a risk I was willing to take.” 

“Why?” John was still looking into her eyes, searching for something. 

“It’s not like I get shot on _purpose_ ,” EJ deflected. 

“Emmaline.  Why did you come after us on that planet?  Why did you put yourself in danger like that?” 

“Better me than someone else, I heal fast.  I can handle the pain and I didn’t want anyone else to get hurt,” EJ used a falsely calm tone as she shrugged.    

“And when you stepped in front of the gun aimed at me?”

She dropped her eyes to the center of his chest and didn’t answer. 

He moved his hand from her shoulder to hold her chin and tilt her head back so she would meet his eyes again, “Why would you do that, Emma?” 

She only looked at him, unable to make herself answer his question.  Emotion flickered in his eyes so fast that she didn’t recognize it. 

There was another awkward pause before he dropped his hands and took a step back from her. 

“Do you need help with the actual washing or will you be okay?” 

“I’ll be fine.  I’ve managed to wash with one hand before,” EJ turned away towards the shower, “Thanks for the help.  Could you have someone drop by with my radio?  Just in case I need to call Jennifer.” 

“Yeah, I’ll make sure you get it back tonight,” Sheppard retreated from the bathroom quickly. 

EJ waited until she heard the door slide open and shut before she let out an unsteady exhale.  She finished undressing clumsily and stepped into the shower. 

Ten minutes later, as she was rinsing the shampoo from her long hair, she heard the outside door open and shut again.  There was some quiet rustling in the room, then the door opened and shut again.  She cut the water off and toweled herself dry gently.  She slipped carefully into the black cotton bra and underwear she had left on the counter then wrapped the towel around her.   

She walked out of the bathroom to see a tray of sandwiches and alien fruits sitting on her desk, all her favorites.  There were several bottles of water next to the tray.  Her earpiece was on the bed next to three folded shirts she didn’t recognize.  She picked one of the shirts up, unfolding it, and realized it was a long-sleeved men’s dress shirt.  It would be much easier for her to put on by herself than any of the regular shirts she had.  She fingered the soft fabric and wondered who they belonged to. 


	20. Chapter Nineteen - Chances

Two days later, EJ was sitting in the mess hall with Evan and the rest of their team having dinner.  She was wearing one of the shirts, a deep blue one, sleeves rolled up enough they didn’t fall over her hands, with her black capris and short grey socks without any shoes.  Her long hair was hanging in loose, blonde waves around her shoulders.  

EJ was smiling easily at the men around her when Sheppard stomped up to the table.  She looked up and saw the grim look on his face. 

“Crap,” EJ picked up her unopened pudding cup and slapped it down onto Lorne’s tray. 

“Told you he’d find you,” Lorne smirked at her. 

“You just cost me a chocolate pudding cup, Sheppard,” EJ pouted up at him. 

“Good,” Sheppard glared at her. 

"Three words, Sheppard, _chocolate pudding cup,_ " EJ protested.   

“I say again, _good_ ," Sheppard scowled, "What happened to taking it easy?” 

“I am taking it easy!" EJ insisted, "It’s only a short walk from my room to here.  Evan walked with me the whole way.  Bobby got my tray for me, so I’ve been sitting since I got here.  Honest.” 

Sheppard turned his glare to the three men sitting at the table.  They didn’t meet his eyes, suddenly very interested in the food in front of them. 

“And don’t you be mad at them,” EJ continued, “It was my idea.  I needed to get out of my room.  They only agreed to help me so I wouldn’t hurt myself during my escape.  Evan told me you’d be mad, but I convinced him to spring me anyway.”   

“Apparently, _Evan_ is the only smart one in this scenario,” Sheppard went back to glaring at her, “We need to talk, Baran.” 

“Pull up a chair then,” EJ motioned to the empty spot at the table, “I’m pretty much done eating now anyway.” 

John wrapped his fingers around her wrist. 

“ _Emmaline_ ,” he pulled her gently up from the table, “Let’s go.” 

EJ ignored the stares and whispers as Sheppard led her by the wrist through the halls.  As soon as they stepped into the transporter, EJ pulled her arm away. 

“I am not a child, Sheppard.  I don’t need to be led around by the hand.” 

John pressed the screen behind him to take them to the area that housed her room.  There was a quick flash of light and John was silent as he took her wrist again.  He pulled her behind him towards her room.  He swiped a hand over the crystals to open the door and pulled EJ into the room.  The door slid shut behind her as she pulled her wrist from his grip again.   

“I will not be man-handled,” EJ demanded, “What is _wrong_ with you?” 

“What’s wrong with _me_?” John crowded her against the door, “What’s wrong with _you_?  You were shot.  You are on _medical leave_.  You’re supposed to be relaxing and recovering.” 

“I don’t need to be stuck in my room all day to recover,” EJ shot back, “It’s not like I was doing backflips in the hall or anything.  I’m allowed to walk around.  Short walks are good for the muscles.” 

“You. Were. _Shot_. Emmaline,” Sheppard was practically yelling now. 

“Not for the first time and most likely not for the last,” EJ put her hands on his chest and pushed him back a step, “I heal fast.  I’ll get over it.” 

“ _You_ might,” his voice wavered. 

“Don’t worry, Colonel.  I’ll be fully healed in a month or two and you can go back to avoiding me.  Then you won’t have to worry about your guilty conscience anymore.” 

“You think this is about my conscience?” John took another step back. 

“What else would it be?” EJ crossed her arms across her chest, “You’re upset because you think that I got shot while you were supposed to be protecting me.  Let me ease your mind.  There was nothing you could have done.  That idiot was intent on shooting someone, I just happened to be in his way when he fired.” 

“Of course I’m upset,” John roared, “You took a bullet meant for _me_.  You could have died.” 

EJ rolled her eyes at him, throwing her hands into the air, “Fine!  Next time there is a moron with a gun pointed at you, I won’t get in the way.  I’ll just let him shoot you.  Will that make you feel better?” 

“It might,” John replied dryly. 

“You…you…ridiculous… _man_!” EJ sputtered, “How could that possibly be any better?” 

“Because then you wouldn’t be hurt!” 

“Listen to me very carefully, John Sheppard,” EJ poked one finger into his chest, her voice taking on a hard edge, “I am _not_ a damsel-in-distress.  I do not need some snarky flyboy with an over-developed hero complex and ridiculously spiky hair to protect me.  I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself.” 

“So am I!” John’s jaw was clenched with the effort of keeping his anger in check, “I don’t need some perky blonde woman with a swishy ponytail and a sarcastic attitude-” 

“I do NOT have a swishy ponytail!” EJ insisted loudly. 

“-to protect me.  Yet you did it anyway,” John spoke over her interruption. 

“Yes, I did.  I’m beginning to regret that decision now, however.  If I had known you were going to be such a pain in the ass about it, I would’ve let him shoot you.”    

“Why did you step in front of the gun meant for me?” 

“Why does it even matter to you?” 

“Please.  Just…answer the question.” 

“Because I couldn’t let him hurt you!” EJ practically shouted, the words bursting from her mouth.  She tried to keep her face free of all emotion, but she couldn’t. 

John saw the mix of hope and fear in her eyes. 

“I chose to kill for you, John,” EJ breathed quietly, “Why do you find it so hard to believe that I would die for you as well?” 

“I need to know why, Emmaline,” John said firmly, holding her chin so she would look him in the eye, “You need to explain it to me.” 

“I did it because I care for you, you big idiot," EJ swore, "Because despite the fact that you now think all I do is hurt people and despite the fact that you have been avoiding me since you found out what I am, I care about you.  I don’t know why, because you’re a huge pain in the ass, but I do care.  I couldn’t stand by and let someone hurt you.  I saw him moving towards us.  I saw the glint of metal in his hand.  My unconscious reaction was to protect you.  I didn’t even think about it.  That will always be my reaction, no matter what you say, because try as I might, I cannot stop myself from caring about what happens to you.” 

John moved his hand from her chin to cup her cheek, “Emma.” 

He leaned down to give her a soft kiss on her lips. 

EJ blinked at him several times in confusion, “That is _not_ an appropriate reaction for when you’re mad at someone.” 

John laughed softly and kissed her again, “I wasn’t mad at you for protecting me, Em.  I’m angry you got hurt again.” 

He pulled her closer and put a hand in the small of her back, rubbing gentle circles through her shirt. 

“But…you’ve been avoiding me since you found about who I am…since I told you about Project Shadow,” EJ said hesitantly.  

“Project Shadow is not _who you are_.  Project Shadow is something that was _done to you_ ," John insisted strongly, "I’m beyond furious that someone could do the things they did to you.  I want to kill the man who took you away from your family and made you do his dirty work.  When you said he died from cancer, my first thought was that it was way too good a fate for him.  You were used by Lynch and then you were used by your handlers.  And when one of them was done using you, he betrayed you.  I was avoiding you because I didn’t know what to say to you.  I thought you had lied to me...to all of us.  I thought you were using Atlantis to get away from your problems and that you didn’t really care about any of the people here.”   

“I _was_ using Atlantis at first.  It was just a convenient place for me to hide.  Then I met the people here and I made friends for the first time in my life.  This became my home.  I feel safe here in a way I never have before.  Which is ironic considering we could be eaten by space vampires or blown up at any time.  But I have _never_ lied to you or anyone else here.  I may not have told you everything, but I never lied.”    

“That was pointed out to me,” John grimaced a little, “I got yelled at by my team.  Ronon called me an idiot and Teyla gave me one of her lectures.  And _McKay_ told me I was being rude.” 

EJ laughed as he continued, “I was hiding in my office doing _paperwork_ when Lorne told me to come to the gym with him that day.  I saw what you did with those men.  I have never seen any group of them work together so well.  They respect you and what you’ve taught them.  Any one of them would follow you through fire without a second thought.” 

“I would never ask any of them for that," EJ shook her head, "I would never ask _anyone_ to do that.” 

“That’s why they would.  And it’s not just them either.  Nearly everyone in the City came to see you when you were in the infirmary.  You’ve won everyone over with your hundred-watt smile and your ridiculous sense of humor.  _That’s_ who you are: a beautiful, intelligent, strong, caring woman that everyone wants to keep safe.  _Especially_ me.” 

“But I don’t need…that’s not… _I’m_ not…” EJ shook her head again.   

“You may _need_ anyone to protect you, but you are definitely worth protecting.  Your life isn’t worth less than anyone else’s,” John started kissing her face softly, her forehead, her cheeks, her nose, her jaw, “And if you _ever_ say any differently, I’m going to spank that cute little ass of yours.” 

 “Last person to touch my ass got his nose broken,” EJ said dryly, “You sure you want to do that?” 

“I’ll take my chances,” he kissed down her jaw to her neck. 

“Did Rodney _really_ call you rude?” 

“Yes, he did,” John punctuated each word with another soft kiss to the side of her neck, “He even stomped off without finishing his lunch.”   

“Oh my,” EJ's voice was soft and low now, “He really was upset.” 

John pulled the open collar of her shirt to the side to kiss her collarbone. 

“Did you leave your shirts for me to wear so I could get dressed by myself?” EJ asked curiously.

“Couldn’t take the chance you’d call someone else to help you get dressed,” John nodded against the side of her neck.   

“Possessive.  Duly noted,” EJ gasped as John bit down gently on the sensitive muscles at the junction of her neck and shoulders. 

“Very," John soothed the bite with a quick swipe of his tongue, "I don’t share well.”  

EJ let out a cut-off whimper as he nibbled his way back up the side of her neck. 

“John?” 

“Yes, Emma?” 

She grabbed the short hair at the back of his head to pull him up to meet her eyes.  His hazel-green eyes were nearly black with desire.  She let her hand fall to his shoulder. 

“Are you going to kiss me properly?” 

John smiled wickedly.  He moved his hand down her back to the muscled curve of her butt and dragged her flush against him.  He grabbed a handful of her silky blonde hair in the other hand and pulled gently, tilting her head back to meet her eyes. 

“You’re supposed to be recovering from a gunshot wound.  No strenuous activity, remember?  If I kiss you the way I really want… I’m not sure that’s a good idea, Em.” 

EJ's violet eyes were nearly as black as John's when she answered with a smile, “I’ll take my chances.”  


	21. Epilogue - Three Months Later

John walked through the door to his quarters and dropped his gear onto the small couch.  It was dark out, either very late or very early, he wasn’t really sure.  The mission that was supposed to take only a couple hours had taken almost two days after Rodney found some cool new toy.  He wiped a tired hand over his face and sat down to unlace his boots.  He pulled them off, then stood up and began to unbutton his shirt.  He saw a crumpled uniform on his floor that he didn’t remember leaving there and boots by the door that were definitely too small to be his.  He pulled his shirt off and undid his belt.  He looked around the corner at his bed and saw a slim, distinctly feminine form.  He stripped down to his black boxer-briefs and smiled as he climbed under the sheet.  He pulled the woman close and buried his face in her soft, blonde hair, inhaling the sweet scent that was uniquely hers. 

EJ rolled over to face John and gave him a sleepy smile, “You’re home.” 

“I am.  Sorry it took so long,” he kissed her nose, “Why are you in my bed?  Not that I mind, just curious.” 

“Couldn’t sleep.  Your bed is more comfortable,” EJ nuzzled into the side of his neck, “And I was missing you.” 

John ran a hand up her thigh, across her hip, and slipped it under her shirt to rest at her waist.  He kissed the side of her neck softly and leaned back to look at her.  He sat halfway up and pulled the sheet down to her waist. 

“Emma, are you wearing my shirt again?” John asked with a smirk. 

She laughed and pressed a kiss to his chest.  She sat up enough to pull the shirt over her head, dropped it onto the floor next to the bed, and laid back down. 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, John.  I would never do such a thing,” she said cheekily. 

John looked at the beautiful woman lying in his bed, wearing only a naughty smile and a scrap of blue cotton that could barely be called panties. 

“Of course not,” he leaned over her and kissed her thoroughly. 

When she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer, he discovered he wasn't nearly as tired as he thought.   

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I managed to finish the whole thing! *Pats self on back* Thanks for reading! Please leave comments and suggestions so I can get better. If you enjoyed this story, please read the rest of the Shadow 'Verse series.
> 
>  
> 
> Update info: Finally finished! Yay me! I somehow managed to add close to six thousand words. Not entirely sure how that happened. 
> 
> Questions, Comments and Kudos are always appreciated. Thanks again for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> Check out my tumblr - truestargoddess- for Stargate related things!


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